Here for hope

[Ladyhansen]

Hello anyone and everyone,
    I don't know how best to start my story so I suppose I should just spit it out. I'm 28 and live near Melbourne in Australia. I'm married and have a 9 month old son. I have lived most of my life in California. I have bipolar disorder and have struggled with it since I was 12. I also struggle with understanding my emotions and I think this is why it has taken me all these years to address my anxiety. I'm here to read about the experiences of others and gain some hope.
   I am in such a low place at the moment. I'm hanging onto little hope of getting out of this situation. Since my son was born I've been hospitalised twice for mania and depression. It was in there, meeting other mothers battling anxiety, that I could finally put a name to the feelings that have been getting worse.
  "Shy" was the one word to describe me as a child. I've always dreaded social situations and talking to people. In school I would always turn red in the face and shake for reasons I never knew why. There is a history of constant fear of judgement and fear of things that could happen but logically probably won't. I feel trapped so much so that at times moving a single muscle is too much to handle.
  The anxiety is more intense than ever, probably due to hormones after the birth of my son. I barely leave the house unless absolutely necessary. If I were on my own this would be just another struggle that I could eventually handle. But I have a little boy who is missing out on playdates and classes. It isn't good for him and I don't want him to learn what I am inadvertently teaching him. I'm following another message board for post natal depression to pick up ideas on what to do in situations like this. But it doesn't cover anxiety.
 I'm hoping that between the two I can learn some strategies that have worked for others and turn that last bit of hope I have into something bigger.

Thanks for listening..

Ladyhansen

[EmmanuelGonzo]

nice to meet you,  i just joined the forums also.  You have a son?  Great!  I've never been married, or had a girlfriend, so I miss out on the chance of having a family.  Anxiety is a beast and although I'm not a great example, I know we can beat it.  I remember I didn't like leaving the house either.  On days I would force myself to go into a public place I wasn't used it, I would hyperventilating and feeling numb and nearly pass out.  I've gotten better at it, but I'm still bad.  One day at a time.

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.

All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.

[Ladyhansen]

You're right EmmanuelGonzo, one day at a time! I came here for help just as things were spiraling out of control and it is continuing. The good news is I'm likely going to an inpatient facility next week. If allowed I will surely be on here gaining inspiration.
I look forward to joining the chat room.

Thanks!

[Coolambindang]

Hi there lady,

I also have kids and I often worry about passing on my anxious feelings to them. My wife is currently in the hospital and I am the kids' primary care giver and I know I have seen signs in my 9 y.o. Daughter of her being anxious too. I feel horrible thinking that this is because of me, but I also realize that it also due to the fact that her mom is hospitalized. I think all we can do is try to hep ourselves overcome these feelings and she our kids we love life and want to live it to the fullest in a healthy way.

[Ladyhansen]

Coolamnindang, sorry to hear about your current situation. There are some great books out there for kids on dealing with emotions. I worked for many years in bookstores recommending books for parents to help their kids. There are great novels too that a librarian can guide you to. A psychologist can provide age appropriate techniques as well. That's my thinking anyway. Best of luck during this time.