Still conscious of my damn breathing...

[AbnormallyAnxious]

This is REALLY frustrating. It's been 4 months and I've been totally conscious of my breathing (manually breathing) every day for 4 whole months.. I want to scream.. I want to cry.. The only place where I forget about my breathing and don't have to manually breath is in my dreams. Sometimes I just want to die so I can go to heaven (if there is one) and be like every normal person.. :'( without this really complex situation I'm in right now... I want to break something from this anger and fear and it all feels so unfair!!  5 months ago I was happy, felt sooo healthy and light and active and even if I did realize my breathing that would only last for a couple minutes max and I'd end up breathing automatically in no time at all without even realizing. I miss that life I miss the old me I'm tired of manually breathing and I feel that this will keep going for the rest of my life until the day I die.... I really, really don't know what to do..... 

I'm also really worried that the part of my brain that tells my body it's time to breath won't even function in the long run due to me not letting it do its job normally like everyone else's brain. Like when I'm always manually breathing I'm doing a job a part of my brain should be doing and maybe in the long run it'll get used to that and that part of my brain won't even function/activate anymore and I'll be stick with manually breathing for the rest of my life... how will I even sleep?

[coeus]

Hey there,

Really unfortunate to hear that you've been anxious about your breathing. Having anxiety tends to cause shallow breathing (which is completely normal for the condition and nothing dangerous). You sound like you've almost given up; don't though - there are definitely ways of being able to manage your anxiety and better regulating your breathing so that it doesn't cause any further problems.

Based on your other thread about seeing a counsellor, has she/he provided any tips on how to deal with your anxiety? Anything on how to recognise the symptoms of anxiety? Are you still considering therapy?

Here's a few quick tips on using mindfulness to settle your anxiety by following the breath, rather than be fearful about the breath - http://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/mindfulness-exercises/4-step-mindfulness-exercise-for-anxiety

Give it some time and encourage yourself to see the symptoms differently rather than constantly fighting it for the long-run.

Hope this helps.

[AbnormallyAnxious]

What do you mean so that it doesn't cause any further problems? What problems could it cause?

My counselor tells me to belly breath and to get engaged in an activity; that doesn't help me...
 And you're asking if I'm still considering therapy, isn't a counselor a therapist?

[coeus]

Hi,

Further problems such as overly focusing on the breath and constantly monitoring your breath. Not physical problems. If you do a quick search on CBT, you'll understand how thoughts and feelings can potentially heighten your anxiety further.

Counselling and therapy tend to be used interchangeably (as I mentioned in one of your other threads) but therapy is commonly seen to be overseen by a highly qualified clinical psychologist. A counsellor may only have an undergraduate psychology degree and is not accredited by any psychological professional bodies.

[Bamboo31]

I am so sorry you are struggling.  Something most people don't even give a moment's thought about-BREATHING can be a major issue for us.  I have gone for maybe a week, off and on, where where I have been aware of my breathing and felt as though I was unable to take a deep enough breath, but it passed on its own.  Four months is a long time.

When I have had breathing issues, the only relief I would get was when I was exercising.  I always seem to come back to exercise, but it is a helpful tool in coping with anxiety.  When you are engaging in cardio exercise, it's hard to think about anything other than the act itself.  If you are running, you think of one foot in front of the other, or getting past a certain landamark.  It's different when you are sitting or lying in bed; you are aware of every breath, the amount you are inhaling and exhaling...When you are exercising, you don't really have control; your body's needs simply take over.

If you don't exercise now, start with a brisk walk.  It may help you get a handle on this.  You could even try a Pilates class, where the instructor's cues dictate your breathing.  It's worth a try.

Good luck!   

[alexthegreat98]

Swim...get into the lap lane and swim front crawl. Turn you head to your side, take a breath, and blow the air out when you put your face in the water. If you are living your life in manual...it's time to put your breathing in gear. Swim hard and long....I promise you by the end you will be breathing in automatic. If you go home that night and the same 0103 is happening...then keep practicing.

I suffer from Anxiety....exercise will help with your breathing.

[carl_underneath]

I've noticed that if I'm sitting around nothing, it goes away. If i'm focusing on TV or a Movie, it goes away, but if I walk or am talking to someone, i become more focused on it. It's really strange, but I think we're okay.

