This is kind of a long rant but I would really appreciate it if someone would take the time to read and offer some advice or insights on my problem.
So, after much research and lurking on this site and several others, I am fairly certain that I have pure o ocd and have had it for quite some time. I think I first experienced it around age 11 or 12 (I'm 21, almost 22 now) after seeing a movie that my grandmother had watched with her church groups about kids and devil worship, occult rituals, that sort of thing where kids would perform sacrifices and murder their families. After watching that I was mortally terrified that I was going to become possessed and hurt my family and frequently had to be dismissed from class to talk to the school counselor (who was next to no help to me). But eventually this subsided enough that I could sit through class all day and finally I was fine for several years. I remember having several other bouts over the years about different things that I would become fixated on, more harm-o and some health stuff I think. And, for about a year after having to move cities my sophomore year, I was desperately fixated on moving back to my old town. I feel like my obsessive thoughts affected a lot of my school life and I got terrible grades. I am also a bit on the introverted side and had a bit of social anxiety. I never wanted to go to school functions or participate in extracurricular activities. When I was 17, I tried pot for the first time and I think what I experienced was a panic attack. I remember I was extremely confused and disoriented and felt like my perception of time was severely altered (everything much too slow) and was hyper aware of my whole body. It really freaked me out and I got the silly idea that I might be schizophrenic which plagued me for a while. I'm writing this now because my obsessions have recently spiked and the only that I think could have triggered them is that I quit caffeine cold turkey after drinking energy drinks almost daily since almost as long as I can remember. I noticed harm o thoughts and, since I didn't know what pure o was at the time, I once again jumped to the conclusion that I might be schizophrenic. But after learning about pure o a few weeks ago I have felt much better although I still have invasive thoughts a lot of the time. I am just wondering if I should see a psychologist about this as I've read a lot of reports that they weren't much help and also, in the past, I feel like I have managed to overcome these thoughts before. I also bought Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I'd love some advice or even just some kind words. I hope I didn't bore you to death with my rant/life story.