Back here after three years!

[Tweenie]

I didn't think I would be back here but....I really need some advice tonight.

I have had health anxiety since I was in my 20s. Now 30 years later, I am still struggling with it. Here is what I am dealing with now:

Went back on anti-depressants (Effexor XR) after being off for only 3 months. Have also been taking Ativan (.5 mg 3x a day). My doctor wanted to wean me off so I did it over a three week period. I just finished taking my last .5 mg 4 days ago. Since then, I have gone completely crazy! Since I went back on the Effexor XR, I have had a dull pain under my left rib (stomach) and sometimes further down in the abdomen on the left side. Prior to going back on the drug, I was having issues with stomach pain (the doctor said it was because of my stress and anxiety). I saw my doctor yesterday and told her that I was having terrible anxiety issues and that my stomach was still sore. She examined me and said that there was no indication of any masses or lumps, etc. and suggested that I increase my dose of Effexor.  I am completely obsessed with the thought that I have stomach cancer. I cannot get it out of my mind and can think of nothing else!! My husband suggested that maybe I'm obsessing again because I am now off of the Ativan. The doctor didn't even mention that possibility. Other things in my life currently:  a job that stresses me to no end (I was off for two months with depression and anxiety), my best friend is dying of cancer and was just told 4 weeks ago that there is nothing more that they can do for her and my mom ended up in emergency two days ago with a heart problem.

So, is there a chance that the anxiety, panic and obsession thoughts I've having are as a result of my coming off of the Ativan too quickly? How can I stop these thoughts that I have stomach cancer?? In the past I have been convinced that I had: breast cancer, ovarian cancer, MS, you name it.....

I sure could use some help tonight. My husband just left to go back to work out of town and I'm feeling very alone and scared.

[Maisie77]

Hi Tweenie,

You sound like you need to cut yourself a break! From what you described in your post you have huge amounts of stress in your life. Just to name two big ones- a job that is miserable and a dear friend that you know is terminally ill. That is a lot to cope with. Remember, many times our hypochondriasis acts up when we are under severe amounts of stress. I don't know if Ativan withdrawal can cause stomach pain, but I would trust your doctor when he/she says you are ok. If things are really bad, could you get the smallest possible dose of Ativan and wean off even more slowly? Or is that is the smallest dose, take it every other day and see if your stomach discomfort goes away. Stress does crazy things to the GI system.

Good luck, I really think you at overwhelmed with a lot on your plate.

Maisie

[Tweenie]

Thank you, Maisie...

The stomach aches started before I weaned off of the Ativan so I don't think it's from that. I do have IBS as well but this aching is mostly in the upper part of my abdomen.

Of course, I have been Googling and read that H. Pylori can increase the chances of getting stomach cancer and I found out that I had that in my 20s....just another piece of information to freak me out.

Coping with my best friends diagnosis has been difficult - it triggered my HA 3 years ago! She has survived and fought a hard battle for just over 3 years and finding out that she will now steadily decline is triggering my obsessiveness again. My appetite has been really bad and I'm losing weight like mad! Another worry!

[marc]

My GI physician told me that stomach cancer is predominately a disease of the elderly,
is on the decline in the USA and many cases are caused by H Pylori bacteria, which you can
be tested for in a non invasive way.

[Tweenie]

I have H. Pylori. That's why I'm freaking out...I was tested in my 20s but stopped the treatment because it made me sick then.

[sixpack]

I have H. Pylori. That's why I'm freaking out...I was tested in my 20s but stopped the treatment because it made me sick then.

so often this is what ha peeps do---------look back on something that happened months or years ago--on some inferred mistake we've made---------- and then find a reason to see how it will affect us now. 

I don't usually suggest this, as we ha peeps are often addicted to doctors and med testing, but go to your physician and have a check up.  if you feel it necessary tell him/her about the incident in your 20's and get retested.  if you still have the bacteria, then take the meds for it.  simple. 

now keep in mind and understand that what is driving all of this fear right now is the stress in your life right.

so you can choose to stop this runaway train or you can choose to throw more coal in the engine.........

[marc]

My GI physician also told me that around 40-50% of all individuals have H Pylori
bacteria and in most people it causes no problems at all. If you think about it
logically, if the bacteria always caused stomach cancer, we would have a stomach
cancer epidemic.

