period won't stop :(

[sassparella]

Well I have to say that while it may be my perception that the docs are dismissing me it does definitely feel like it to me.

I told the gynae my symptoms and he actually said something along the lines of - while it would be easy to say this is the start of menopause your blood results and lack of hot flushes during the day lead me to think that it's not. I can try you on some low dose hormones to see if it clears the sweats up but I don't expect it will -  He then sent a report to my GP saying he didn't think it was the beginnings of menopause hence the HIV and hepatitis tests my GP ran and I'm still waiting for the results on those.

As for the psych, he tends to dismiss a lot of things as he is mainly a drug dispenser and he lets the psychologist do the therapy. My psychologist basically said what you did Sixpack, that we all die, it's part of the cycle of life and I just have to accept it, then moved on to other things.

It does feel to me that my fear of death is the root of my problems, but my therapist aims her sessions at the HA and doesn't really seem to want to get to the root of everything, rather to try and give me tools to help deal with my HA which I'm not doing very well with at the moment. I do realise that I need to do a lot of the work, I just wish I could have a break in all of these symptoms so I could get my head around things a bit more, I find it very hard when I'm caught up in a blind panic to rationalise, though I also realise that we are never symptom free so I'll always have something.

[tinam7]

Am pleased to read we've arrived at an underlying truth: Fear of Death. "The truth will set you free" is what one shrink I've read maintains. I agree. What to do about Mr. Death? One way or another I've been playing cat and mouse with him all my life.

At this stage of my life, the End Stage, I'm worried only that He won't show up in a timely manner. But for all you youngsters who are in the middle of life, I can tell you that the way to triumph over Death is to live your life as fully, as eagerly, as courageously, as satisfactorily as possible. The best revenge is to live and without destructive HA tormenting you. Then, when the end comes, as it inevitably does for all, you will be at peace because you will know you've made the most of the time you had. You've lived your life.

[sixpack]

Well I have to say that while it may be my perception that the docs are dismissing me it does definitely feel like it to me. 

your perceptions are what color your reality.  your perceptions are what you and your therapists need to work on.

your doc, as has been said many times, is either a complete boob or is reacting to your perceptions of your health.  AGAIN for him to dismiss perimenopause is ludicrous.  that is the bottom line.  you can go over and over in your head that you are ill just like when you had the liver thing.  now you think you have about 8 things to worry over.   A person going through the same things you are doing now---a woman your age---would almost certainly attributed her issues to peri-menopause and not even gone to a doctor about it.

regarding the psychiatrist only dispensing meds and not doing therapy........ that IS what they do now.  they don't do therapy any more.  that is left to the psychologists.  IDK how you get to the "root" of fear of death.  I mean what is there to get to the root of?  we are all going to die and if we allow that eventuality to cloud our thinking continually, life is going to be dreadfully dreary.  we can live in fear of it and try to out run it, but it will all get us in the end. So what is the point of worrying over something we will NEVER, EVER change?    we can live our lives looking for the end or we can live our lives more joyfully any ole way...............    So, personally, i don't think your REAL issues is fear of death.  there is no "what if" that will change it.  you can accept it or not.   That is probably why the psy "dismisses" it.  If, indeed the doc is doing that.  Personally i don't think death is your real issue because you know it will happen and there is nothing you will be able to do about it.    But, hey, what do I know?

good luck...

[dancer67]

That is probably why the psy "dismisses" it.  If, indeed the doc is doing that.  Personally i don't think death is your real issue because you know it will happen and there is nothing you will be able to do about it.    But, hey, what do I know?

I thought I would try to answer this because I have the same "phobia". What you said about there is nothing you can do about it. THAT is the real issue. When people like myself are control freaks, we know we cannot control death, or not make it happen. We know in our minds it is inevitable. But we want to to control it. Accepting it means we have to say it IS going to happen. (We know it will). So this stems our HA even more. We feel the need for re-assurance that we are not going to die TODAY. Or even within the next week, from whatever health problem we might be facing(some of them real), But truthfully, nobody can tell you within 100% certainty you are 100% okay. And as someone with OCD stemmed with HA, we feel out of control. It is a box we have ourselves in. So no, I don't think it is really a phobia of death. It is more of the lack of control, and the phobia if the unknown. Which we all know as HA peeps, the unknown is the beastie in many of us.

[tinam7]

The control issue is interesting. It seems to me I've never been in control of anything in my life until actually now. My years on self-help sites liberated me. I feel in control now including apparently even of Mr. Death. By accepting the inevitable, by living as best I can, I feel I am disempowering Death.

