I feel worthless, hopeless and unfulfilled

[Mike1971]

My lament...

My life has seemed meaningless for the last few years. During the 0540 "boom", I started and ran a prosperous company for many years. I had big dreams, high ambitions and things were really buzzing around here.

Every morning I woke up feeling invigorated...ready to start the day. I'd put on a pot of coffee, put in a good 8 hours of FUN work and then sit back with a few beers and watch a movie in the evenings. Sometimes I'd order a pizza. If I woke up one day and decided to buy a new computer or a new car, it was no problem because the money was rolling in and the sky was the limit. Life seemed like one big party.

Than was then.

The "party" ended a few years ago, my ambitious dreams turned into distant, unfulfilled memories...replaced by a constant, nagging feeling of worthlesness, failure and unfulfillment. My days are boring and mundane now. I check my email, chat a bit and spend most of the day surfing aimlessly...accomplishing very little except just passing the hours away. I feel like a complete flop who has wasted the prime years of his life with nothing of any real substance to show for it.

I don't even enjoy the internet anymore. In fact I find it incredibly boring. Daily spam in my email,  depressing things on the news, lousy economy, gas prices, corporate corruption...on and on it goes. I don't even like waking up anymore to all of this .

Add to this my daily struggle with depression, poor circulation from sitting too much and dizzyness - to name only a few of my ailments and you have one very unhappy puppy trying to make his way through life. Of course, there are also people out there who were dealt a far worse hand in life that myself and my sympathies go out to them.

Today, I saw a pdoc for the first time in 4-5 months. I asked him a  lot of questions and his response was to simply refer me to another pdoc after telling me that he felt he would't actually be able to help me. 0534, am I THAT far gone? 

I guess I've run out of steam. Sometimes I wish I could just be put under general anesthesia and not wake up. Just drift off peacefully...no pain...no fear...how wonderful that must be.

- Thank's for listening

[twodogs]

During the 0540 "boom"

Well, I hate to tell you this but the "boom" ended a long time ago and a lot of people found themselves out of business or out of work. I realize that this may sound pretty obvious but your business going belly-up is more than likely what brought on your depression (I only say "likely" because I'm not a doc so I have to pretend to guess). Like you said, the "party" is over so you now have to move on to something else that you enjoy and do well.

You also have to not blame yourself (ie; the constant, nagging feeling of worthlesness, failure and unfulfillment). This was not your fault and it could have happened to anyone. If I were you I would get in to see someone and then try to find something else to do. I know it's easy for me to say but sitting around is'nt going to help your cause any and in fact, it will only make you feel worse. I know that sounds harsh but it's TRUE ;)

[z99]

you don't want something for somebody else unless you're in the same boat...think that's how the old quote goes....I can just say "ditto" to your feelings....when even the internet gets boring....it's bad

'life is just what you make it'...I'm trying to call back an older version of me, the one that 'picked myself up, dusted myself off and marched on' and remembered 'worse things have happened to nicer people' with out much luck...

well, maybe you can help me...the way I stumbled upon this site...talk about bloopers...the forum is for web HOSTS, and I was there looking for html help...

do you know anything about that?

 :-\

[apple]

Your life doesn't even have to dish you anything bad...I have the life I've always dreamed of...no struggles great husband and great kids, I have accomplished a lot .

I feel useless...don't have ambition life is boring and bland...Yet I can have a Moment(literally) AND DO OR SAY SOMETHING EXTRORDINAY that makes my kids or my husbands day, and they love me...I just wish that amazing person I AM would show up more often right now.   This useless lazy 0213$% is overpowering me and screwing up the life that is MINE!!!

[aorta]

Thought i would get in on the fun.
Ive had horrible sickness, pain for over two years and no end in sight. Barely change my clothes, cant stand waking up and cant stand going to bed at night.
Like Mike i too had a good business. For over 20 years. The sickness, pain, panic and depression along with the current
economy too care of that. Now i am behind in my bills wondering how i will ever pay them.
Like apple i have a great family. That should bring happiness, but now it brings more pain and guilt. Every night my daughter
prays and asks God to help me. She hasnt missed a night.
I try to fight this  thing, but i dont even know what it is and neither does anyone else. ive run out of things to try.
My wife now tries to go to bed early so she can keep working, rather than hear my depressing thoughts.
Ive seen many shrinks, therapists, doctors. The meds make me worse.
I was a very happy man. Surely there must be a devil.

[apple]

Aorta,
Did you check out my post "medication table-different kinds"  under the "medications and therapy" part of this forum??
Maybe you will see the meds you have tried...maybe they may all have been from the same catagory working on only one part of your brain. 
There are other meds that work on different parts of the brain.  When I found out all the meds I've taken over my life I realized they had two things in common:  1.  Didn't work
2.  same catagory   

If your tired of feeling this way and have had many meds this may help you find something that WILL work for you. :love:

[zippadap]

Hello,

I can totally relate to you.  Everyday I feel like I have no ambition, motivation, or drive for anything in life. I used to be so outgoing and social. Now I isolate myself, dont shower everyday, and I have no life. I am overweight  and feel stuck in  a vicious cycle of the repetitive boring, unhappy life I lead.  I am 38 with 3 grown kids. I started at 15.  I dont know what to do with me anymore. I havent taken care of me in years. Im lonely and am on my GIANT pitty pot, with that itty bitty shitty commitee in my head, talking all kinds of crap to me all day long. Anyways, on and on and on and on. 

If ya'll figure out the miracle way to rejuvinate my lifeless body, let me know.