[AbnormallyAnxious]

I take long walks, too; but nothing is helping me to breath automatically........ 

I want to explode.

[floridaguy65]

5 months ago I was happy, felt sooo healthy and light and active and even if I did realize my breathing that would only last for a couple minutes max and I'd end up breathing automatically in no time at all without even realizing.

There is no obvious reason why you can't return to the above, is there? There is no diagnosed physical issue, correct?

That said, I know that hyper-anxiety can wreak havoc upon our breathing, often. We fixate and then respond. And, too often, our response is NOT an action or habit that can help us in our situation. I'm not saying we don't try - we do. I'm saying that we tend to fall back into feelings of, "This is NEVER gonna stop!", "Why won't it stop!", "What in the hell is going on!", "Why me, why me!". And, then those intrusive thoughts can tend to derail us from following through with good, quality, longterm actions and habits that can, eventually, bring us some better lasting peace, likely. These were my patterns of reaction for a long time, back when I struggled mightily.

As mentioned, exercise is vital. It is crucial for all anxiety peeps, IMHO. Good for all people, but VITAL for HA / AD folks. This is more than walking (though that is great:). We have to tax our bodies to get things pumping and huffing and puffing and moving and stretching and pushing and pulling. Our bodies are NOT gonna fail us. We are not gonna quit breathing because we are fixated on it....we are not gonna blow up from the pressure we can feel in our chest:)

It can suck, I know. You can learn measures that, once embraced and practiced, have been shown to really offer up help in our breathing. Despite what we feel when really amped, deep diaphrgmatic breathing CAN become almost natural in its presence. It is pretty much a learned exercise (especially for anxiety peeps), but it can become intrinsic and it can become available to you in almost ALL instances:)

What's going on right now in your anxiety help? Self-help?

There is always help and hope. But, most often, we just can't HOPE our breathng self-corrects and sticks around being deep and full and fulfillling without practice, at least in the beginning:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[abtcup]

Exercise...it'll regulate your breathing. As a cyclist I find that when I ride...all focus on my breathing goes away. I eventually focus on how blown my legs are on a long climb.

[LindaRK]

You are just in a bad place right now and your brain has chosen to focus on that and nothing else.

I've been where you are - last year, in fact.  As long as I've had anxiety, it was pretty dang bad, I'll tell you that!!!  I couldn't help but focusing on it all the time - 24/7.  But you know what?  I got moving - kept myself engaged in physical and mental stimulus and well, I guess it eventually went away.  I can't tell you when, but I sure don't have that problem now!

[coeus]

Couldn't agree more with LindaRK - "your brain has chosen to focus on that and nothing else."

The more we monitor vigilantly and incessantly what our body is doing, the more we struggle. The intent is to again build a better and gentle relationship with how our body acts, not to fear those sensations. Takes patience to do that but it will come naturally. Good luck.

[Jlo1019]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much. The more you focus on it,  the more power we give our anxiety. I hope some deep belly breathing will help and some focus on other things. Take care and you will get past this!

[groovy]

I think the issue here is that she is not how she breaths but the fact that she is CONSCIOUS of her breathing.

I've experienced this EXACT kind of anxiety for 2 months. First of all, you have to trust your body and what it is capable of. Your body is programmed to be able to auto breath and not a single person in human history that has ever died because they forgot how to breath. Second, the reason why you are too conscious about your breathing is because YOU FEAR that you will always have to manually breath (if that makes sense). See, this is how anxiety works.... it will always do exactly the opposite of what you want it to do. The fact that the "fear of manual breathing" exist in your head will result into you always thinking about your conscious breathing. The way to get rid of this fear is basically to NOT FEAR the FEAR(of manually breathing). Normal people would have this thought once in awhile, but how come they can shake it off quickly? Thats because they dont FEAR IT. They are not feeding into the thought, they are not putting importance to the thought. To them, its just a random thought that will jus pass by and soon enough, they will continue into their lives just like that.... just because they dont FEAR it. The reason you started to fear it in the beginning is because you put so much emotion, so much thought/or feedback to it... thats why it sticks around for soooo long,because you gave so much "importance" to it to the point its hard to shake it off.

