Health anxiety is having a great time with me just now. I'm latching on to everything and to be hOnest just not coping at all. I have 3 weeks left of my pregnancy.
So over a year ago I was prodding around collarbone and came across a tiny lump. Freaked out and went to gp. He felt it and immediately said it was not a lymph node. He said it felt like a tiny bit off fatty deposit, common in this area. I left feeling ok.
Then a couple weeks later I went to see my usual gp to ask her thoughts on it, she also said not lymph node. I remember asking her how she knew and her saying 'because it doesnt feel like one and it feels more like a fatty lump or cyst'. I left happy.
Then in September last year I was worrying about breast ca and went to see a breast specialist/surgeon. I asked him about whether this was a lymph node. His hand immediately went to the area near the shoulder and said no nodes. I showed him the thing I felt and he said where it is, is not where lymph nodes are and it's a placing on site for fatty bit. I figured given collarbone nodes is an area he specialises in given its incidence with bc sometimes, that he surely was right.
I've forgotten about the lump. It has not changed and is still very small. It's almost on the collarbone but seems to actually live right behind it but can be rolled out onto it.
Anyway I went to an out of hours gp last night as been having problems with my ear. He felt glands under neck ad then his hands felt near that area. So now it's freak me out worrying that it could be a node. He never mentioned feeling it and neither did I. I just asked how my glands were and he said 'yeah not too bad'. Ofcourse being someone who suffers ha I'm playing on his words. What does not to bad mean? They are fine? They are up a bit with the war problem? Or was he just not wanting to say......
So basically all day I've been touching this little ball. Inside I'm frantic and connecting all the dots. I can't take much more of this worry and uncertainty..
Please if you can offer some rationalisation please do as I need the help right now.
