Should I bury or explore my ptsd

[Atlas]

I'm recently diagnosed w/ PTSD & I've had serious episodes of depression since I was 18. During a session w/my therapist it happen to come out that there was a man in my life that did very bad things to me. I think my trigger were the school shootings in December. I was just heart broken.
I started to have nite terrors & act out some things in my sleep. I was zoning out & didn't feel safe so I checked myself into stabilization unit. & that's all they did was stabilize w/ meds.
Now back w/ therapist & he wants to delve into the past. I don't. I don't c how it can help. The man is now dead. My past brings up other ugly stuff. Why would I wanto go
Thru that mess? Can't I just move on from here? I've dissociated myself from all those memories & boxed them up. I do that w/ my past. I don't see the benefit. Any help?

[Cuchculan]

If we box things up and lock them away they are still with us. On a subconscious level. That is what PTSD really is. Things we have never dealt with in the right way from our past. If you want to get better it is better to address the past and all that went on. It won't be easy. But you will be letting go of all that is inside of you. To box it up is just hiding it away to come back and bite you even harder at a time in the future. So I think, hard as it may be for you, it is best to work on your past issues and get them sorted out once and for all. Then you can maybe really move on with your life.