New here, but not new to Health Anxiety. Rational minds needed!

[Moebearocka1980]

Hello everyone,

Although I am new to these boards, I am not new to Health Anxiety. I had my first major bought of HA in 2004 (March-August). It all started with an obsession over a swollen lymph node on the back of my neck. I had the swollen node for years but for some reason in 2004 I couldn't get over the node being related to Lymphoma. After convincing my doctor to have the node removed - surprise, I found out that it was a normal reactive node. Just like my doctor thought it would be. After I got over the lymphoma scare, I went on to fears about various other cancers including stomach cancer and brain cancer. During this time I did a few sessions of CBT and choose not to take meds.

After years of being relatively HA free, I had a relapse in early 2008 when I was under a time of great stress. During this time I woke up one night with a burning pain in my arm. This progressed to the numbness, tingling, and twitches that oh so often accompany anxiety. After a negative EMG and numerous appointments with a Neurologist, I realized that I did not have MS or ALS. This time the HA only lasted for a month or so.

Since then I've been HA free again. I got pregnant with my daughter in 2009 and had a worry free pregnancy! Life was great. After having my daughter I dealt with some PPD and was put on a low dose (25mg's) of Zoloft. This helped keep my anxiety at bay for years. Until now.

In the middle of January I started getting bad gas pains under my ribcage. These pains coincided with a major flair up of by IBS. Although my rational mind knew the pains were probably related to the IBS, my irrational HA mind came out of nowhere and started worrying about various abdominal cancers. After a clear x-ray, ultrasound and CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis, I was able to get over my fears of pancreatic cancer, liver cancer, etc. Instead of moving on with my life, I went onto worrying about other things. I started getting the burning pain and numbness in my right arm again. The same feeling that I had in 2008 when I was stressed and had a pinched nerve. This time I went to Dr. Google and found out about a rare lung tumor that sometimes mirrors musketalskeletal pains (don't look it up!).  I sent myself into a tizzy! Went to the ER 4 times. Had 3 clean chest X-rays. This didn't bring me any solace because I read on Dr. Google that xrays sometimes miss tumors in this area of the lungs. Now I have strangely moved on from the lung cancer worries and am convinced that a mole in my lower back has changed and I now have metastasized melanoma in my body from the mole.

My ailments: aches and pains all over, random shooting pains, glands feel swollen (doc says they are not), spacey feeling in my head, numbness and tingling all over body, no appetite (i've lost 22 pounds in the last month and a half but i am dieting and overweight), fatigued, dry eyes, floaters, ibs acting up,

My background: 33, female, never smoked, occasional glass of wine, taken off Zoloft 2 weeks ago and put on Cymbalta - due to crazy side effects doctor took me off Cymbalta yesterday - managing with Xanax as needed for now.

Doctor thinks that I have fibromyalgia and anxiety causing all this. How does he know I have fibro and not cancer?!
Why do I feel like this even when I don't feel anxious if this is just anxiety?
Could my symptoms be anxiety related?

I need rational minds because I wake up everyday thinking that I am dying. It's freaking me out!

[Moebearocka1980]

Anyone? Any rational thoughts would be appreciated!

[msgb98]

I have Fibromyalgia.
Some of the symptoms sound like what I have gone through in the past.
I never had anxiety that was caused by fibromyalgia but from another issue and circumstances in my life.
There is also chronic fatigue that can cause some of the symptoms like you have mentioned.
I have Chronic fatigue as well.

[ceh1354]

Hi Moe,

I can sympathize with you and the feeling of doom each morning. I will try to talk rationally and make a couple suggestions. I'm by far not an expert on this all.

It sounds like you have had numerous medical tests and nothing has been found. One big clue that you KNOW this is HA is when you say "glands feel swollen, doc says they are not". When you feel things that are not there... Loss of appetite and IBS symptoms are huge in health anxiety, I know you know this as well. Personally have had both.

Your Dr. says he thinks you have Fibro. because you have symptoms of that, NOT symptoms of cancer. Even anxiety symptoms, from reading posts of others on here, can seem like Fibromyalgia. You may not even have that..

Suggest: there are tons of other anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds out there. Maybe try a different one. My experience was that I took Effexor XR twice and it was very helpful both times. Or maybe starting up therapy again may be just what you need.

