I am new here...it's honestly about time i joined! I have horrible, at times paralyzing, health anxiety.
My latest obsession is melanoma. When I was younger I was not so good about wearing sunblock. I have an olive complexion, dark hair and dark eyes...I just assumed that I would never have to worry about skin cancer. Well, now I obsess!
I have had two moles removed...both of which the doctor was not concerned about...the one that was taken off of my back was SLIGHTLY irregular in shape so the derm took it just to be safe. Anyway both of the moles were benign...the other one I made the derm remove b/c I was sure it was melanoma.
Just within in the past month I noticed a small dark spot on my lower lip (measuring 1mm). So it's definitely tiny...but I am convinced it's melanoma. I have googled like crazy and read all about how mucous membrane melanoma is much more aggressive and has a lower survival rate. Great. Freak out mode. I have been to two different derms this week. One who didn't look at it closely enough...in my opinion...and the other who looked at it with a little magnifying glass thing that had a light on it. Both derms are not concerned at all. I was placated by their opinions for about 48 hours...and now I am convinced it is melanoma again!! I swear it looks irregular in shape...especially if i flex my bottom lip a certain way or run my finger over it to kind of pull the skin in certain directions. I have been scratching at the skin like crazy just hoping it will peel off and i will be able to conclude that it was caused by the fact that i bite/pick at my lips all the time. Actually, it kind of did fade a bit a few weeks ago, and now it is easier to see again.
I have a wonderful hubby who calls and makes appts for me when i freak out...and two beautiful girls. One who is 2 1/2 and the other 9 months. I myself am not afraid to die. I believe in Jesus. But the idea of my babies not remembering how much I love them, or my husband laying down in bed alone every night kills me! I just want to be here for them! Ironically, this stupid HA is already stealing me from them. I am so scared that this is melanoma on my lip and that it will kill me! Not to mention, i am also convinced i have diabetes. I have a problem with chronic yeast infections (2 years now) and when i first get out of bed in the morning it's like i am walking on pins and needles for my first couple of steps. I also get a few tingles/burning sensations throughout the day in my feet. Of course i would rather have diabetes than melanoma. Or maybe I have both. Gulp. Life with HA. :/