First time blogger w/ MS fears

[KLO]

Hi everybody, I have been creepin on this website for months now, several times a day.  My background is I have had HA for a very long time, since I was young. I was raised by a worry wart father and my mom was diagnosed with MS when I was pretty young. The MS never ever bothered me or came in to mind until about a year ago. I must say though, I have thought I have had everything at some point! This past year has been the worst! I  thought to have had a bladder problem, HIV, Cancer, Fibromyalgia and the big one MS. I have been to the doctor for each of those problems probably 6 times. All negative.

The problem that doesn't seem to go away is the MS thoughts. My mom has it really bad and I was told by the doctor because I am her daughter I have a 5% chance of getting it vs. the normal female population of 3%. I had tingling all over my body, like water drops, all over for about a month, especially in my hands and feet and also sometimes a buzzing feeling. I went to 3 docs, all telling me go see a psychologist its not MS, which I did. Finally, my GP referred me to a neurologist to make me feel better. He didn't. He was rude and not reassuring. He did however order an MRI "to make both of us feel better" and there I went. I got an MRI w/ contrast right before Thanksgiving and it was negative. Yay right? Wrong, now my tingling has pretty much disappeared but my left leg feels sore, a little tired at times and now my lower back hurts. What if we missed something!!! I have absolutely no numbness, but I don't like that its one sided. I do remember him telling me if it was one sided, it would be more plausible! Am I being crazy? My MRI was just taken. Is it in my head? I feel like my life is ruined by HA! I am so sick of the "body noise". Most of all I am embarrassed to go to the doc again.

[sassparella]

5% chance of getting it still means a 95% chance you won't, they're great odds. Also if your MRI was negative and your doctor says you don't have MS you should take their word they know what they're talking about. About the one sided issue, I had one sided weakness over a year ago when my anxiety was at its worst, it cleared up and I"m fine. So try to relax, I know it's hard with HA but you've had tests and have been told you're fine.

[Drewdude]

Hey you know, you're actually lucky that you've had an MRI! Although I guess it has taken lots of courage to jump through the hoops to get one! I had ms fears when I got a buzzing in my foot. Following from that I worried, I googled and I checked and the anxiety built up and the adrenaline got higher and you know what... I had those tingles all over, like little hot pins randomly all over my body. I also got weak legs, aching legs and even thought that I had a numb little toe!!! It was all anxiety! What really helped was being able to relax. I got this app thing by a guy called Andrew Johnson and that really helped. Since then I still have anxiety bouts but the symptoms you describe will go away if you can relax or go for a run. Generally anxiety symptoms are very hard to pinpoint and not like real symptoms and you will learn to recognise them. Good luck but you don't have ms and you can now relax and move on from these horrible thoughts.

[greend]

As Drew and Sassparella have said it is time to relax and move on.  You have been told you don't have MS and now you have to take the leap of faith that the neurologist is right in his diagnosis.  He sees this disorder frequently and would know what he is looking for.  Try dealing with your anxiety by reading self help books and exercising.

I hope you feel well soon.

[ejmommy]

I'm right there with you, having the symptoms but MRI was clear and neuro says no MS. I still struggle with it (did they miss it?) but am really making progress. I can tell the difference in the way I feel because of it. I know it's hard, but I think if you try to keep your mind occupied and don't think of it as much, you will notice the symptoms less and less.

I work on (at the advice of my therapist) trying to push that thought out of my head as soon as it starts. Visually push it away in your mind and start thinking of something else. It sounds stupid, but it is very effective. If you don't even let the thought process start, you can't get into all the what ifs, and the whole cycle doesn't start. I'm not saying I can do it every time, but it is getting easier to do and I feel much better for it! 

[greend]

Ejmommy, I am going to try your technique. Thanks for the suggestion; I think on this site any positive advise it helpful.

[greend]

I meant advice not advise.

[Hohum]

I have a 5% chance of getting it vs. the normal female population of 3%.

Hmm - 3% of the female population being diagnosed with MS sounds way off to me. I have heard all sorts of crazy statistics from some Doctors that others have laughed at, so who knows. 79.231% of statistics are made up on the spot, as they say...

As soon as your brain starts telling you "What is they missed something?" you can bet the house on anxiety talking. You've had a very specific test, conducted by a specialist Doctor, and it came out fine. Now is the time to move on and enjoy life, instead of worrying about what-ifs.