Struggling to accept this is just health anxiety :(

[ahrimoniac]

I confess that, somewhat unusually, I am struggling really hard today to accept that my two 'symptoms' are just anxiety related. I haven't run through a full litany of tests yet on my legs or my shakes but I have had a few. I had an MRI of my brain and eyes and it came back with no significant abnormalities. I've also seen an opthamalogist who said my eyes were in a good state of health. I have to wait until May to see a neurologist unless I pay privately, and my partner can't support that because we're trying to save money.

Basically, I have two constant, non-abating symptoms – a full body shake, and problems with my left leg.

The shake is like a constant hum, which gets worse towards the middle of the day, meaning I'm physically shaking hard. This shaking is also affecting my vision in that my vision shakes.

The second symptom with my leg is the one that is concerning me most. I have a constant 'dead' feeling in the leg, like it is heavy and I'm having to almost pull it along. Occasionally it will go to pins and needles or a very sharp ache right behind the knee.

Now – I am going through a period of health anxiety, I know that. I am trying to control it through CBT, medication and deep-breathing.

The reason I am struggling is twofold. These symptoms are constant, non-changing – they don't disappear when I'm distracted or calm or even deep in thought, but they're always there. I've had anxiety before and it manifested itself in quick breath and a racing heart and I 'knew' I was anxious and thus I could calm down. This time, I actually feel pretty calm, but because it is a constant nag at me. I'm not constantly scanning my body for new symptoms and I am going out of my way to fight this head-on, but when it hurts to walk and hurts to see I just feel depressed and down. I try to be jovial and I can't keep it up. My partner has been very supportive but I feel like I'm pushing him away with my constant moaning and queries.

Bit sick of life, to be honest.

[LivD]

I'm sorry that you're down. 
But I'm pretty sure it takes some time for such intense symptoms to go away. Even if you manage to relax for a while, your body will still be in stress mode. I'm experiencing the same. Having been calmer for some months, my symptoms are slowwwly going away but I have relapses. Anyway, my resilience is now much better.
So please don't give up! 

[ahrimoniac]

Thank you for the kind words :-)
Makes sense that my body will need to calm down hut it is so hard to keep perspective!

[Nikki88]

This is where I'm at right now   my symptoms are different, but same idea.  I just can't accept the fact that there is nothing wrong.  I just want piece of mind all the time and I can't settle for less. To further complicate things I switched jobs so I won't have insurance until May, so I think in my head I know I really cant' go to my doctor or the ER right now because I can't afford, so that makes my symptoms even more scary

I feel for you.

[wegngis]

There's nothing wrong with continuing to seek a diagnosis.  It becomes troublesome, however, when we as hypochondriacs don't believe the diagnosis AFTER the full litany of tests.  Before those tests?  It's anyone's guess as to why it's happening.  For example, I get the full body pulsing that cycles at about 3-4 cycles per second.  It comes and goes, but I've had MRIs, blood tests, neurological tests.  All came back OK.  At that point the medical professionals are telling me they can't find anything physically causing it.  To me, that must mean it's mental, right?  Right.  So I've proceeded with my life as if it's a mental disorder, which it is.

[hypomom]

When i was in my very early 20's I was SURE there was something wrong with me. I just knew it was a brain tumor or something just as bad. I LITERALLY could not stand up. If I attempted to sit upright or stand I passed out. When I sat up slightly leaning back I'd get super dizzy and the whole room would spin. I laid on my couch for almost 48 hours without food or drink because of this until a neighbor came to check on me and i yelled and she busted her way in and called 911. I had a mri, cat scan, etc and was told point blank by the ER doctor is was anxiety and to basically get over it and get out of the ER.

