Melanoma on bottom lip fear!!! Please help!!!

[oceanlover]

I am new here...it's honestly about time i joined! I have horrible, at times paralyzing, health anxiety.

My latest obsession is melanoma. When I was younger I was not so good about wearing sunblock. I have an olive complexion, dark hair and dark eyes...I just assumed that I would never have to worry about skin cancer. Well, now I obsess!

I have had two moles removed...both of which the doctor was not concerned about...the one that was taken off of my back was SLIGHTLY irregular in shape so the derm took it just to be safe. Anyway both of the moles were benign...the other one I made the derm remove b/c I was sure it was melanoma.

Just within in the past month I noticed a small dark spot on my lower lip (measuring 1mm). So it's definitely tiny...but I am convinced it's melanoma. I have googled like crazy and read all about how mucous membrane melanoma is much more aggressive and has a lower survival rate. Great. Freak out mode. I have been to two different derms this week. One who didn't look at it closely enough...in my opinion...and the other who looked at it with a little magnifying glass thing that had a light on it. Both derms are not concerned at all. I was placated by their opinions for about 48 hours...and now I am convinced it is melanoma again!! I swear it looks irregular in shape...especially if i flex my bottom lip a certain way or run my finger over it to kind of pull the skin in certain directions. I have been scratching at the skin like crazy just hoping it will peel off and i will be able to conclude that it was caused by the fact that i bite/pick at my lips all the time. Actually, it kind of did fade a bit a few weeks ago, and now it is easier to see again. I have a wonderful hubby who calls and makes appts for me when i freak out...and two beautiful girls. One who is 2 1/2 and the other 9 months. I myself am not afraid to die. I believe in Jesus. But the idea of my babies not remembering how much I love them, or my husband laying down in bed alone every night kills me! I just want to be here for them! Ironically, this stupid HA is already stealing me from them. I am so scared that this is melanoma on my lip and that it will kill me! Not to mention, i am also convinced i have diabetes. I have a problem with chronic yeast infections (2 years now) and when i first get out of bed in the morning it's like i am walking on pins and needles for my first couple of steps. I also get a few tingles/burning sensations throughout the day in my feet. Of course i would rather have diabetes than melanoma. Or maybe I have both. Gulp. Life with HA. :/

[oceanlover]

Any thoughts? I am swirling into a panic...I feel like I need to call my husband home from work...but that happens too often. Somebody, please...

[oceanlover]

Nobody? No point in me posting I guess...

[ceh1354]

I'm so sorry you haven't gotten a response yet!
You sound really scared; I feel badly for you. If 2 dermatologists have not been concerned about it, you have to take their opinions! I know it's part of what HA does, making us so scared that we cannot even believe doctors. But think of it this way: I don't know of any doctors(esp. 2) who would blow off something that could be serious and then get sued for being negligent. I know that sounds crass, but true.
Try not to pick at it though, I'm sure that doesn't make it any better.
I totally know where you're coming from about leaving your family. I went through a really bad time with that, thinking that my daughter wouldn't remember me if I died. You just have to get out of that mind set.
Have you taken any therapy at all? It could be very good for you with those kinds of intrusive thoughts.
Anyway, I hope you can start to feel better soon!! I think you maybe could mention the feet thing to your doctor if it keeps up. Maybe he'd have a solution or answer for you, but I do not think Diabetes is it, though.
Take care.
Christine

[Megg]

Hey Ocean, I'm sorry to hear about your skin cancer fear. I suffer from the same thing and I'm constantly worried about something. I have had about 10 biopsies done in the past year and sometimes they come back benign and sometimes they come back mildly or moderately atypical. Every single time I was convinced I had skin cancer. When I see my dermatologist I show her lots of moles and ask her lots of questions. I'm so fortunate she is patient with me. I was just there last week and showed her a mole on my leg that was dry and itchy at times, but wasn't dry or itchy when I went to see her (freak out alert right?). She is not concerned at all but I still am. I've ruined myself with google and doubt. I wonder if I forgot to tell her it was itchy or left out some other important details. In the end our brains just thrive on panic. I think we should focus on the medical experts being the experts. When I talk to my boyfriend about this he discusses his family's cancer history with me. In his experience if they are concerned at all they just do a biopsy. I am proof of that, and even then it's usually just them being cautious. If you saw 2 doctors and neither wanted to do a biopsy even "just to be safe" then it is probably ok to breath, try to relax and have some faith in their medical training. I know this is easier said than done, I'm trying to convince myself to let my issue go as we speak. Best of luck and if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here.

[trainwreck]

Ocean,

If 2 people who have had years of schooling and practice said it was nothing, it is nothing. Strangers on the internet arent going to be able to reassure you more than trained professionals.   One thing that people with HA forget is that doctors look at every patient as a potential lawsuit.  That is one reason the order so many unnecessary tests.  What you didnt get (and if you are in an obsessed state of mind, I don't know that it would have helped) was an explanation of WHY it is nothing. 

The spot isnt really the problem.  You by definition are a hypochondriac.  You have seen 2 doctors, yet refuse to believe the answers they gave you. 
So the problem is not with a spot on your lip.  It is with your thinking right now.  Think about seeing your GP and explaining this situation to them.  That is where your relief will come. 

[oceanlover]

Thank you all so much! I'm doing my best to not obsess today! Of course my leg has a weird sensation....I need to get back on my meds....I feel they helped a bit. I would probably benefit from therapy, too.

[trainwreck]

I need to get back on my meds....I feel they helped a bit. I would probably benefit from therapy, too.

Lexapro was the best chemo I have ever had.  It cured me of all of my diseases. 

[ceh1354]

Ditto that, Train. Mine was Effexor XR. There are lots that don't believe in meds, and that's fine too, but if it helps you "over the hump", I am all for it.

[oceanlover]

My doctor prescribed me Zoloft...b/c of breast feeding. She is also certain I am experiencing PPD. I have to agree...I was able to manage my anxiety quite well until the birth of our second girl 9 months ago. I was also given Xanax after my massive panic attack I had in August...I only take it when I feel like a panic attack is near...about once a month, maybe less...