How does HA affect your every day life?

[Inuyasha_Muffin]

I've been thinking about this for a long time. I recently started a new job, my FIRST thought after walking in the door; "would anyone react if I fell to the floor dying?" LOL. and OF COURSE I've gained a new symptom, the night before I started working. I noticed that I'm much different than everyone around me... They are all very carefree and relaxed, while I'm sitting in the corner with my hand on my cell phone in the event that my brain erupts. I've also never noticed how distant I am from the people around me! They're having conversations and I'm glancing around "checking" on my symptoms. I've also been trying to keep the "checking" to a minimum. When I'm at home I close one of my eyes and squint to see the difference and the other day I caught myself one eye'd squinting and my trainer XD! I wonder if panic mode ever goes away? I also have senarios in my head, for instance, I dont have a car so my grandparents have been taking me to work (my engine caught on fire, figures the ONE time I wasnt expecting disaster LOL) so the moment I get in the car all I can imagine is impact, another car hitting us or flipping just any kind of bad thing that could happen. I am also afraid to drive myself, what if I go blind while im driving or pass out or well you guys know XD. Another thing I do is right when I get to my desk I DEEP clean it, it is flu season and I read that work is the germiest place! I'm also very indifferent about finding love. My HA has given me a few reasons but one of the biggest is that I dont feel like I can give someone everything they need because I am the way I am. Selfish, I feel very selfish... My nephew was getting a dental procedure done that required him to be put under, and I sat there all day worrying about a brain tumor ect ect. I also have a haard time falling asleep because the second I lay my head I also do NOT like to go out, I feel like im tempting fate when I leave my house .-. I have been forcing myself to do things like go to work and go see friends but I know that you know how I feel. I feel trapped as well! I know fear is fear and its all equal but I cant get away from this "sick" body of mine, you know? That bothers me alot. Also, I talk about my symptoms TOO MUCH.. to my friends and family and even a few of my coworkers know about my issues now. Honestly, it makes me crazy, makes me feel insane and I feel helpless. BUT life goes on XD well... it has to!Oh! How do you deal with it? I escape to anime land or video game land XD then I dont think as much as usual.

[trainwreck]

Inuyasha_Muffin - you sound much younger than me.  The way I dealt with it was the same as you.  Then I decided I wasn't going to let it steal more of my life that it already had.  I had kids and I wanted to enjoy them.  So I worked hard with my doctor. 

Am I cured? No.  But for years I was.  Once in awhile it creeps back in and you deal with it. 

As for not even caring about finding love.....you just made my point about it stealing a life. 

So as Sixpack likes to say....what is your plan?  What are YOU going to do about it.  Because you can get better.  But you have to commit to it. 

[Smalm]

I fear getting deathly ill from rabies (irrational rabies fear) and I fear anything else that can make my health go downhill like the cold and stuff like that, I have a kick a$$ immune system and that's what I fear losing (as in I fear it'll get weak) and I also fear losing my life since I've been close to death a couple of times. It sucks since I'm a teen and have a life to live, as for daily affects it depends I fear going outside or climbing trees because I fear that I'lll get rabies from doing that. I also fear any symptom that can be associated to rabies, like a headache; sometimes I know the cause andother times not. I also fear closing/leaving my door open So Ileave it open with the hallway light on so that if a critter were to come in my room I'd seee it's shadow and this time of year isn't to worry about bats so no closed door another reason I keep it open is if I feel sick or am dyingor something (so I can yell at my dad). I had real bad anxiety from June 2012 to January 2013 and until March 2013 I was living the anxiety free life but I've been in a downward spiral with my anxiety since then and my dad keeps saying that Heather moving out helped my anxiety level and that's a lil true, I felt relieved but NOT anxiety free. I should of never went outside and founs that dead critter for it has ut me in this anxiety state... and since my anxiety is irrational it makes it worse. Justr to think the tingling of my left hand from Carpel Tunnel and a tampon fear of TSS started my Hypochondria train for me and I think with the nill sopport I'm getting I think I'll be on this train for quite awile/ the resat of my life