I feel like I'm falling in love with somebody I don't want to love.

[TylerFG]

Ok, here's something I've been worrying about since yesterday. I've had this girlfriend who've I've had on and off for the past 2 1/2 years, and every time we've dated, it's ended with me not wanting to be with her. Everytime I've dated her, I've felt nothing towards her, and I still don't. Then, comes this totally amazing girl I meet who I love a lot, let's call her "Jill". Basically, she was the first woman to show me how love even feels. She gives me this feeling that I honestly can't describe, like I'm in total euphoria. This girl knows how I feel about her, but we have become distant for now due to personal issues she has been having (She has anxiety issues also, along with her senior year taking a toll on her.), so it has been a while since we've talked, but we do say hi to each other every now and then. But yesterday, I am reminded of my ex after she friend requests me on 0409 when I deleted her (This girl isn't really all that pleasent tbh, she's come off as rude plenty of times.), but now, I feel like I could for some reason, I would want to be with her again. But the thing is, I have stong feelings for "Jill", and I feel like me and her could have something. But every time I have dated this other girl, I would end up regreting it a few days later. Now, all I can think of the girl I don't want to date. I can't even think of "Jill" anymore without my ex popping into my mind. I really don't know what to think, so I have to ask: Can anxiety fool you into thinking you are falling in love? Because I really do love "Jill", and she means a lot to me.

[kconnors]

Hi,

Well, I don't know if anxiety can fool you into thinking you are falling in love, but I imagine it could . . . what I see is happening here is that you are afraid of letting go of your on-and-off girlfriend because you don't know what will happen with Jill? So, anxiety is saying to you:  you have a choice: you can choose going back to the ex because she is a sure thing even though she is not a very nice person or you can take a chance with Jill not knowing what will happen but if you do that, you run the risk of losing the ex . . . in other words, you lose your back-up option . . . now, in my view, the reason why you cannot think of Jill without the ex appearing is because you have a decision to make between the two . . . I don't think that anxiety is fooling you into thinking you are falling in love . . . .I think what you are going through is a realization that your ex is not what you want, but that Jill right now has qualities that you like that were missing in your ex . . . .so what anxiety is doing is telling you that you have to make a choice . . . .let us know how things work out . . .take care, kc

[Quietowl]

I don't think it has to do with anxiety. It may be your own feelings coming up about your ex and this new girl. You have to just make your decision, and do what you need to do. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you really love Jill then there should be no question in your mind. You should want to be with her with no regret.

[TylerFG]

Thank you both for your advice, but the second poster has pretty much said what I've been thinking. And it turns out it was the anxiety, so everything is ok now. Thanks. :)

[dAViD96]

Anxiety or not, that feeling can definitely come and go. I've felt like that towards tons of girls whom I haven't known for long. But now that I am married, I know its true love, because the feeling never ended.  ;) Sorry if that was a bit mushhy