Irrational fear..

[Health-Scared]

I am 19 years old and have been struggling for a long time with irrational fear and panic attacks. I know that my feelings are usually completely irrational and my reasons for being scared or angry are unjustifiable which makes me feel embarrassed to talk to people about them.
I am currently studying Beauty Therapy. I start my third term next Monday and I am terrified. At New Year's it hit me hard. I was angry (I deal with fear by being angry for some reason) at anybody who spoke to me and for anything they did, even when trying to help me. It made me feel terrible that I was hurting people for trying to support me which made me angrier. I cried myself to sleep for days but I didn't know how to make anybody understand my feelings, to be honest I don't know how to understand them myself. Then somehow they went away for a while. About a week ago they began coming back. I tried to explain to my bestfriend how I felt about going back, even told her about a panic attack I had during a class to try to make her understand. But she didn't understand and while explaining it to her I realised how crazy I must sound sometimes. (In class we were studying make-up. They put it on me and as they were applying it, I began to feel as though the products were sinking into my skin. I swear I felt it going into my lungs and into my heart where it pumped through my entire body. I began to be unable to breathe, quickly excused myself and went to the bathroom. I sat on the ground in the back stall struggling to breathe while I imagined my arteries clogging up with foundation and concealer. After about 10 minutes I forced myself to get up and wash it off. I scrubbed my face so hard that it appeared as though I had had an allergic reaction to the make up, which, to my utter relief got me excused from further participation, but I was not myself for days afterwards). This was not a one-off event. I often feel that things are ultering me at a cellular level and it freaks me out. I am terrified that the things they are going to do to me are going to cause cancer or do something irreversible to my body.
I know that I am getting worse, my idea's and thoughts are scaring me more and more and the list of things I simply cannot do is getting longer and longer. Irrational things! Like I can't drink milk, even if it is freshly bought, because my brain tells me it is off. To me, that is absurd. But I still can't drink it.
Should I get proffessional help?
I would like to talk to someone who can help me escape my mind. I've told my parents I want to see a councillor or something and they never take me seriously. I keep thinking I should see someone secretely so no one knows about it, but I simply can't do that without transport or money. When I press my parents to take me to get help, they tell me to talk to God. I have, but it doesn't help me. I don't know how to get around it. Has anyone else had this problem? How do you work around it? Is this even anxiety?
Thanks to anyone who reads this/replies to this. I know it's a lot to read.. so thanks for listening =]

[Quietowl]

I just want you to know that you're not alone.

I think it's vital that you get to a therapist. If your family won't take you, find some way to get there no matter what. Or you have to lay down the reality of the matter with your parents. Tell thm how serious this is.

I encourage you to continue to talk to God. Pour your heart out to him. Ask for guidance on the issue.

I feel terrible that you went through that experience. But it sounds like anxiety for sure. You get irrational thoughts and sometimes you think they're the stupidest things but its the way our brain is programmed right now. We need to change our thinking patterns and a professional can definitely help you.

[Health-Scared]

Thank you so much for your advice and support! I really appreciate knowing I'm not alone and I am seeking medical help. I just went to my GP, told her what my deal was and she referred me. I'm very grateful for the kindness of strangers in my life. So thank you =]

[Quietowl]

Absolutely anytime! I hope you find what you need :)

[Happy sailing]

Hey there!!
GREAT you are getting help!! The GP can also prescribe meds IIFFFF you guys think it is best..
Therapy, relaxation techniques etc.  MANY factors contribute to anxiety/brain issues...even possibly hormones- you said one month between episodes.  ONE fa tor to consider.
Check CHEESUS on this thread...might help!! 
Hugs!

[Happy sailing]

Here's the thread ... Check out what CHEESUS wrote...
 
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,65197.msg381678.html#msg381678

[keiji]

Sorry to find you in that tough condition, but hold onto your hope!

I was at a lot worse condition, I had to be in bed most of the day when it was worst for a couple of years, I even feared when it got rained, but it's got a lot better and I could even quit taking medication, too. I know how it felt when it feels like all the anger and rush running through the whole body. I got it all the time, and that made me a divorced.

All I want you to do is to take a good care of yourself, pay attention to what you eat, and be as healthy as possible. Anxiety in my opinion is only caused by too much adrenalin, a hormone secreted from the adrenal gland. That is why you get anxious, irritated and angry for no particular reason. Something in your body system is not working right. After some years out of my bed, I started to have healthy dietary habit, my anger problem now is close to the level of previous myself, though I still have anxiety issue which got down to 1/10 from the worst time.

[Vanessa]

Hello, I am 19 as well and I have dealt with panic attacks for a very long time. I know how it feels when you want to explain what you feel and how you think to your friends and no matter how hard they try, they just won't understand. Just like you I am still embarressed to this day to talk about my anxiety with people I go to school with and other friends. It scares me to think that I will never find someone who will love me because I can't go on a date without getting heart palpitations, hyperventalation and nausia. Although it might be hard to reach out to those around you, there are many people that do know what you are going through and that can help you. It's not an easy battle but it helps when you don't have to fight it on your own. I hope you find the help and support you deserve. I wish you all the best and keep your head up because you are beautiful inside and out.

[tmcrews]

I'm 21 and I have the same fears (things affecting me on a cellular level). Foods, medication, perfume, lotion, and makeup. Sometimes you just have to try to think about other things. I'm not over it so if you figure it out, let me know.

[Health-Scared]

Thanks so much for everyone's kind words and encouragement! And tm, I certainly will let you know! That article that Cheesus wrote was really good and has made me think about many things and adapt my perceptions (as best I could) to benefit me in a situation instead of making myself feel weak - I recommend people checking it out!