Glad that you found this site and felt comfortable in sharing your experience . . . please do not stop trying. I know that you have been through drugs and therapy, etc. and are frustrated and discouraged, but you do have glimmers of what will be (good weeks) . . . I don't have any quick fixes but I would suggest two ideas to consider:
1. Because your anxiety and depression (two sides of the same coin) is overwhelming from your perspective, do consider in-patient intensive treatment. Perhaps you need a program that is focused, intensive, and with more one-on-one intervention. You may be able to discover and resolve root triggers and develop more effective management techniques with some professional guidance (sometimes more effectively accomplished with a therapist/counselor than with a psychiatrist who may be more inclined to control symptoms with meds);
2. You seem to assume that you have done something "wrong" because your family is fed up with you. Please do not assume guilt. You are not asking to be depressed or anxiety-ridden and you are doing everything that the professionals have asked. I do know it is difficult for family members and friends to understand anxiety and depression if they have not experienced it. The best that I can say is to try and explain to them. If they are unwilling or do not understand, see if you can get them to talk with a counselor. Perhaps they are frustrated because they love you and do not know how to help you. Recovery from anxiety and depression is not a one-off event; it is a process and sometimes a long process that has speed bumps. Eventually, though, hope becomes a reality.
You are doing your best to be the dad and husband you were . . . right now, though, you need to heal yourself and your kids and wife need to know that they play an important role in helping you to recover . . .
Please, please, please, check in here as often as you would like and let us know how you are doing . . . your steps may be small at first, but they will become very powerful tools in your recover . . . take care and please do not hate life; hate anxiety and depression, but not life . . .take care, kc