What I mainly want to say is that we can do so much for ourselves by reconditioning our minds, relying less on others and much more on ourselves. Also, it is very nice to be through with that hormonal roller coaster, something to look forward to and not dread.

[oregoncoastlady]

I think most of us with HA have some fear of death in the sense that we are afraid that every disease we think we have is going to kill us. If we werent afraid of dying, would these pretend diseases we have really bother us? When i turned fifty a couple of years ago I started focusing on the death thing a lot. Not just the fear that my disease of the day would kill me, but the fact that my life was more than half over...unless I live to be a hundred, of course. What helps me is the fact that i don't believe this is all there is...that we continue to exist after this life. Then, life got crazy busy for me and i really haven't had time to torture myself with the negative thoughts.

Now, about what is going on with you, sass. When we go to the doctor over and over again with "symptoms," at some point they will feel the only thing left to do is start testing. If you just accepted the sweating at night as a non issue and hadn't pursued it with the doctor, he wouldn't be making an issue of it. Your fear that the sweating is being caused by cancer is what sends you running back to the doctor. Then the longer period has confirmed your suspicions. It must be cancer. There is no other explanation, right? Add to that, a gyne who dismisses menopause and orders other tests...and now you are on a downward spiral. It all started with the sweating. It's no different than when one of us gets stomach pains...then gas...then loose stools...then blood...we go to the doctor over and over again because anxiety cannot be causing these problems...we finally get the colonoscopy and there is nothing wrong. Had we addressed the anxiety at the stomach pain stage, it may not have gone any further.

If you can truly say that these night sweats  are soaking your pajamas and literally leaving you in a  puddle of sweat, then I think most of us would want to confirm the cause. But, if you are waking up damp, with sweat in the creases of your body and on your chest and forehead...not so sinister. I hope that once your tests are done, you will be able to put all of this behind you. I also hope that at some point you will find a gyne who is more knowledgeable when it comes to the aging female body.

[sassparella]

Now, about what is going on with you, sass. When we go to the doctor over and over again with "symptoms," at some point they will feel the only thing left to do is start testing. If you just accepted the sweating at night as a non issue and hadn't pursued it with the doctor, he wouldn't be making an issue of it. Your fear that the sweating is being caused by cancer is what sends you running back to the doctor. Then the longer period has confirmed your suspicions. It must be cancer. There is no other explanation, right? Add to that, a gyne who dismisses menopause and orders other tests...and now you are on a downward spiral. It all started with the sweating. It's no different than when one of us gets stomach pains...then gas...then loose stools...then blood...we go to the doctor over and over again because anxiety cannot be causing these problems...we finally get the colonoscopy and there is nothing wrong. Had we addressed the anxiety at the stomach pain stage, it may not have gone any further.

I did go about the night sweats initially yes, but I would have ended going anyway. As well as my night sweats, my last four or five periods have come at three weeks instead of four and this last period lasted 11 days fingers crossed it has stopped now. So i would have gone to the docs by now with my periods freaking like this. My gynae also said that perimenopause made your periods come later not earlier so he said that my earlier periods were not caused by impending menopause. I just don't know what to believe any more, everyone is telling me something different and I'm still locked in this terror of getting tests and waiting for results.


As an update my GP just rang and the HIV and Hepatitis B and C blood tests were all clear so at least that's something. It wasn't really possible that they would be positive given my history but there's still always that element of doubt. Now the pelvic ultrasound and the blood tests from my gynae to go.

[oregoncoastlady]

He said that period come later during perimenopause, NOT earlier????? Is he for real? Maybe he hasn't read a medical book in the past TWENTY YEARS! You MUST find another gyne! PLEASE! I am going to try to post a link here. It is an article in the Harvard Medical School publication about perimenopause. PLEASE read it. Perhaps your gyne should read it as well!

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Perimenopause_Rocky_road_to_menopause.htm

[sassparella]

He said that period come later during perimenopause, NOT earlier????? Is he for real? Maybe he hasn't read a medical book in the past TWENTY YEARS! You MUST find another gyne! PLEASE! I am going to try to post a link here. It is an article in the Harvard Medical School publication about perimenopause. PLEASE read it. Perhaps your gyne should read it as well!

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Perimenopause_Rocky_road_to_menopause.htm

Yes he said that. He asked me about the sweats and asked if I got hot flushes during the day I said I didn't and he said that this would be very unusual in pre menopause, he then asked about my periods and I said they'd been coming every three weeks for the last few, he again said this is unusual, normally periods were missed or came late with pre menopause. He then said that it would be easy to just put this all down to menopause but as my blood tests were normal and as I wasn't getting daytime hot flashes he didn't think my sweats were hormonal and he'd do a pelvic ultrasound to look at possible causes for the change in periods.

