fear of schizophrenia....HELP!!

[vekiqf]

Hi,

I have a problem with OCD. I had/have such irrational things on my
mind and I can get them out of my head. I had thoughts that I am
pedophile but I overpassed it with CBT with
tecnique to just accept the thoughts and now I developed a big fear of
schizoprenia.I tried to use same technique but it is very hard. I read
forums about it to reasure myself I cant controle it and this thing is killing me.I
surfed via web to see what are the symptoms,in which age you can
develop it and I am scared that I will get hallucinations, that I will
loose my mind.. I stared always to ask myself what if I develop
symptoms of it, is this real world, what if I convince myself that I
am posesed, that I am paranoid, that I will become paranoid…even all
the schizo thoughts that I read on web jump in my mind but I cant
beleive them and then this makes mi very anxious because I know that
this is stupid and irrational and that it is not normal to think on
this way but it is hard.All silly thought that pop up on my mind I see as a symptom of schizphrenia. I am scared to accept these thoughts that I will become delusional.I read in the paper that one sufferer killed hes wife as he thought that she was against him I was so scared that I started to think what if I do that and what if this pop on my mind. I thought what if my fiancee is against me and I was terrified how could I think about that and I know that this is irrational and not normal but it scared me as this is delusional thought and that people who suffer from schizphrenia think on this way. Now I cant remove this out of my head even I know that it is irrational and I dont beleive in that.I went to see few shrinks and all said that I
am not schizo but it is hard to convince myself.One doctor told me that only type od schizophrenia is possible in my age is paranoid so I started to be obsessed with that. I started to use ssri
Cipralex few weeks ago and there are no results. I am hypohondriac and
had few phases in my life about AIDS, Cancer etc and when I found out
about OCD I just started to think that I am not immune to mental
illness and my situation got worse

Please help if you can with some advise..What do you think is my
problem?.I am from Belgrade/Serbia and I am 32\

[Pippy187]

Hello, you're not alone. The intrusive thoughts are common with OCD especially thought morphing. I will get an intrusive thought to harm someone , say myself or my girlfriend and then it morphs into me feeling the fear of losing control and I have had the schizophrenia fears as well.  I see a therapist and do exposure therapy and we journal my thoughts and write down the thoughts no matter what they are (this is a lot harder then is sounds) and we follow that thought so see how it makes you feel.  Just remember they're only thoughts, thoughts can't hurt you or anyone.... People everywhere have messed up thoughts all the time, sometimes they just pass, but people like us w OCD we hold on to them for a bit.  I just bought a book called Imp of the Mind and its about people and intrusive thought, I'll let ya know how it is.  Just know you're not alone my friend.... While the thoughts are horrible, they do pass.

[vekiqf]

Hi man,

many thanks for the answer. I hope that I will overcome this fear. Do you take any meds and should I suggest ERP therapy to my doc. In the past we did mindfullnes but there are no results

[Pippy187]

I don't take any meds, I have a phobia of meds and cannot handle the side effects as of yet. Cbt and exposure have done me well thus far.   What do you do to cope?

[MiniShopaholic]

Hi... according to your explanation I think it is OCD. Because actually u don't have such thoughts at the first time, u develop it because u know people with schizo and then starting to doubt urself,"Am I like that as well?"

I read in one article that if you focus on a thought too much, it will get ur mind's attention and it is hard to let go of that thought. My suggestion is that you should just watch that thought flee and say to yourself, what you think does not defines you.
However, I am not sure about your exact problem & thoughts, so maybe I misinterpret your explanation but this is all I could suggest. You could also try to share what your thoughts are about in detail.

In fact, I have a similar problem and I think I have this obsessive negative thoughts about people. It bothers me a lot to be honest. But I am now visiting a counselor and hope that would help me mitigate the problem.

[vekiqf]

In the past I overcomed my ocd without meds and therapy.This summer I found out what OCD is and I wadso scared tha I couldnt remove it from my head.Month ago schiz stuff started and doc prescribed me Lexapro 10mg per day....I dont see results and I feel like I am going nuts it started without sideeffects but now I am not good.I must see with him what is going on....I am also against meds I tryed but I think I will stop...I read also th :angry:at ssri can make you psychotic so f*** this