Im not sure if this is the right place, but in the situation I haven't got many people I can turn to.
My girlfriend has got a panic disorder and agarophobia. She's had it since very early age (possibly around 3 - 5). That, coupled with fear of vomiting, makes her life so uneasy.
She has had her ups and downs in her life, and, all in all, her childhood wasn't the easiest one. Nearly a year ago, she had a miscarriage (a baby from her last boyfriend), and when things got really difficult, she dropped out of college and moved to her granny for the summer. She felt a lot better, and some of the issues seemed to go away. Thats when we met each other, and got together. By the end of the summer, she moved back to her mum. We thought we would not keep our relationship, but everything turned out differently. We missed each other so much, and then I quit my job and moved to be with her. Found a new job, place to stay, etc.
It is nearing our 5 months anniversary. Small time, I know. But it means a lot to me, and she is the most important thing in my life.
Unfortunately, ever since she came back to her mum's, back to the memories and old places, her anxiety has returned, and is gradually getting worse. She has been in cognitive behavioral therapy for years, she tried hypnotherapy just weeks ago. GP prescriped anti-depressants, but the side-effects caused her nausea, sleep disturbances and few other things, so she dropped the medication.
I am desperate to help her. And that's where the problem arises - in her opinion, it would help a lot more if she didn't have people around her, that she could depend on constantly. I have been through so much bad things in my life, that I have become extremely sensitive to other's problems. It is in my foundation to help and support the people I love and care about. I've tried to suggest so many possible solutions and treatments, but a lot of them she has found unsuitable, due to agarophobia or the fear of throwing up.
With her having a tough time, she has been resenting me as well. It hurts like hell, but I go through it without saying anything. At this point, if it meant she would get better, I would let her go. But I dont know whether that will actually help, or make things worse.
I was in a very similiar condition at her current age. I was depressed, had suicidal thoughts. I then moved away from home, dropped out of Uni, and got a job. And, I suppose, with all the crap I have been thorugh, I have developed a really basic, but effective coping mechanism, where I just shut out everything, once things get too difficult. I have suggested this to her as well, and I have told her that with getting older and more mature, her condition will improve. But she doesnt always trust me on that.
So, my question is - has anyone been in such a situation? What did you do? What helped, or what didn't? I am not asking this to save our relationship. As I mentioned earlier - if there is the slightest chance that I am stalling her recovery, I will let her go. I hate myself for even considering it, but I love her too much to see her suffer. And she has mentioned her suicidal thoughts as well, and that scares me so much I've cried several times. Doesnt matter if she breaks my heart, I just dont want her to get to a state where she will start considering an actual 0119 attempt. And, since I've been there myself, I know particularly well how horrible it is.
Please help me. How have you helped your loved one? How has your loved one helped you?