Quite Anxious

[norm62]

Hello all,
In 2005 i had Hodgkins Lymphoma, have been in remission thankfully since 2006.  Recently had CT Thorax and they saw some enlarged lymph nodes in chest are, the doc I saw who wasn't an oncologist said the scan was "unremarkable" and the nodes didn't seem "worrisome", I got letter from my original Oncologist today to attend him on this Wed 6th, I should be used to Onc visits but I am very very anxious as I been having upper under the rib side pain for a while and I am working myself into a frenzy now worrying not so much about Hodgkins reoccurrence but of all things Pancreas cancer or Liver, I am severely anxious at the moment and I should be positive but its not easy, my mom passed away last year and I miss her terribly also my brother has cancer and has just finished chemo, I am not sure if this is the right board to write all this, but I just need reassurance right now, i feel alone,  thank you all in advance

[vardnas]

Hey norm62, welcome.

First off, how old are you?

You're a bit different than most of us here, in that you've actually lived through a disease that many of us fear we have and do not. I'd say, in your situation, seeing your oncologist is probably a good thing. Do you know if your oncologist wants to see you because of the lymph nodes the other doctor called "unremarkable" or is this perhaps just a routine visit? Do you have frequent check ups to make sure you're cancer-free?

It's hard to remain calm, and in your case I'm sure doubly so, but ... try. You don't yet know why your oncologist is calling you in, or what the outcome of these nodes will be. It does sound like you're going through a pretty tough time right now, what with your mom dying and both you and your brother living through cancer. Have you ever been diagnosed with anxiety? I know when my dad died, it was a pretty stressful time, and I wish I'd gone to see a therapist then instead of waiting until I started having full-fledged panic attacks. Maybe you're already talking to someone, but I'd maybe look into it if I were you. Could help you sort out and deal with the stresses that are going on.

Try and not think catastrophic thoughts—and DO NOT google your symptoms. That's just asking for trouble. Keep us posted. 

[norm62]

Hello Vardnas
I have tried replying a few times but got error message, if all the replies go through it will be repetitive reading  I will give you a short version of the reply, thank you for your kindness, believe it or not I am 51 yrs I should be braver but it just frightens the life in me the thought of anything reoccuring, I havent been too bad regarding thinking like this before as I always had yearly or 6 monthly scans and all were ok.  I do need to talk to a councillor indeed I was meant to get in contact with one over Xmas due to my stress levels being sky high because of my circumstances with brother's illness, he thankfully has come out the other side with clear scan but is being monitored. I will up date tomorrow, IF the reply goes through, thank you again for your kindeness, its good to be able to talk about it.  Hope you are doing good.