[oregoncoastlady]

Wow. He is very uninformed. Did you read the article? Please read it. It might help ease your mind a bit.

[sixpack]

sad that you are in such a state. sad that your doctor is partially at fault for getting you there. 

[sassparella]

Wow. He is very uninformed. Did you read the article? Please read it. It might help ease your mind a bit.

yes I did read it. It mentions irregular periods but not specifically coming early. Mine have been pretty regular just every three weeks instead of every four to five which they have always been and they've been getting longer this last one was 11 days. I know that I'm at the age for my hormones to be all over the place but I just don't know what to think. I can't really get another gynae at the moment, I don't really know how to be honest, it's just such a worry as this particular one seems to think there is something wrong with me causing all these problems.


Sixpack, I know I've got myself into a state, I'm just so scared this is going to be ovarian or uterine or cervical cancer, I'm even starting to worry about a brain tumour affecting my periods, I don't even know if that's possible. I'm dreading this ultrasound on Thursday even though I won't get any results for another week. I just wish all of this would stop and I could have a break and feel normal for a while.

[sixpack]

Sixpack, I know I've got myself into a state, I'm just so scared this is going to be ovarian or uterine or cervical cancer, I'm even starting to worry about a brain tumour affecting my periods, I don't even know if that's possible. I'm dreading this ultrasound on Thursday even though I won't get any results for another week. I just wish all of this would stop and I could have a break and feel normal for a while.

it would be great if wishing would do a darn bit of good.  but wishing on a star or throwing a coin into a fountain doesn't get what we want.     it is within you to have all of this stop.   Sass you are going to have to come to terms that you are ultimately responsible for whether or not things get better.  It won't come from repeat doc visits and med testing or us reassuring you over and over again.   I mean you don't digest any of it any ole way.....   


and, well, can brain tumor's cause probs with periods?  the brain controls the body, so yes it could.  but do you have a brain tumor?  Not any more or less a chance than you having cervical, uterine or ovarian cancer.   

[sixpack]

and sass, have you noticed that you are already setting yourself up for your next disease fear after your lady bits are cleared?   You and your anxious thinking are moving on up to the brain. 

BTW---my dad and sis didn't have nightsweats when they had brain tumors.

[annoyingwife21]

Here is another article talking about reasons for early menstrual cycles...none being cancer. http://www.livestrong.com/article/146570-causes-of-an-early-menstrual-period/...the article is taken from the site 34 Menopause Symptoms.

As sixpack as said to myself and other people you have to quit looking for constant reassurance...it's sooo hard but I promise if you can stop just one day not seeking it...it really helps a lot and you will notice that everyday your confidence in your health will slowly get better.

[sassparella]

Thank you all again. I know I have to stop looking for reassurance, but I'm finding it very difficult. I try to distract myself and reason and use the techniques my psychologist has given me but I just can't get the panic out of my head. It's there 24/7, well except when I'm asleep. I find myself looking forward to going to bed so I can sleep and get a break from it.

I'm just so sure they're going to find something wrong with me, I can't accept that it's just perimenopause, I know that rationally it's the most likely explanation but my HA won't let me accept that this could be the case, there's always that little voice of 'yeah but what if?" Also I have what my psychologist calls superstitious thinking I feel if I believe everything is going to be OK I'll tempt fate and it won't be so I have to keep worrying and thinking the worst. It's very hard to break this habit as I constantly think the worst will happen if I try and break it.

Thank you all for your kind words and trying to get through to me. I'm sorry that I'm not as receptive as I could be, I'm just in a complete and utter panic and nothing will ease it. Thursday, the day of my ultrasound is getting closer and I feel sick with worry, I'm also worried it's going to hurt having a vaginal ultrasound so I'm dreading it. I then have a whole week to wait for the results I really don't know how I'm going to make it through the next week and a half, I feel close to breaking point right now. But as I said I really appreciate all your kind words.

[oregoncoastlady]

 You made it through the liver ordeal, you'll make it through this.

[sixpack]

have you ever had a transvaginal ultrasound?

I have, a number of times.  It isn't  fun but isn't painful either.  It isn't that big of a deal.  It is, for sure, BETTER than having to have an ultrasound on the lady bits over the pelvic region with a full bladder, that is for sure.

[sassparella]

Thanks Sixpack, hopefully it won't be painful then :)

I'm shaking with fear today about getting it done I just really hope they don't find anything bad.

[ceh1354]

Thank you all again. I know I have to stop looking for reassurance, but I'm finding it very difficult. I try to distract myself and reason and use the techniques my psychologist has given me but I just can't get the panic out of my head. It's there 24/7, well except when I'm asleep. I find myself looking forward to going to bed so I can sleep and get a break from it.

