pantophobia/despondent

[opaqueblues]

I have what is named pantophobia which is literally the fear of everything. I am in terror all the time and it never leaves. It has totally paralyzed my life to where I can't even do the smallest household task. I also have been in 6 psych hospitals and have had over 21 shock treatments. I have also had 30 TMS treatments and have tried over 2 dozen psych medications and nothing has helped me. The terror has been so bad that I tried to take my life twice.
Is there anyone out there that has heard of this rare disorder or has any idea how to go about treating it? I am under psych care now and am on meds but regular psychotherapy has little to nothing to help me. Can anyone out there help  me

[kiddatheart]

We all will be here to listen to you. It sounds like you have been going through so much. We all on here for the same reasons. We want to find solutions from the issues in our lives that are stopping us from being our best selves.

Sounds like you are trying to be your best self also. Exercise, even if it a daily walk, get out of the house to walk in new environments, read all you can from the libraries and online to educate yourself this will allow you to communicate well with your doctors, try to eat well, and set small goals every day so you have successes everyday and praise yourself for them. You are the best one to make you get healthy.

Be strong. We are all trying to be. Keep posting we are listening. http://www.anxietyzone.com/Smileys/default/yes.gif
D

[kconnors]

I would just add . . . if it is at all possible, perhaps through a community group or mental health association, see if you can be matched with a "buddy". A neighbour used this method because he was terrified of everything and the buddy came once or twice a week and went with him first on small walks and then gradually longer ones building up to helping him go and do shopping . . . it is not a cure but my neighbour is able to go outside on his deck by himself which is a big accomplishment . . . you are as, kiddatheart says, doing your best . . . .please, please, keep working on it . . . you have already shown such tremendous strength of character, and please keep in touch . . .take care, kc

[opaqueblues]

I am doing everything I can to try to stay sane, although most of the time I feel insane. I have a few friends that come once or twice a week and take me to their house. I go to church on Sunday and Wednesday but no matter where I go I am terrified the whole time. I am a Christian and I read my bible and try to find scriptures about fear and God's protection. I pray a lot and am trying to memorize the scriptures that talk about not fearing because God will take care of me. Unfortunately I have severe memory problems from the shock treatments so that makes it very difficult.
Thank you both for your input, I always feel better when I see that someone has responded to my post which is very seldom. I feel so alone in all of this and just knowing that others are struggling too makes me feel not so alone.

[kconnors]

Hi,

You've probably asked yourself this question but just in case . . . do you know of any trigger that may have caused your pantophobia? Did it start as a child or as an adult? Perhaps a traumatic experience?

It is great that you are getting out despite your phobia . . .  and your Christian faith supports you. A close friend who experienced the very worst of cancer and its treatments (there were several major complications) is confident that her faith was her one guiding light especially Psalm 23 which she now uses as her meditation mantra. Please see all of those events of getting out as accomplishments and recognize that you have core strengths that you are using on a day-to-day basis . . . do keep on posting if it is only to have a vehicle to say what is on your mind and in your heart . . . sometimes just the writing helps . . .do keep us up to date on how you are doing even if it is only to say hi . . . take care, kc

[mommabear]

I just want to wish you the very best. I'm sorry you are going through this. I've never heard of this before, so I was looking it up, even then I didn't find much info on it ( maybe just where I was looking)
I'm so glad that you have people that care about you, and they help you get out, its good of them, and very good for you!
I hope you continue to post, we all would love to hear how you are doing. Even if we can't fully understand you have our support :)

[opaqueblues]

Yes there was a trauma that I went through 3 years ago that triggered this. At first I went into an immediate deep depression and had to be hospitalized to prevent 0119. I was in and out of psychosis for at least a year. Sometimes I still fight psychosis. It was after the psychosis that the Pantophobia set in. As I said I have been in 6 hospitals, had close to 2 dozen shock treatments, 30 TMS treatments and have tried over two dozen medications and nothing has helped.
It's all I can do each day just to barely make it through the day. I live in a world of constant terror and I don't even know what I'm terrified of. I am working in psychotherapy to try to figure out how this terror ties in with the trauma I went through because most of my fear is unknown it's near impossible to match  up the fear to the trauma.
God is what /Who I am trying to hang on to. I read many scriptures about fear and try to hang on to them to give myself hope because I do feel hopeless/helpless all the time. If there were others with this illness I could talk to them but even the doctors are at a loss because this is so rare.
Thank you for your encouragement and I hope others  will read my post and drop me a line if even just to say hello.

[coeus]

It's sad for me to read this given how terrifying each experience you go through might be. It is a good step that you're undertaking psychotherapy to understand what you're going through and how you can deal with your fears. While the traumatic experience is something you can definitely discuss, the treatment plan would be to give you the skills to deal with this fear of the unknown that you constantly feel. The more equipped you are with coping skills, the better you will be with handling unusual thoughts and feelings that arise. How long have you been doing therapy for and what sort of strategies have you learnt so far?