It took me MONTHS to feel better and but several doctors appointments later, and months later guess what??? It all went away and hasn't come back. I had to first ACCEPT it was anxiety and then it took a while for my body to meet me halfway and all those symptoms went away. Your mantra needs to be "This is just stress. It feels bad but cannot hurt me. I have had tests and i'm ok"

[vanilla1969]

I'M Having A Hard Time Accepting It As Well, I Had An MRI For Dizziness In The Summer Of 2011 After A Test That I Took That Measure The Time Response From ThE Eyes To The Brain Was A Little Off. MRI was Normal, Still Makes Me Wonder If There Is A Neurological Problem Causing The Anxiety And Almost Passing Out Feelings I'm Getting. I Hate This, Wouldn't Wish It On My Worst Enemy. Goin To Look For A Neurologist For AnswerS Or A Piece Of Mind.

[LivD]

It took me MONTHS to feel better and but several doctors appointments later, and months later guess what??? It all went away and hasn't come back. I had to first ACCEPT it was anxiety and then it took a while for my body to meet me halfway and all those symptoms went away. Your mantra needs to be "This is just stress. It feels bad but cannot hurt me. I have had tests and i'm ok"

That's great, thanks for posting your story. 

[ahrimoniac]

Hello there folks - thank you for reading up on this!

It took me MONTHS to feel better and but several doctors appointments later, and months later guess what??? It all went away and hasn't come back. I had to first ACCEPT it was anxiety and then it took a while for my body to meet me halfway and all those symptoms went away. Your mantra needs to be "This is just stress. It feels bad but cannot hurt me. I have had tests and i'm ok"

I like this - too bloody true!

I have made the decision to take a leap of faith and accept that I have health anxiety. I'll wobble, sure, but to hell with it. Only through acceptance can I move on. Logically, I'm shaking because I'm anxious and have been that way for weeks. I told my body I was dying, it will react in a fashion.

To this end, I've booked onto a CBT course AND I've started anti-depressants - just to take the edge from the worry if I can. Let's hope it works.

As ever, thanks all. This website and my blog provide me with a great comfort.

[aunjypoo]

I can't even remember now what made me snap out of it, but I finally did and haven't been back since. I still have some symptoms now and again, but now I'm able to realize them for what they are, nothing. So I see specks sometimes, occular migraine, no biggee, I get weird muscle twitches, buzzes, oh well they always go away..

A couple months ago I was to the point I couldn't imagine being the way I was for one more day and I would cry at work, at home, at my parents house, in public, it didn't matter.. I was totally convinced I was dying..

But guess what, I'm still here, and I'm not in the hospital, I don't have a terrible diagnosis, I'm just me, with all my quirky ways..

I know it's easier said than done because I didn't want to believe anyone, my brain had me convinced I had every terrible, deadly, disease out there.

Anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds actually made me worse so I didn't take them like I was suppose to.

I went to 5 or 6 different doctors, had an mri, had numerous blood work done, and all of it came back fine but I didn't believe it.

My symptoms also didn't change or go away until.... lo and behold... I got distracted.. I couldn't make myself get distracted it just happened but when I did they went away.. Then I would get another one and obsess just as much.

Self-checking, google, and reading up on statistics will not help either.. And to be honest I had to stay away from here for a while because I thought I could just read what other people said about what I was feeling to feel better but in a weird way it just scared me worse that I was the one unlucky soul to have <enter any deadly disease here>.

It's funny to joke about now, but my husband and I both now how miserable I was for that time period.. I'd like to say I'm 'cured' but there's no way of knowing the future. I just know that today I feel fine, yesterday I felt fine, and I'm going to feel fine tomorrow.

There's hope, you just gotta work at it! :)

[wegngis]

But guess what, I'm still here, and I'm not in the hospital, I don't have a terrible diagnosis, I'm just me, with all my quirky ways..

For me, this is truly one of the most profound, yet simplest statements I've read on this forum.

[vanadio]

What really makes this difficult for me is my changes of body fat. I just look to my body and start thinking i have a serious disease

[LivD]

It's great to share both problems and success stories. Such a great forum