I'm just so sure they're going to find something wrong with me, I can't accept that it's just perimenopause, I know that rationally it's the most likely explanation but my HA won't let me accept that this could be the case, there's always that little voice of 'yeah but what if?" Also I have what my psychologist calls superstitious thinking I feel if I believe everything is going to be OK I'll tempt fate and it won't be so I have to keep worrying and thinking the worst. It's very hard to break this habit as I constantly think the worst will happen if I try and break it.

Thank you all for your kind words and trying to get through to me. I'm sorry that I'm not as receptive as I could be, I'm just in a complete and utter panic and nothing will ease it. Thursday, the day of my ultrasound is getting closer and I feel sick with worry, I'm also worried it's going to hurt having a vaginal ultrasound so I'm dreading it. I then have a whole week to wait for the results I really don't know how I'm going to make it through the next week and a half, I feel close to breaking point right now. But as I said I really appreciate all your kind words.

I just want to say that I relate to this on every level. I was in this state last week, no matter what I did, I couldn't shake the fear, not even reading and listening to scripture, and I feel ashamed about that. So I really know what you are going through.
All I can say is that you will make it, it will get here before you know it and I'm sure it will be good news. Sorry I'm not of more help, but wanted to say I understand.

[sixpack]

Thanks Sixpack, hopefully it won't be painful then :)

I'm shaking with fear today about getting it done I just really hope they don't find anything bad.

you'll do fine.

[br350]

Sass, can you update as to what happened with your ultrasound?  I am experiencing something similar (regular period, then petered out and now spotting off/on and on day 16).  I do think this sounds hormonally driven.  I am curious what the final analysis was from your doctor.  I'm sure all is well. 

[Gizelle]

This is my first post here (I have been reading for ages). I just wanted to add that HA coupled with perimenopause made me feel like doing ANYTHING to make it stop. My last period lasted 5 months.  It only ended because that was the day I had my hysterectomy.

Of course, as someone mentioned upthread, once the specter of uterine, ovarian cancer ends, your mind starts looking to the other body parts for something to fear.

I'm here today (on this board) because I am so steeped in health anxiety I read anti-medication boards that convinced me my SSRI was dangerous to my health. So, like an idiot, I weaned off.And that, of course, meant a return to depression/anxiety which is far worse for my health.

I also project my fears. Any symptom, any test, any check-up for me OR my family and I am thrown into a deep pit.

I am waiting for my anti-depressant to reach therapeutic levels and about to have my husband block my internet access. Of course I won't be able to visit this site, but I won't be able to google a hundred symptoms a month for me or my family.

When I am off my medication (this is the second time) I feel old, lost, lonely and terrified.  But as a 20something I remember feeling old, lost, lonely and terrified. It is the tricks of the brain. I DID feel good on medication/after the hysterectomy IF I stopped reading the boards that told me hysterectomy is a terrible mistake.

It wasn't a mistake for me. It took away two of my greatest "cancer sites" but more importantly meant an end to the bleeding that kept me housebound and the endless tests and procedures.

One thing a nurse friend assured me was that you can be deep into perimenopause & the blood tests will say you're not. They fluctuate wildly.

Sorry if I hijacked your thread. I remember the endless periods and how they frightened me. Please don't gooogle. The what ifs? were worse than having to wash my sheets every frickin day.

[Calamy]

My mom didn't have her last period until she was 59, the same age as her mother. She told me the last one was extreme with bleeding and pain but then boom, never had one again, and didn't even have menopause symptoms like many describe. I hope I don't go through menopause til late like she did, but I don't know if it works like that (though I read somewhere usually you go through it around the time your mom did).

I'm thinking stress can throw your period off a bit. Also I had WONKY periods in my 20's -- I'd have light period for days and days, then normal, then lots of spotting, then missed ones. I have some cysts in my ovaries and a few times the cysts burst, too (EXTREMELY painful).

Is anything going on in your life that is upsetting you or could be an underlying worry, fear, or stress? This can absolutely mess with your period.

[sassparella]

Sass, can you update as to what happened with your ultrasound?  I am experiencing something similar (regular period, then petered out and now spotting off/on and on day 16).  I do think this sounds hormonally driven.  I am curious what the final analysis was from your doctor.  I'm sure all is well. 

my ultrasound was OK but my endometrium was quite thick so the gynae said he couldn't tell if i had uterine cancer or not the only way to tell was a biopsy but he didn't feel I needed one. I'm seeing him again in six months to see how I'm going but he thinks it could just be my age. I'm getting more hormone tests done in six months to check them out again.