Wishing you the best. Oh and one more: don't visit Dr. Google any more. You will feel a lot better just cutting that part out. Go on here instead. Good luck!

[Moebearocka1980]

I have Fibromyalgia.
Some of the symptoms sound like what I have gone through in the past.
I never had anxiety that was caused by fibromyalgia but from another issue and circumstances in my life.
There is also chronic fatigue that can cause some of the symptoms like you have mentioned.
I have Chronic fatigue as well.

Thanks for the reply! I have thought about CFS as well. I had a horrible case of Mono/Ep Barr about 6 months before I had my first major HA flare up in 2004. I actually feel like I've never been the same since my Ep. Barr/Mono diagnosis in 2004. It's hard for me to totally believe that I have fibro when I feel like cancer is ravaging my body. I physically feel so achey and tired. I have been through so many blood tests, etc. over the last month and a half. My ANA tested negative. My SED rate was normal. My thyroid levels are normal. They have basically ruled out lupus, RA, thyroid problems. I know that those are all conditions that fibro can mimic. I haven't had testing done for MS through yet other then a CT scan of my brain which was normal and doesn't show MS lesions anyway. I haven't had an MRI of my brain done since 2004 which showed nothing. I go to the Neuro tomorrow so hopefully they can help me get to the bottom of this. Fibro is a hard diagnosis for me to accept when I feel like I'm dying of the big C.

[Moebearocka1980]

Hi Moe,

I can sympathize with you and the feeling of doom each morning. I will try to talk rationally and make a couple suggestions. I'm by far not an expert on this all.

It sounds like you have had numerous medical tests and nothing has been found. One big clue that you KNOW this is HA is when you say "glands feel swollen, doc says they are not". When you feel things that are not there... Loss of appetite and IBS symptoms are huge in health anxiety, I know you know this as well. Personally have had both.

Your Dr. says he thinks you have Fibro. because you have symptoms of that, NOT symptoms of cancer. Even anxiety symptoms, from reading posts of others on here, can seem like Fibromyalgia. You may not even have that..

Suggest: there are tons of other anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds out there. Maybe try a different one. My experience was that I took Effexor XR twice and it was very helpful both times. Or maybe starting up therapy again may be just what you need.

Wishing you the best. Oh and one more: don't visit Dr. Google any more. You will feel a lot better just cutting that part out. Go on here instead. Good luck!

Thanks for your reply!

You are right about Dr. Google. I didn't go on him once yesterday and my anxiety felt a tiny bit better.

My PCP has been with me through all of my HA times throughout the years. He knows me and I feel understands me for the most part. There are times when I wish that he was a little quicker with giving me the tests that I want but my rational mind knows it's not good for my body to be put through unnecessary radiation from testing.

I know I should trust the fibro diagnosis it's just hard. Everytime I go see him he tells my that my symptoms are too wide spread and non-specific in nature to point in any one thing. I know that cancer doesn't usually crop up over night and then spread throughout your whole body in 4 weeks but that is what I feel has happened. I've continued to feel worse and worse over the last month. Every blood test, CT scan, Xray, etc. keeps coming back normal which is good. But then my mind goes to - they haven't checked everything. I have so many weird neurological symptoms (numbness, tingling, etc.) throughout my body coupled with the pain that I keep on thinking that something is wrong with my spine. They did a CT scan of my brain last week which was normal. But I don't know if CT scans show as much as MRI's.

What I do know is that I am driving myself crazy over here.

Thanks for the tips. I will continue to stay off Dr. Google (or will try really really hard!).

[msgb98]

I refuse to take medication for anxiety or anti depressants. I had some ill effects when I too something a few years ago. I took it as a last course of action. My doctor knows that I am medication phobic (partly because when I do take anything I turn out to be allergic to it but I als do l=not care for the side effects).
Perhaps do what I do and I do acupuncture and walking and talking to others. The worst thing for someone who has anxiety to do is to be alone. Pitty parties last a long time and you think too much. I have a large family so I reach out and touch (thru the phone email or actually physically going and seeing someone).
I have DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and I got panic attacks and anxiety when I hemorrhaged after being on blood thinners for 2 1/2 yrs. I was taken off them and I had to do blood thinning naturally. I now watch the vitamins I take and I make sure I drink enough water daily (about 72-88 ounces). Acupuncture helps.