I had a routine OBGYN appointment today, and I talked to the doctor about my increased anxiety and also my impending rheumatologist’s appointment and scleroderma concerns. Based on some symptoms/conditions I have that can be related to scleroderma, he said he thought it made sense for me to go to a rheumatologist after the pregnancy. When I told him I already have an appointment set for this week, he told me to keep it, and that it’s OK to “think” about scleroderma, but not to “obsess” about it.
For years, my family doctor has written off my scleroderma fears, so I was a little anxious that the OBGYN wasn’t entirely dismissive of it as a possibility. But, at the same time, I appreciated that he didn’t just write me off as an anxiety case. He understood why my health issues led me to make the connection to scleroderma. Still, it’s always a little anxiety-inducing when the doc is open to the possibility you could have what you fear most!!
He encouraged me not to worry, because that won’t change whether I have it or don’t. (Ha! If only I could follow that advice!!!) And he at least noted that if I have it, then I must have the “mildest case” since my symptoms date back 9 years and I am not that sickly. I left there not really having a sense of whether he thinks I have it or not, but just that he feels there’s no point in obsessing about it.
I am just used to docs saying, “Don’t worry about X” … “You don’t have X” … etc. So I am not sure how I feel about how things went today. I am just anxiously counting down to the rheumatologist’s appointment. Two days to go and so many thoughts circling my mind.