Not interested or asocial?

[LostinParadise]

So, for the past couple of months, I've had my chat box offline because there was a guy I was trying to avoid. I thought he was going to try to talk to me and I don't know why but I felt uncomfortable talking to him, awkward even. Today I turned my chat box on and at around 10pm, he messaged me. He flat out asked me out, asking for my number, making plans, telling me "holy 0100 ur beautiful. seriously.". I got pale, I started to shake and even started to cry. I felt like throwing up and hiding. I was talking with my friends and they were pressuring me to say yes and do it because it would be "good for me.". All I could think was somehow I was going to get date raped and such because of issues I have. I replied "maybe". Eventually when I calmed down somewhat I still didn't feel right. So, now I'm wondering if some one who is not bias to give me an opinion from an outside view, I am I just being asocial or am I not interested? I mean, I'd like to get to know the guy but I'm not ready for a date or even a social gathering yet.

[Bettie]

Welcome to the forum and first off, try and relax:) Try and look at being asked out as a positive thing and not something to get upset about unless there is something bad about this person (hence the reason you're avoiding him).

If he is a nice, normal guy and you reacted that way it seems that maybe you're not quite ready to date yet. Thank him for his interest in you and let him know that right now, you don't feel ready for a relationship. There is nothing wrong with that and it's not being asocial.

At the same time think about taking baby steps to get you ready for social gatherings, going on dates etc. If it is simply anxiety holding you back from meeting a guy that you are actually quite interested in meeting then it's important to work on that. We can't let anxiety rule everything in our lives and hold us back from having meaningful relationships in the future.

If you have a fear of being date raped that is something that needs to be addressed as dating in future is going to be very difficult for you. The vast majority of men you will meet will never even consider such a thing and when you do go on dates make sure it is with someone that you know (I wouldn't advise internet dating with strangers just yet) and in a public place you are comfortable in.