My issues recently

[Froakie]

I'm not too sure how to explain, but lately I've been feeling somewhat out of it. Last night I had a dream where I was freaking out because I wasn't quite sure if it was reality or a dream. I remember in the dream just freaking out to my mom constantly asking her if i'm in a dream or not. Of course the dream just like all dreams was pretty vague so i didn't exactly understand what she was saying. Then, I wake up with a startle laying in my bed quickly thinking to myself "Thank goodness it was just a dream" but when I woke up I mentally started feeling weird. As usual, when I wake up from my sleep I get slight confusion and I would have to give myself some time to wake up and regain myself. now I'm afraid to sleep because of this fear of never waking up. I've had that fear once before back then a month ago but this was a different trigger. Also before this happened I've had some very frightening mental experiences such as feeling very unconscious and somewhat forgetful. I also feel like in reality i'm in a dream sometimes. Also, after playing a certain video game i feel like I'm in a cinematic cutscene and it's like i'm in a third-person view. The feeling of not being exactly there and the depression lacks my motivation. I get very dissociated and disoriented from this. I get very angry a lot as well, even little things will piss me off but I've been told that it's probably a genetic thing because i know a few of my family members that have anger problems. I think I've had it all my life but I just never knew. There's also this thing that happens where when I socialise with a bunch of people like my family i go home the following night and go to bed and I will hear their voices as I lie down. ONLY if I'm laying down. Like, the weirdest mental crap happens to me when I'm laying down trying to fall asleep.

[cutecat25]

The feeling of feeling like you are in a dream or not quite here is Derealisation. It is one of my worst anxiety symptoms.