Anxiety turned into bad depression

[Jules1963]

Hello , I started with anxiety and panic attacks a out 6 weeks ago while I was at work I was given Xanax first and referred to a psychiatrist who started me on remeron and Klonopin   I've still felt pretty crappy and would be jittery and exhausted every day. I have no appetite and I'm not sleeping well . I switched psychiatrists as I didn't like the first one and he wants me off the Klonopin. I've been weaning down but now I feel complete exhaustion, no motivation a d want to just stay in the house. I've been on remeron almost 5 weeks but I don't see improvement. I try to go out for a walk or drive at least on e a day but itslkke I'm in a fog. Everything seems unreal and I don't enjoy anything like I used to. My appetite is still poor and I've lost weight. Could I be feeling this way from tapering g off the Klonopin ? I'm still having anxiety and feel like my nerves are raw. It's so hard to get through each day

[Linz86]

Hi Jules I can relate to you in the sense that my anxiety led to depression. Ive always suffered from GAD but it has been tolerable for the most part until about 2 weeks ago. I was under a lot of stress for about a month with school until one day.. BAM! It was like I was unable to cope. I was fearful about everything, had to withdrawl from school and now Im just sitting here in complete panic about my future. Do u know what your anxiety and panic attacks stemmed from? It definately sounds like depression and yes it could also be from tapering off the meds.

[Jules1963]

Well i feel SO depressed today, I can't take it any more. Sitting here looking at a bottle of vodka and sleeping pills what to do. Im so scared

[tinam7]

First, I'm very sorry you are feeling so low. You are not alone and sometimes even that can be a help. There were plenty of times in my life when I did not want to go on. But we can NEVER do that to the people we leave behind.

Vodka and pills are a bad combination. I am a fierce fighter for a holistic approach. Gaining insight and understanding of the origins for the underlying problems goes a long way to diffusing their power over us. Maybe you want to put a call in to your doctor. Maybe you want to gather your strength and go out for a walk or a run. Then try and remember what gave you pleasure and satisfaction in your life. We tend to lose sight of the good and let the bad dominate. Here is smiling at you.

[mommabear]

Jules.....
Please don't do anything. I completely understand your frustration, and how you feel at this time, I promise. I've had depression for 20+ years, at times its unbearable. It takes time to heal. There is always going to be tough times.....bumps in the road, but I promise that there are a lot of good times too. You won't always feel like this. You just need to give yourself some time, be patient with yourself :) I've read that you are changing meds? They take time to work. Do you see a therapist or anything? Do you have family or friends you can talk to right now? I'm sorry you are feeling so low right now...... If you want you can always pm me, if I can be any help. Of course writing on here is good too. I hate to see others feeling like this. I can't give much advice, because I'm trying to get through this myself, but know you are not alone.

[howifeel]

Hey Jules. Sounds pretty bad. This is the same time of year that you had this similar thing happen. I know I sound like a broken record, but I am a strong advocate for attending a group (in conjunction with diet, exercise, meds, meditation etc). Any group for a mood disorder. You are on disability, worrying if your career is over and such. Remember, you may be able to return to work part time with SDI. NAMI or DBSA are groups that are in the area that may help. If you have social anxiety, don't accommodate it. Have your husband go with you to a group. Whatever it takes. Someone who was at risk for addiction to benzos would not be worried about it at the level that you indicate. Not all substance dependence leads to catastrophe. Doctors getting their CE's are being indoctrinated with the "benxzos are evil" nonsense. SSRI drug companies need to market their stuff somehow. This can be accomplished by demonizing benzos. If your dose of benzos does not increase, then you are not increasing tolerance. It is very common for anxiety to lead to depression. Treating anxiety is treating depression. You have pulled out of this before. The time of year may be a trigger. The anniversary of your original anxiety attack. That is normal. You will return to work. Your life is not over. Many many people have gone, and are going through what you are right now. Peripheral issues can also intensify things such as real or imagined financial insecurity, relationship issues, and maybe even alcohol dependence/abuse. Your life is marked by many successes, and you are not a failure. You have a lot of potential to improve. No breaks, no down time. Press forward with everything you have. Mornings always feel like crap when depressed and especially anxious. Waking up abnormally early, pacing the house in the middle of the night while everyone is asleep. Watching the terrible sun rise for another lousy day. Others know how you feel. Find them in your community. When you start to improve, share it with others. This may be a springboard into a new chapter of life.