I've always sort of knew I had anxiety, but never really payed attention to it. All the signs were right in front of me. Shakiness, nausea, racing thoughts. I never thought it was anxiety.
2 years ago I was about to go back to school. It was the weekend before & I felt really nauseous. I wasn't really familiar with anxiety at the time so the thought that I was going to have a panic attack didn't occur to me. Later after that, I started thinking "Oh my God I'm sick. I'm gonna get sick & start school sick. Oh my God I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna ruin everybodys night." Then. I started crying. Of course by that time I was scared. That was my very first panic attack.
Same thing happened this year. School was about to start, everybody was excited & I was worried. My sister, mom & grandma were gonna come with me to go buy mine & my sisters supplies. Before that, we went to go eat lunch. I suddenly lost my appetite & felt really nauseous. I didn't panic, but I was on the verge of panicking.
So everything was fine after going to school & everything. But after this winter break, I had no idea what I was in store for.
We were about to go back to school this year for the 2nd semester. You know everybody gets nervous so i thought it was nerves. I had no idea I was anxious.
Later that week, I was in P.E & me & my friends were in the locker room getting ready for 7th period. All of a sudden, I felt my throat get dry, my stomach in a knot, & on the verge of throwing up. I left the locker room to go to the restroom. Nothing happened. I didn't know what was wrong with me so i just ignored it & went on with my day.
Then it continued mostly every week. I was so confused. I thought i was sick. I thought something wasn't right.
It was a Monday & I just remember being in my room. I started shaking. Racing thoughts came through my head. Then I started crying. I had no idea what was wrong with me.
My friend Mary eventually told me it was anxiety. It all made sense to me now.
I've been dealing with anxiety for about 3 months now. I wanted to share some of my story with you all too see if you have gone through this or too help some of you. Whether its 1 or 1000 of you that read this, I just want you too know I'm here for you & you're not alone. Were all in this together. Keep doing what you're doing. Smile. We've made it this far already.