Introduction

[penguin667]

Hello. I have been referred to this site by someone very close to me as a way to find support, meaning, and validity to my feelings of despair as of late. I have  always had issues with anxiety, and am admittedly a bit of a wallflower. I have always had my greatest strength in my family and those very few friends I have surrounding me-in particular my wife, whom I do love and cherish and have done so for almost ten years now.

Unfortunately, we all have our ups and downs, and certainly some of my behavior (which I shall not elaborate upon as of yet), has caused her through the years to grow farther and more distant. I have created a mess and have likely damaged and shook the very foundation of the person who has up until recently loved me unconditionally and been the most I could ever ask for. It came to my attention not so long ago that an online "friend" she had met while seeking someone or anyone to talk to had blossomed into something much more than friendship-but that she was indeed in love with him!
It seems largely impractical to myself, not that I know what up or down is anymore nor where I stand today to move forward and through this apart from her.

Anyhow, that is where I am at the moment...look forward to meeting good people and hearing what everyone has to say.

[camel]

Hello there, welcome to the site

Glad you found us. I know you will find plenty of information and support here.
Lots of people going through similar things here.

There is plenty to do around the forum as well as a great chat room (once you have 3 posts, and is for 18's and over only)


If you have any questions feel free to ask.

I look forward to seeing you around the site :-)

[Cuchculan]

Hello. I have been referred to this site by someone very close to me as a way to find support, meaning, and validity to my feelings of despair as of late. I have  always had issues with anxiety, and am admittedly a bit of a wallflower. I have always had my greatest strength in my family and those very few friends I have surrounding me-in particular my wife, whom I do love and cherish and have done so for almost ten years now.

Unfortunately, we all have our ups and downs, and certainly some of my behavior (which I shall not elaborate upon as of yet), has caused her through the years to grow farther and more distant. I have created a mess and have likely damaged and shook the very foundation of the person who has up until recently loved me unconditionally and been the most I could ever ask for. It came to my attention not so long ago that an online "friend" she had met while seeking someone or anyone to talk to had blossomed into something much more than friendship-but that she was indeed in love with him!
It seems largely impractical to myself, not that I know what up or down is anymore nor where I stand today to move forward and through this apart from her.

Anyhow, that is where I am at the moment...look forward to meeting good people and hearing what everyone has to say.

Well it seems like you still love this person. So rather than focus on what she did online, focus more on sorting the differences between you and her in real life. Net romances for the most part never work out. They end up with either one or both parties hurting. If it was me I can seriously say I would prefer it to be online. Rather than know the woman I still loved had met someone in my local area. The net normally means thousands of miles of distance between those involved. Some class it as cheating. But it is not the same as meeting someone at a local bar or a nite club. If a person is down, things going bad for them in a relationship, it can be nice to hear some nice words said to them online. It is like everything you want without the committment. You can spend forever focusing on the negative side of things. The other person she was involved with. The fact that she done what she done. But both will get you nowhere at all. Time to let it go and move on. Take a few steps forward. A few sreps towards trying to mend mistakes from the past. Talk to her. See can you both make things work out. You are there with her in person. Anybody else would have been thousands of miles away. So no real threat at all. So work on patching things up. Put all your efforts into that. And let go of this online thing she had. To keep thinking about it will only keep dragging you down. Which could end up ruining any chances you have of patching things up. I wish you the best of luck.

[penguin667]

Thanks for the nice words, and everything keeps looking up from here.