I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering so badly. No one can understand the intensity of suffering that problems with a mood disorder can bring. I want to encourage you to continue with looking for ways to deal with your BPD. I am not sure about Australia, but in my town, groups are good. My psychiatrist said that she has never seen so much improvement in me since over the past year. I had been suffering from MDD for quite a while. Groups made the difference in my case. (They are not for everyone). I found that when I shared in a group and got into relapse prevention, viewing my depression as an illness that requires daily attention like my diabetes, I started to feel a little better as time went on. Getting better is not a sudden event, but much like a clock with an hour and minute hand. You can't actually see it move, but when you look back at it from time to time, you see that the hands are in fact moving. That is how recovery happens. Undetectable, until eventually you notice, "Hey, that used to really bother me, and now I seem to get through it easier!"
I believe that Wellbutrin XL had a bit of a w/d symptom for me, but I ran out of my script for Wellbutrin SR for four days, and felt fine. Got back on it asap as I have tried the med free thing, and it always takes me a couple of months to stabilize after making such a dumb decision. I also take Ativan, as I am absolutely sure that Anxiety precedes a major bout of depression. I was taking .5mg-1mg daily for about three years, stopped abruptly, and had no withdrawal symptoms. I feel that shutting down the anxiety in whatever way necessary (as long as I don't progressively increase my Ativan dose to achieve the same effect consistently) keeps me from having a lengthy depressive episode. Another symptom of depression is the "It will never get better, it will only get worse" or "I am ruining other people with my depression" or "other people my age are doing so much better" (I could go on) are typical statements that are not supportable with any real evidence. I choose to decline on accepting such thoughts, no matter how much my depressed mind chooses to believe them. (I like the song where the guy says "La, la, la, whatever!") I do increase Ativan for episodic Anxiety increases. I now have not taken Ativan for a few months, as my anxiety is on the down swing. I feel a direct connection between anxiety and depression. That is for me, nevertheless. Diet and exercise are always suggested, but my depression is quite beyond that. Hold off on the plans to harm yourself. You are plenty young. Seek for progressive improvement, rather than an immediate fix. This stuff takes time. Stay in the game, no breaks, and keep trying different stuff. The movie "The Bridge" (don't watch it) one individual who survived his jump said that immediately after clearing the railing, he changed his mind and wanted to live. A friend of mine who died by hanging on 6/18/2008 showed evidence of struggle to keep from dying after he hanged himself. He was a good friend of mine, but was stuck on the idea. He obviously changed his mind, as well. Since we have never died, we do not know if it is genuinely a release. However, these individuals who struggled to survive after starting the act make clear that it may not be the best idea after all.
Stick with it! You will get better! Others aren't affected as much as your mind may imagine. They can deal with it.