not another day of this.....(sigh)

[vanilla1969]

Had a very bad day yesterday and it looks the same today but I have to go to work. As soon as my eyes opened I felt the nervousness and small panic, had to get up and go to the bathroom because of it. God please don't let me have another day of constant nervousness. Had to take more than my usual Lorazepam in order to relax enough to fall asleep. Felt this way last week and it finally eased up thinking the scare from having to take my son to the ER Monday night brought it back up. Noticed it cause my blood pressure to be high (im on blood pressure meds) last night which in turn caused more nervousness but I'm wondering if I should take my monitor to work cause I don't want my blood pressure to be stroke level and I don't even know it. I HATE THIS!!

[sixpack]

what purpose does that BP monitor serve?  did your doctor say you needed to monitor your BP?  If this BP monitor was purchased at the urging of your BEASTLY, then get rid of it.  It only serves to keep your anxiety amped up. If your doctor suggested the BP monitor, then I would still throw it out.  Then I would call the doc and tell him that monitoring your BP is backfiring and only increasing your anxiety.


Now----  if your child was in the ER, you are going to have to expect that your anxiety is going to be increased.  It takes a toll on a person who doesn't have a disorder and only makes one with an anxiety disorder much worse.

[vanilla1969]

Yeah I'm suppose to monitor it but not like I did  last night, last night I took my blood pressure about 9 times, I do it cause it also calms me down if I see its low but it backfires if its high. I was fine yesterday morning but had to take my son to another ER cause the chikdrens ER was packed the night before and I went ahead and took him home since the bleeding stopped. Been noticing my nerves are very bad now and my two kids talk and play constantly which drives me through the roof and I was at the ER dealling with this for about 3 hours, after the first hour I stated to feel the anxiety from them wrecking my nerves then it went downhill from there and been downhill every since. That's what makes me wonder if this is neurological, I have dealt with issues and stress my entire life and I never had this, this past two years has been off and on again HELL. I sometimes wonder if people who take their life feel like this cause this feeling is awful and maybe to some death is the best option. Don't worry I'm to chicken to 0473.

[marc]

At one point my anxiety was very high and I felt their was no hope. Just remember their is hope and
you have others to take care of, so it is important to stay around for as long as you can.

[vanilla1969]

@marc that's how I feel like I'm going to be committed in a straight jacket in a white room. Sometimes this is pure hell. A few times I visioned myself out of control being committed in a mental institution and that scares me, like u said I have two little ones that need me. I have 5 in all two in their early twenties, one 16 almost 17 and the 12 and 13 year old.

[floridaguy65]

Hi V. Sorry you're struggling currently:)

My brother (who has more than just anxiety issues, as far as mental health challenges) checks his blood pressure probably 50 times a day - likely more. He has a minor blood pressure concern that is treated with meds. His Doc said that there simply is no reason for anyone to check their blood pressure more than once a day, unless given a very specific reason...and that would entail there being MORE than a normal blood pressure issue. Millions of peeps have blood pressure issues and they are best controlled by meds (if needed) and diet and exercise. If we do the right things, it almost always isn't a serious health concern and it has little bearing on our longterm prognosis....again, if we are doing the right things for it.

Checking our own blood pressure, too often, is a tremendously counterproductive habit. There is little ( to no ) real 'good' that comes from it. And, as you know the good reading's feel good 'high' is fleeting, at best. But, the 'off' reading (and they can be just marginally high) will send us into a tizzy, often. And, there are so many variables as to the true accuracy of self checking that go into the overall process of chekcing our vitals. A 'tizzy' is far more lasting its ability to keep us locked in a fear cycle than a fleeting 'high' holds in its ability to give us any type of intrinsic peace. So, where's the overall 'good' from this habit?

Each of us who self checks vitals believes they are protecting themselves. This simply is not the case. And, of course it feels risky to move away from these type habits. Our anxious minds lock into the fear driven notion, "Well, nothing really bad has happened yet while I'm doing ________ (insert bad habit), so I better keep it up - or else!" Powerful, but FALSE, anxiety-driven reasoning.

Had a very bad day yesterday and it looks the same today but I have to go to work. As soon as my eyes opened I felt the nervousness and small panic, had to get up and go to the bathroom because of it. God please don't let me have another day of constant nervousness.

What do you do for your anxiety when you wake up? this would be a great time for you to give yourself 10 mins or so to practice some anti-anxiety exercises, techniques and affirmations:)

Peace and Feel Well:)