Not sure what it's called...

[Ohioman1972]

I have been discovering that I am not "just a nice guy". I have anxiety about people being upset with me, so I am a people-pleaser. I've sacrificed a lot of happiness to make sure people like me. I consciously know that I am lovable as I am, but I still (with a little recovery so far) have learned to do more things to make myself happy.
Now confrontation is a little different. Still have really bad anxiety about physical confrontations. I studied for years in martial arts, but that doesn't make a difference. Any loudmouth bozo can cause me to freeze up or want to run away.
I am not anxious in crowds or meeting new people. In fact, I really enjoy meeting new people. It's the people that I know that cause me anxiety...
It had caused problems in my marriage, my wife is a pretty controlling person but she has lost a lot of respect for me because she can walk all over me and she knows it. I am getting better, but I have a long way to go. This seems to fit in social anxiety... perhaps?

[Bamboo31]

From what you describe, I wouldn't define your situation as that of one suffering from social anxiety.  You have a people-pleasing personality, and with that comes a lot of unpleasant side effects.  It sounds as though you have a desire to explore your behavior and make positive changes.  Good for you! 

[Smoky Jo]

Not sure what to call it...how about.....need-to-please disease ?

The disease to please is a potent way to distract yourself from feeling,
a mask that covers pain—usually extreme pain. It hides your feelings
from others and from yourself. This very attempt to make yourself feel
better can put you in a constant state of tension, one that comes from
trying to detect others’ emotional states and how to respond.

Emptiness ensues.....when you try to please everyone else!

[Ohioman1972]

Thank you,
 
I am working on this. It isn't easy to conquer irrational fears... logic dictates they would be the easiest!