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Author Topic: OCD about Love and Marriage  (Read 399 times)

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Offline MB1702

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OCD about Love and Marriage
« on: February 04, 2013, 12:51:24 PM »
Hello, I have been married for a little over a year to a wonderful man! He came into my life at such a great time and he is so supportive and loving. For some reason, after we got married (i would say 3-4 months in) I randomly had a freak out one day that I was not "feeling" or "reacting emotionally" right to married life. I thought that I should be feeling more giddiness and excitment - I so have longed for the feelings my hubby and I had when we were falling in love and courting in the beginning. I freaked out when those feelings were not as strong as I thought they would be after we were finally married. I have known him for about three years now.

Has anyone else experienced this and what did you do to get past worrying about it? I totally have been OCD locked on this topic for a long time and I just want to let it be because my hubby is amazing and he is so good for me, the reality side of me knows this. But the emotional side is not satisfied for some reason. Help please. Thanks

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Offline marc

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Re: OCD about Love and Marriage
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2013, 08:09:11 AM »
The key is that you both care about each other. I think it is a mistake to assume that there will always be
a spark igniting every time you see each other. I have been married over 26 years and as you age things change
to an extent. What counts the most is that you love and care for each other and are there for each other. Just try to
enjoy the time you spend together.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline MB1702

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Re: OCD about Love and Marriage
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2013, 11:35:12 AM »
Thank you, i guess I am just sad that those initial sparks are not there anymore....I know it is natural for that giddy/fall in love feeling to fade with time....but I am sad it is gone, I miss it.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: OCD about Love and Marriage
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2013, 11:47:04 AM »
I can't resist putting my two cents in here because this raises the big question of love and how it is being portrayed or represented or defined in the current culture.

As an old timer, married a long time, this boggles my mind. There are so many aspects to love aren't there? Just perhaps a rhetorical question that has occupied novelists and poets and musicians forever. Maybe nothing has changed, but maybe it has. Certainly a mesmerizing topic.
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Offline Birch531

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Re: OCD about Love and Marriage
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2013, 04:11:32 PM »
What you are feeling is totally normal for any married couple. He difference for us OCDers is the importance we put on these feelings. The more attention and worry we give them, the worse it feels and it feels like something is wrong. There is nothing wrong. While I was engaged I had a major OCD episode about doubting whether I should marry my fiancÚ...the whole "what if" game. It was OCD and it passed, we got married and it all worked out! But both my husband and I definitely don't always have the romantic love feelings toward each other...and that was from early on in our relationship (and let me tell you, when we were first seriously dating we were stupid, crazy in love with all the romantic/cheesy stuff).
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Offline MB1702

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Re: OCD about Love and Marriage
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2013, 01:49:14 PM »
Thank you Birch531 - That is comforting to know. I had majory OCD about my emotions and "love" the first year or so, and sometimes STILL< Glad to know I am not alone. Anyone else experience this with their engagement or marriage? I think I am just taking longer to get used to the fact that those feelings do fade eventually, and you cant keep them forever.
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