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Author Topic: Tips for spouses that don't understand  (Read 2792 times)

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Offline TryN2Smyl

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Re: Tips for spouses that don't understand
« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2013, 12:11:11 PM »
NeedLove2013, I understand where you are at. I tried for years to get my husband back into therapy and back on meds. I finally called it quits. I knew at the end of the day, we were both better off. He is; now he is in therapy again. It hurts, though. I am not going back. I have that FU line, as a friend of mine puts it. Once crossed, it is a point of no return. Something can always rise like a phoenix from the ashes, but it will be some future time. He needs to be healthy for himself, not for me.
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Offline Jumbelly

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Re: Tips for spouses that DO understand, but still need occassional tips
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2014, 11:55:17 AM »
I wish this could be a new group. I have some useful advice as the spouse of someone with anxiety problems. But sometimes I could use advice from others.
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Offline orloveforme

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Re: Tips for spouses that don't understand
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2014, 03:02:07 AM »
Thank you for this. My GAD / HA has been having major effects on my relationship. The main problem is that its been bothering my SO when I talk about it, but he blows it off and acts like it has no effect. He explained to me recently that he was doing that to try and make me stop worrying. It was his way of trying to be sweet  :-*
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Offline tinker

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Re: Tips for spouses that don't understand
« Reply #18 on: September 05, 2014, 11:36:44 AM »
Jumbelly:  while it's not a new forum, please do add your advice - I would really appreciate some.  I'm trying to work through some very difficult relationship issues right now with a partner that will not seek help for GAD, or even talk about it.  I'm at a point where I don't know what else to try, and things are on a long slow decline.  I desperately need her to make an effort, but unless she does I can't see things improving.
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Offline linds007

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Re: Tips for spouses that don't understand
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2014, 04:00:23 AM »
This is all good advice, but what if you give your partner what it is that they need and they REFUSE to get ANY kind of help, and the abuse caused by the anxiety is detrimental to the relationship? What do you do for a person who desparately needs help, but refuses to get it?

I can totally understand this, although I am the one who refuses to get help :(
My partner says it all the time, why don't you love me enough to get help? Why do you let yourself be unhappy? Then he starts thinking he's not good enough to keep me because I "obviously don't care enough" to get help, and somehow he blames that on himself. It makes me feel terrible, but I understand where your partner is coming from. I don't seek out help because I feel embarrassed and stupid. I'm not sure what his problems are, but I am constantly plagued with the thought that my problems are dumb and psychologists have much better things to do than listen to my problems. I realize I may lose my partner but I just haven't been able to do it yet. I keep telling myself there's nothing wrong with me, but yet I know there is.
Unfortunately, I am selfish, and I think a lot of anxiety sufferers are too, not because they want to be but that's just how it is :( From your end though, I can see how enough is enough. I just wanted to share my feelings from the other side. Good luck!
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