[Tweenie]

Thank you, Sixpack. I think my doc is getting tired of seeing my face but I will ask to be tested again.

I have been waking up for the past 4 mornings with a panic attack where I actually wake out of a deep sleep with a rush of adrenaline and break into a sweat. Has anyone had experience with withdrawl from Ativan and having it trigger obsessive thoughts again? I can't eat or sleep and I have to go to work tomorrow....which I am dreading.

[Maisie77]

I really think you're experiencing a combination of several things. The biggest is your friends illness and the stress from work.   Then you combine the withdrawal from the Ativan and that just intensifies your health anxiety worries. Ativan is an anti anxiety, so it makes perfect sense that you would be producing more anxious thoughts. Did you say you just started an anti-depressant? Sometimes that produces an initial spike in anxiety too. I would have a heart to heart with your doctor and inform him of all the external stresses in your life. Also, it would be good to talk to a counselor, you have a lot going on. The loss of someone close to you is listed as the number one or two most stressful events a person will go through. Good luck, keep me posted.

[Tweenie]

I've been on the anti-d for 3 months so it's not that causing the anxiety. I'm pretty sure that it from the Ativan withdrawl and all of the stressors. My doc is aware of the external things going on. She suggested a day program at one of our hospitals but that would mean missing work. That causes me more stress. I'm having trouble eating too. It's awful.....Sunday and I feel like there is nobody around to help today. I'm a complete mess.

[Maisie77]

When all else fails, take a brisk walk and prayer for divine intervention! Do something to get rid of that extra adrenaline.

[Tweenie]

Walked my dog, shoveled snow and I do feel a little better but now, I dread the nights....my sleep has been terrible since I stopped the Ativan. I'm so tired of HA rearing it's ugly head!

[Slangevar]

Tweenie - are you doing anything like yoga, CBT, aerobic exercise and/or massage/spa-like activities?  You need something - the things you're dealing with your life are guaranteed to set off anyone's HA.  I just set off my HA by reading an article about someone dying... I can't imagine how stressed out I would be if it was my best friend.

Hang in there and be very kind to yourself. Distract yourself with books at night - whatever it takes to get through this. You'll be okay eventually, but this is just unfortunately one of those times when HA flourishes.

[Maisie77]

Tweenie- I'm trying to do everything natural right now because I'm 5 months pregnant and well, I am scared to endanger the baby with any meds that aren't deemed very safe. Anyway, I've been thinking about what I do if I can't  sleep. The things that relax me are: a warm shower, a warm cup of milk ( makes me sleepy, some don't like the taste), a guided imagery relaxation session ( utube has many free ones), deep breathing, a repetitive prayer, if I get desperate I will take a tylenol pm, which is non addictive and non habit forming. The other thing that might be really beneficial for you at this time is journaling how you're feeling- if you can get it down on paper, you release it from your mind a little. Hope you have a peaceful night.

[Tweenie]

Thank you, Slangevar and Maisie, for your suggestions. I used to do all kinds of things: yoga, pilates, meditation classes but haven't been doing anything lately. I do have a dog that needs daily exercise so thank GOD for him. He forces me to get out of the house.

The nocturnal panic attacks are just awful and something I don't remember ever having before. I don't have panic attacks during the day - just a lot of anxiety.

I really wish I could go the natural route because I don't like putting chemicals into my body. Unfortunately, until I really learn how to handle stressors and have some coping tools that really work, I need the meds. You'd think by now (I'm 50), I would have learned....not yet.

I will have some warm milk tonight - I actually like it and put a little pure vanilla into it for flavor.

Again, thank you - I so appreciate the time you took to provide some suggestions and thoughts.

All the best.

[sassparella]

With all the stress you are under I'm hardly surprised that you're having problems with anxiety. My current bout of HA was started when my dad died, a friend dying is bound to affect your anxiety levels immensely and you have your mum to worry about too.

I'm sure coming off the ativan hasn't helped and if it's affecting your sleep it's bound to make you feel worse. There's some good advice in this thread on getting to sleep. Hopefully the warm milk will help and you'll get a good night's sleep tonight. Hope you have a better night.