The way to get rid of this is to simply "ignore" it. When I mean by ignore it, I meant by once the thought or reminder that you have to manually breath pops in your head, jus dont analyze it, dont question it, dont overthink it.Let it pass by your head. Just carry on to whatever you are doing. It may feel very uncomfortable for awhile, it may even give you more anxiety by doing this (its part of the process) but as long as you keep ignoring the thought and just pretend to go on with your life...this way you are "getting rid" of the severity of the fear, and one day this fear will eventually go away.

You gotta trust your body when it comes to auto breathing. You will not die of manual breathing. As long as you don't give your fear any more "power", it will lose its importance.

[Wheat_Thins]

Cover left nostril --> inhale--->uncover left nostil and cover right nostril--->exhale---->inhale->>uncover right and cover left---->> exhale
repeat

slow deep breathes

[AbnormallyAnxious]

Thanks for your post groovy. I can really feel what you're saying. You're absolutely right, I truly fear that this manual breathing will go on for the rest of my life, and I can see a connection with my situation and my fear. It's like being afraid of embarrassing yourself, usually it's when you're all careful with your actions and words that you do something completely retarded. Likewise, when you be yourself there's less complications.

But you see, it's not that easy.. How can I just stop fearing something? Something I've feared for so long? Some fears go away, usually the ones that are faced and then over with, but this is different; I'm living my fear right now, and it seems never-ending.. And I'm trying to get out of it, which makes it even more hard.. I find when I try to forget about it, I get even more anxious and scared and in my mind's like 'mwahahahaha, you'll NEVER get rid of meee!!' So I find that when I try to get rid of it, I'm a total mess. And when I'm just like 'meh...  let it be..' same deal =\.

Plus, it was probably easier for you because you started doing what you needed to do before your mind got used to that manual breathing. Only after 2 months. Look at me, I'm gonna hit 5 months soon... then 6 (half a year), then a year, then.. then...  I seriously want to cry. No one in my household even knows, I'm just suffering alone. What's the point of telling them anyway, no one's ever had this.. I'm the only weirdo with mental problems . And they wouldn't be able to do anything except laugh! I feel so different, so stressed, so nauseated. I want to throw up . This is so unfair..

[LindaRK]

I really, really, really think you need to get up and moving - do something to engage your brain where you aren't thinking about this so much.  I had this for a LONG time - well in excess of 6 months.  I kept obsessing over it, too, just like you ...... but then I decided to just try and stop centering my world on it and put my mind elsewhere.  Once that happened, I was okay and I couldn't even tell you when the whole mess stopped! :-)

[AbnormallyAnxious]

How long did you have it for? And when/how did it stop? Did you have moments where you realized you had been breathing automatically all of a sudden but then later on resumed the manual breathing or did it just go away all together?

[groovy]

Well you have to realized how anxiety works first and foremost. First of all, you have to realized what you fear right now is self created..you created this fear and that it got into this "snow ball effect" to the point its really hard to brush it off and that you are constantly "thinking"about it. I'm pretty sure prior to you having this fear, you have thought about your breathing before..went manually breathing for couple seconds..then poof, its gone. Why? because you didn't fear it at that time. Second, anxiety affects the subconscious mind. Once you are on your recovery phase, at times you'd feel anxious for no reason, or you don't feel anxious yet you still have these thoughts/symptoms etc. going on.

You have to understand, when you start facing your fear you can it can possibly gets worse. When I decided to face this fear, the first thing happened is my anxiety shoot up the roof. WHy? because we're stepping out of our "comfort" zones. I mean, we are facing our fears. But this is where you have to start trusting your logics/rational thinking. I mean put yourself in a third person perspective, you would think its a pretty silly fear right? Im sure if someone says "I fear the word "cookie" when I hear it" you would think its silly, but to that person its not. Even if I was going thru this manual breathing fear, I myself think its a pretty silly fear.. but why the heck I cant shake it off?? Thats when you have to rationalize to yourself that this is silly thing and this is all caused by anxiety alone. You have to be persistent. No matter how bad your anxiety, thoughts, symptoms what have you... you got to just simply ignore them. No matter what. Eventually, its going to lessen down as far as how often you think of it, and then eventually youd forget about it. Everytime you get a thought or an anxiety feeling, or even "what if" questions in your head.... just think "This is ALL anxiety". Just keep yourself going, keep yourself busy. Don't analyze ANYTHING. The objective is getting rid of the "importance" of the fear... making it less meaningful. Because if something means nothing, the mind will ignore it. Obviously this escalated to a 24/7 fear because of how much you put into it. Make sense?

