Thanks you guys I just wished they could see its not easy as they think to NOT think this way.
again---seeing it from the other side they are wishing that we could see that it is US that needs to do the heavy lifting. I think we, often, expect family and friends to say THE right piece of info, that we will be cured. OR some of us just want tea and sympathy. I often think that what we anxious mean when we say our families don't understand is that they have stopped reassuring us endlessly.
I know I may sound like I'm saying that we don't need to be treated well or better said with compassion. We do. But if we only had family and friends who understood completely and allowed our thinking to run unhampered by encouraging some of our thinking, how would we get better? The better thing for our family to do is say: encourage counseling, exercising, hobbies, meditation, ...... Even then how long are they supposed to encourage the proactive habits before they throw up their hands?
no it isn't easy to work through the stuff. BUT it doesn't get better if we don't change our habits and mindsets long term....
One of the most critical aspects of getting some sort of firmer footing on a viable healing path for anxiety is learning that seeking out reassurances can come in may forms. And, understanding that continually seeking out reassurances is a powerful driver in keeping us from feeling that we can be the major definer of most of our, overall, well-being. Look, I know a lot of us are gonna look for reassurances, here and there....it is part of the 'anxiety disease'. But, that doesn't mean that we can't be cognizant of the need to try to reduce this reassurance seeking as much as possible. It is through seeing that we are still OK (alive and kickin' and, even, smiling too:), AFTER we have not sought out reassurances (eventhough we desperately wanted to!), that we can better begin building upon facing our challenges with more of our own resolve.
This is not meant to sound harsh. 'Getting better' from anxiety stuff is not really best served by hand holding, so to speak. Compassion - Yes. Unchallenged acceptance of continued falling back into bad habits and actions - NO. What I have found in my 27 years of being and anxiety peep, myself, and trying to help some others, here and there, is that when we are hyper and locked into a fear cycle (struggling) is that there is not a single reassurance that is likely to hit home - calm our fears - quell our doubts. The ultimate reassurance doesn't exist. So why seek it? Instead of asking for reassurances ask for some time - some space - some resources - some gentle support that will allow YOU the time - the space - the resources - the support that can provide YOU with the opportunity for self-help (exercises, techniques, therapies, good habits, education, etc).
I say as little as possible to anyone, as most people could care less and have their own
problems to deal with.
I am the same and I have found this to be more true than I would like:) But, ultimately, those peeps cannot help us so it isn't anything that we should really be that upset over. Mental health challenges are still 'looked down upon' by most. Feel no personal guilt over having anxiety disorder - is my feeling....that is if we are working on living well:) And, keep in mind that ALMOST ALL PEEPS have their own issues and their own problems and their own life challenges and their own insecurities and their own doubts and their own fears, etc. Be careful saying to ourselves, "I wish I could be like that person...they seem to be so carefree and loving life so much. I wish they knew what I went through getting through some of my days. Why can't I be like that?!" I know quite a few peeps, who don't have anxiety issues (as far as I know:) whose lives are filled with drama and angst and bitterness and jealousy and insecurity...and some happiness, too, I imagine. I wouldn't trade places with anyone really....well, maybe Derek Jeter (for a day or two:)
Peace and Feel Well:)