This is a great place to come and scream . . .first, though, it is not all your fault . . . there is no blame . . . anxiety is a mental health issue . . . you do need to take steps to get you to your therapy . . . find someone who can take you . . . you need to get help outside of your family . . . the other thing, and only you can answer this one, is: are you sure what you are attributing to your Dad and your husband is correct? Does your Dad really want his couch back or does he want his daughter back? The same for your husband and kids . . . you may think they are expressing frustration, but it may just be that they are expressing their concern and trying the best that they know how to help you . . .is there a reason why you do not feel safe? has some event triggered this feeling of insecurity? what is the difference between being at your Dad's place and being in your own home? Are you overwhelmed by your situation at home with the kids? This doesn't mean you do not love them, but it means that perhaps you need help in coping with a new place and kids in tow . . . .You are paralyzed by the fear, but you need to get to a professional who can help you break this . . . also, you may be feeding your anxiety by projecting and anticipating that you are going to lose everything . . . this only allows the anxiety to create a self-fulfilling prophecy . . . do you have any idea what changed from your 6 months of a great life to now . . . .
I am so sorry that I cannot be of more help but please, don't assume blame and guilt . . . yes, you do need help, but no, you did not do anything to cause your mental health issue with anxiety . . . please try and find a friend to go with you to counseling because that's your best bet . . . let us know how you are doing, okay? Take care, KC