Another thing, don't beat yourself down because how long you had this fear? Who cares? past is the past. What difference does it make if you thought bout it more yesterday than the other day? You live by the moment. Don't even look at the future or how long its going to last, we are not there yet. So you cant assume anything. Live by the moment... thats the very important thing. So don't feel so down on how long you've had it, its just giving the anxiety more power.

[AbnormallyAnxious]

Well you have to realized how anxiety works first and foremost. First of all, you have to realized what you fear right now is self created..you created this fear and that it got into this "snow ball effect" to the point its really hard to brush it off and that you are constantly "thinking"about it. I'm pretty sure prior to you having this fear, you have thought about your breathing before..went manually breathing for couple seconds..then poof, its gone. Why? because you didn't fear it at that time. Second, anxiety affects the subconscious mind. Once you are on your recovery phase, at times you'd feel anxious for no reason, or you don't feel anxious yet you still have these thoughts/symptoms etc. going on.

Yea, I've had moments in the past where I'd just suddenly think of my breathing and then have to breath manually for a while, but that didn't last more than half an hour max. Look at me now; April is my 6th month of manually breathing. This is insane. :\
What did you mean by 'Once you're on your recovery phase'?

You have to understand, when you start facing your fear you can it can possibly gets worse. When I decided to face this fear, the first thing happened is my anxiety shoot up the roof. WHy? because we're stepping out of our "comfort" zones. I mean, we are facing our fears. But this is where you have to start trusting your logics/rational thinking. I mean put yourself in a third person perspective, you would think its a pretty silly fear right? Im sure if someone says "I fear the word "cookie" when I hear it" you would think its silly, but to that person its not. Even if I was going thru this manual breathing fear, I myself think its a pretty silly fear.. but why the heck I cant shake it off?? Thats when you have to rationalize to yourself that this is silly thing and this is all caused by anxiety alone. You have to be persistent. No matter how bad your anxiety, thoughts, symptoms what have you... you got to just simply ignore them. No matter what. Eventually, its going to lessen down as far as how often you think of it, and then eventually youd forget about it. Everytime you get a thought or an anxiety feeling, or even "what if" questions in your head.... just think "This is ALL anxiety". Just keep yourself going, keep yourself busy. Don't analyze ANYTHING. The objective is getting rid of the "importance" of the fear... making it less meaningful. Because if something means nothing, the mind will ignore it. Obviously this escalated to a 24/7 fear because of how much you put into it. Make sense

Well, the word 'cookie' and being aware of your breathing is totally different. Fearing the word cookie is pretty ridiculous compared to when you find yourself living your fear and in a very uncomfortable state for a very long time (manually breathing as long as I'm awake.) Something I hoped would never happen to me.

Another thing, don't beat yourself down because how long you had this fear? Who cares? past is the past. What difference does it make if you thought bout it more yesterday than the other day? You live by the moment. Don't even look at the future or how long its going to last, we are not there yet. So you cant assume anything. Live by the moment... thats the very important thing. So don't feel so down on how long you've had it, its just giving the anxiety more power.

I care because; the longer you have something, the harder it is to get rid of it..

[_rai]

I was like that too but now I am okay.
Just relax and be happy, pray to God.
eat fruits and veggies..

[_rai]

*sighs* I hate to say this but.. recently I have been okay.. but now
it is back. I can't breath properly again.. I easily get stressed out.
but i know it will pass I just have to keep praying..

[_rai]

I will pray for you too.. We all know it will pass..

[Edenatetheapple]

I had this at the very beginning of my anxiety......what helped me Was the five four three two one, cbt . Its where you look for five things, list what they are, then five sounds, then five sences etc.......and count down......then, I worked on other things like walking, jogging, or dancing......Iam far from being free from anxiety, but I am free from that part of it......

[AbnormallyAnxious]

@rai, it is difficult for me to be happy.. I am depressed most of the time.  And you said it will pass; the way I see it, it never will. Why's it taking so long? Why is it this complex? There must be something more to it; something more complicated. Thanks for praying for me.. I too hope there is hope :\.

@Eden, what is this five four three two one cbt thing? Could it possible help me to breath automatically?