It's been suggested...

[amanda812]

It's been suggested by one treatment provider that I could be affected by PTSD, stemming from my voluntary adoption placement of my newborn son 18 months ago. I planned it, and currently participate in a semi-open adoption and it's "all good". I saw a birthmother counselor for about a year, prior to and after the birth and placement. I also have another therapist since I have moved and I don't feel like it's a "downer" or sad aspect of my life. I turned it into good, and used my "new start" to go back to school, am getting married soon, etc... But I have had a drastically marked increase in anxiety symptoms, and panic symptoms since the pregnancy, birth, placement, all which was quite... chaotic. To say the least. Is it possible for something like this to cause a PTSD, even though I don't necessarily have issues with it anymore? I'm okay with other people's babies (enjoy babysitting), and I hardly dream about it anymore. I used to have dreams that I gave birth to a hampster, something small that I could take care of. Or I'd dream that the pregnancy came from incest. (It didn't.) Or the horrible reoccuring dream that I went to visit him (which isn't part of my adoption) and I babysat him and LOST HIM. ugh... But I don't have those dreams anymore. I have a good relationship with them. I am happy about it all. My symptoms are now manageable, but only after numerous med increases, and I'm maxxed-out on Effexor.

I know that adoption isn't necessarily a "natural thing", it's like my body wasn't programmed to deal with giving birth and then not mothering. I don't need a label or a diagnoses, I know what my mind is doing, I'm just wondering the depth of PTSD, and if these symptoms do fade in time.

-Amanda

[samaritan]

You certainly are showing the symptoms of PTSD, maybe you have underestimated the effect the birth and adoption has had on you.  Just because you are confident it was the right decision and are happy with the current situation doesnt take away from the fact you have been through a very traumatic time, some mothers can develop PTSD after a  traumatic birth even.  Symptoms can fade over time and now you know you probably have PTSD you may deal with things better and suffer less now.

Good luck