Drank a Handle a day, stopped cold turkey, hate life

[zombified]

 


PLEASE HELP
So, ill try to keep it short. (after typing this all i realized i failed at this)

I broke up with my fiance, she cheated and it absolutely destroyed me. it affected everything, i started to drink, it affected my work, i was laid off.
so for three years, I started off with wine and champagne, then i was drinking so much of those i moved to these drinks called "four lokos"
i was addicted. i had a temp job where i worked really hard, but i still managed to drink 2-3 four lokos on work nights, and sometimes up to 5-6 on weekend days. after that job i was back to being unemployed, living with my mother at age 26, very depressing.

i got to the point where i was buying another handle of vodka every day or two. i was drinking super heavy for a long time.
so now unemployment stopped, despite working my 0104 off its been hard to find a job. probably 5 months since i worked.

so without any income for alcohol ive been slowing down on it, so it wasnt at choice at first. but, when i drank it was great, but the next day, i would have horrible anxiety, after trial and error i realized it was after days i drank.

so i stopped. delt with mild anxiety, not having insurance i used the last of my savings to go to a urgent care, and they prescribed me xanax and well butrin. not being able to afford well burtrin yet i just started with xanax. it helped. i thought i had a handle on everything. so for xmas, i had a glass on champagne, and it felt SO good to drink agian, it was like having sex, i wanted more. i got a bottle of wine as a gift, so the day after the xmas party, i downed the whole bottle. it was fun. killed the bottle by about 6pm. had dinner, relaxed, aaaand then it happened. the worst panic attack ive ever had in my life....

followed by a week full of anxiety, panic attacks, sleepless nights, feeling like im going to die. and terrifying feelings like im going to pass out. horrible horrible times. since it was so bad my mother offered to pay for the well butrin, thinking it would make me happier, and fix the anxiety.

well it didnt, it seemed to make things worse, it seemed to work me up and make my anxiety worse. sometimes my mind felt SO fuzzy, i had an interview and i feel i didnt get it because of my anxiety and fuzzy zombiefied feelings.

i weened off and stopped taking well butrin as well,  probably havnt had any for a week or two


so here i am, taking xanax every 7 hours. sometimes feeling fucking fantastic! sometimes..i get this...Zombified like everythings normal...then BOOM super tired like i havnt slept in two days. people keep telling me its just alcohol withdrawls..is it? is there something else wrong with me? i dont have the money to go to a doctor. it happened last night..the sudden tiredness..weak..fuzzy foggy feeling..worried ill pass out..which causes anxiety and panic attacks.  im at a loss. by trying to make my anxeity go away..ive done a few things:

I stopped drinking alcohol
I stopped drinking caffeine
Ive almost eliminated all sugars
and i stopped smoking ciggertes and weed

all cold turkey

sure googling stuff i understand withdrawls can last a while. is it unheard of that i could still having withdrawls? do i need to take more xanax?

is there ANYWAY to get rid of this zombie foggy fuzzy head feeling?? if i have to deal with it for the rest of my life im afraid of what ill do. i cant handle it. im stressing out my family with constant panic attacks, i was going to go to the movies yesterday with my nephew and i was having such a bad panic attack i had to cancel. its affecting my life in a serious way. if i cant get it under control, i cant handle an interview and wont be able to get a job, if i cant get a job i wont be able to afford medical services to see if or what else is wrong with me or if im just being a hyprocondriac.

please i beg you, as i write this in tears, i need help. i need support. 

[Lynnmain]

First of all I heard of that drink "four lokos "  and I hear it is actually " crazy" and is banned in some places.  It's a good think you were able to stop drinking. I would def try to ditch the Xanax ( don't replace one habit with another) but I am aware that stopping certain habits cold turkey can be dangerous ( and I'm not exactly sure what) so maybe you can call a help line and get some professional advise. I do think that taking Xanax may be contributing to your " fuzzy head " feeling...Sorry you are going through this and wish I knew more info so I could give you better advise. Just stay focused on getting back on track and you will get there.

... My post doesn't sound very helpful - but I just wanted to give ya some support :)

[zombified]

well thanks for the "support"



a college kid drank like 20 of them in a night and people tried to get them banned because they had so much caffeine in them. they took the caffeine out. so there goes that.

so you think its dangerous to quit cold turkey but not sure, but have no facts or anything for that...

and the only thing stopping my horrifying panic attacks you think are bad for me as well.


....thanks?

[tinam7]

Please know we just try to help the best we can.

Believe it or not, I think you are in a good place because you will, in time, become your own natural self, get a new healthy start with none of all you mention. There will be a transition period, not necessarily easy. You may want to consult with a therapist, learn about CBT, take an interest in exercise, meditation, and so reclaim your life. We empathize, support you in your endeavor, and wish you the best.

[zombified]

and dont get me wrong, i appreciate actual help.

but replying to peoples post with random statements and false information isnt helpful.

[Lynnmain]

I'm not an expert or a health professional so I want to be careful on what I write to others. Sorry that I didn't have much info for you I was just trying to give you a response bc you had none and you seemed stressed out. I was  suggesting that the Xanax weren't a good idea bc you said you were " fuzzy headed " and I thought maybe that could be why. And I heard that Xanax could be addicting and I saw a show on Dr. Phil where a mom was heavily addicted to them and they put her in an inpatient program because of it. So my opinion is that one with addictive behaviors shouldn't substitute from one thing to another.  Also,I do know that people go through with withdrawal from taking  Xanax that's why I said you cant quit things cold turkey..  and I did say I wasn't exactly sure what because I didn't want to give you false information and I wasn't 100 percent positive at the time that Xanax applied to that but I just looked it up online and it says it does.
http://www.choosehelp.com/detox/xanax-withdrawal-symptoms-how-to-get-off-xanax.html ( that is the link to what I read)
I hope this time my post helped a little.

  Good luck to you

[Bettie]

Hi Zombified

Sounds like you're having a rough time! I went through something very similar to you so thought I would chuck in my two pennies...

Like you, I stopped drinking cold turkey and it was horrible at the time. I was taking some medication at the time (can't remember exactly what it was called but similar to Xanax) because I wanted a quick fix and to make my panic attacks go away.

But like you, I felt like a zombie. I had a fuzzy head, wasn't quite 'all there', had trouble concentrating and so on. So I stopped the medication and decided to concentrate on other therapies. I didn't feel like I had anything to lose really because.

I did many of the things tinam7 has suggested and have found it genuinely helps. Regular exercise (I just walk the dog but it’s relaxing), taking up a hobby (I do volunteering), regular sleeping times, improved diet (think about taking supplements too…I take a lot of B vitamins) and so on has made a big difference. At the beginning I really like I couldn’t be bothered but now it’s been over a year and I am in a hugely better place.

It’s tough at the beginning but getting into a routing of doing positive things and sticking to it while being sober is something I sure will help.