new here...admitting out loud

[spmom5]

Or in writing ive got health anxiety.  Mom had 2 different kinds of cancer and died from NSClung cancer despite being healthy.  Dad is a crazy hypochondriac ...example upon hearing my dog had to get charcoal treatments for eating 2 bags of chock chips instead of concern he said "I sometimes eat too much chocolate.  Maybe I should go to the Dr."  Ok so we can all say we are not that bad.

Ive come a long way in that I don't go to the Dr for much anymore but I do lots of Internet searching.  Good news is that I keep it all to myself and I no longer do searching every day and I wont allow myself to do it if I don't have time.  Also I do it just for me and don't think about awful things drastically about my kids.  I am level headed about them.  Don't understand why that is but I'll take it.

Healthwise ive had 5 kids, a hysterectomy due to adenomyosis, a recent appendix out (that was an interesting argument with my husband where he thought it was stupid I was going to the er for this strange off and on right sided stomach ache up in my ribs...it was weird

[spmom5]

Hmmm cant seem to go back and modify on my kindle....

Finishing my intro.... I do lots of cancer browsing and am so ashamed when I feel happy that my concerns are validated by something actually being wrong...like the appendicitis. 

I do feel sick and fatigued a lot...more than from just having lots of kids...I don't go to des about it anymore though.  I don't go for anything that I know isn't concrete anymore.

I hope to get more control of this as time goes on. 

[Atlas]

I think I clicked on you bec you have "mom" in your name.  I've been wanting to talk to another mom for so long just about how to function w/a mental illness & raise children.  You have five & are still in one piece! Hats off to you.  You should be proud to raise that many children & still fighting your own issues.
I have had mental issues since I was 18 & I'm 43 now. Yikes! I had 10 great yrs of no symptoms, but still on meds. No crashes or episodes.  Now it's all back in full force.  What a bummer & this time I have 3 children to deal with.  8,5&3 yr olds.  I always dreaded this day & new it was inevitable.  Now I have trouble getting thru the day, the house is always trashed & I get so short tempered or sarcastic w/my kids.  They don't deserve it & I wonder how much damage I'm causing them. Husband is distant & distracted...his way of dealing.
So how do you deal w/all this stuff & still stay sane?
Thanks