Hi, Eggyman . . .
Well, nothing is hopeless . . . yep, you have a lot of levels of stress on you . . . my concern is that you and your doctor, from your perspective, are not connecting . . . is this a family doctor or a doctor trained in therapy? Sometimes and this may not be the case with your doctor, if it is a family doctor, s/he prescribes meds as a means of controlling the symptoms when you should be dealing with root causes . . . I am not a professional but I will hazard a guess that weed and meth did not help your brain chemistry much and it usually, in my experience and connections, takes much longer to heal brain chemistry that has been under the influence of weed and meth . . . perhaps Lexapro and other meds are not appropriate . . .
I cannot answer the meds or no meds question . . . I can tell you, though, you do need to consult with a trained professional not only in anxiety but in pharmacology to determine which drugs, if any, are the most appropriate for you . . . you might even benefit from a referral to an out-patient clinic for mental health issues . . . .whether you return to your "normal" self depends on the process that you use and your commitment . . . I suspect that like many of us, myself included, it is not so much as a return to a prior state of being "normal" as it is creating a new state of "normal" that works for us and our specific set of symptoms, causes and effects . . . please check in and let us know how you are doing and remember . . . nothing is ever hopeless . . .maybe hard work but definitely not hopeless . . .take care, kc