What am I feeling??

[Khadijah]

Hi all I pray you are well

I have been battling with the way I feel for around 6 monthes now, and it has slowly got worse. I read online about panic attacks and they don't quite sound what I feel like (sudden chest pains etc) but I shall post here and see if anyone has any insight

I have obsessive thoughts of death. I can't shift this feeling in my head that I'll have a heart attack or heart failure. It's never really anything else, mainly heart related. I don't have a reason for feeling like this, no chest pains or anything.
During the day time when I'm with others, the thought will come to my mind 'what If I die?' 'what if I have a heart attack right now?', then the thought goes away after some effort. Maybe because I'm busy and don't have chance to dwell on it.
At night, this is when it all starts.  when I get into bed the thought comes again, but because it's quiet and I'm alone, I can't shift the thought.
Then I start to panic, deep breathing, crying, shaking, and a 'butterfly' feeling in my chest like nervousness (palpitations?), that's the worst part of it.
I can feel like this for hours on end. Last night was until 4am. And I am still feeling the 'butterflys' in chest now the next afternoon and feel I keep taking deeper breaths still, I'm curled up in a ball

I often have this nervous feeling, and lately started getting pins and needles and a numb feeling in my left hand (all in my mind???!!)

I am feeling more stressed in my life at the moment, and I suffer with a underactive thyroid so not sure if this is playing a role.

2 nights ago I feel I had a panic attack, I felt dizzy and hot, faint, heart was pounding, left arm tingly and numb and kept coming in waves for around 2 hours.

Does anyone else feel this way 

[Alphyn]

Hi, Khadijah.

I know exactly how you feel. I have had all of these feelings during general anxiety and panic attacks. Not everyone is the same, so we're all bound to get different feelings and stuff, but that doesn't mean just because you don't have a symptom someone else had reported to feel doesn't mean you're not having the same thing. I don't get the butterfly feeling in my chest, for example, but that doesn't mean I still don't have the same panic attacks as you would.

So, in short, I absolutely know how you feel. So does everyone else here.

As for your obsessive thoughts - they feed off of your reactions, so to speak. Whenever a bad or disturbing thought comes to your head, the logical thing you automatically do is react to it. But the thoughts don't shift when you try to add logical reasoning to them. They go away a bit, but always come back, right? Well, what can you do?

You ignore them!

Don't give them the energy they crave. This will be difficult, but through practice, you'll get through it. Whenever a thought sends you into a panic attack, picture yourself as a solid, unbreakable rock. Nothing can touch, dent, chip or get to you. Find somewhere to sit down, listen to some music or watch something interesting, and let the thoughts pass. Try and not respond to any of them.

I hoped I helped you out, Khadijah. Be well!

[Jlo1019]

I could have wrote that post myself. During really bad anxiety attacks,  I could feel any number of those symptoms. However,  the biggest similarity are the obsessive thoughts. I wrestle with them daily. I even worry Im having premonitions of my death,  like a sixth sense. I always think "What if this my last Christmas"? or "Will this be the last time I kiss my children goodnight"? I do what you are saying as well,  worrying about dying at public venues and thinking in a crowd, "is this it"?

I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. Anxiety is an everyday battle.

[Khadijah]

I could have wrote that post myself. During really bad anxiety attacks,  I could feel any number of those symptoms. However,  the biggest similarity are the obsessive thoughts. I wrestle with them daily. I even worry Im having premonitions of my death,  like a sixth sense. I always think "What if this my last Christmas"? or "Will this be the last time I kiss my children goodnight"? I do what you are saying as well,  worrying about dying at public venues and thinking in a crowd, "is this it"?

I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. Anxiety is an everyday battle.

Woah yes I feel this too, 'will I wake up in the morning'... what are you doing to help you?

[Khadijah]

Hi, Khadijah.

I know exactly how you feel. I have had all of these feelings during general anxiety and panic attacks. Not everyone is the same, so we're all bound to get different feelings and stuff, but that doesn't mean just because you don't have a symptom someone else had reported to feel doesn't mean you're not having the same thing. I don't get the butterfly feeling in my chest, for example, but that doesn't mean I still don't have the same panic attacks as you would.

So, in short, I absolutely know how you feel. So does everyone else here.

As for your obsessive thoughts - they feed off of your reactions, so to speak. Whenever a bad or disturbing thought comes to your head, the logical thing you automatically do is react to it. But the thoughts don't shift when you try to add logical reasoning to them. They go away a bit, but always come back, right? Well, what can you do?

You ignore them!

Don't give them the energy they crave. This will be difficult, but through practice, you'll get through it. Whenever a thought sends you into a panic attack, picture yourself as a solid, unbreakable rock. Nothing can touch, dent, chip or get to you. Find somewhere to sit down, listen to some music or watch something interesting, and let the thoughts pass. Try and not respond to any of them.

I hoped I helped you out, Khadijah. Be well!

Hi! Thank you for your great reply, it has made me feel a little more at ease!
I know alot of people battle with thoughts and chest pain, thus a reason to have the thoughts.
I have no reason to feel this way!

The longer it is going on, the better I am feeling as I tell myself 'look.. I fear not waking up, so if I do..I shall tell myself next time the thought comes..that it was bullcrap!' XD this seems to be working a little.

As you say, about watching something or listening to something, but sometimes the thoughts are all day, so I sometimes can't change what I am doing to make the thoughts go away. I just have to fight through them.

What techniques do you use to battle with your anxiety?

[vanilla1969]

To be honest this anxiety stinks to hell, I just started having the subtle nervous/fear feeling this feeling feels like the feeling you get when you was a kid and in trouble or the feeling you get if you are doing something wrong and scared to get caught. I hate it and wish it would leave, I HATE the subtle fear feeling makes me feel like I'm going insane.

[Pippy187]

Wow, this post hits my feelings right on the head!!!  I often get the "what if" feelings... Ive tried to tell myself if it is the last one... better make it a good one.  I hate to always have the looming thought of doom, mine comes in waves... today i have the disrealization of things and im in my little brain fog, thus making me think what if I have rapid onset of dementia.... likely no... makes sense to an anxiety sufferer YES!  Well Im glad to read this post  I prey all of you are doing well today :)

[Khadijah]

Wow, this post hits my feelings right on the head!!!  I often get the "what if" feelings... Ive tried to tell myself if it is the last one... better make it a good one.  I hate to always have the looming thought of doom, mine comes in waves... today i have the disrealization of things and im in my little brain fog, thus making me think what if I have rapid onset of dementia.... likely no... makes sense to an anxiety sufferer YES!  Well Im glad to read this post  I prey all of you are doing well today :)

I get the 'what if's' but they are that strong that I am convinced they are coming true, they are more like 'It will happen today' and I just freak out all day. Worse when I am tired, and at night. During the day when out and about I feel great! Hate being at home because of this!

[Pippy187]

I find when the sun is going down I get funky feelings and when driving.... tonight I had impending doom feeling... hate it!!!