Stay at home mom scared of being alone

[jax79]

I'm a stay at home mother and my anxiety has kicked in a lot. I have health anxiety and also GAD ( NO FUN) and lately I'm scared something bad will happen to me while im with my children. My son goes to school while I'm with my 21 month old daughter and when I'm alone my thoughts go crazy what if I pass out and shes alone, what if I die and she's alone? I HATE IT! It causes me to freak out and I don't want a panic attack. I can't call my husband home all the time and I don't have any family around me My mother in law is here which has been so nice because I've been so calm and haven't really worried but now that she's leaving in 2 weeks I'm starting to get scared about being alone I don't want to be this way. It just started a couple months ago and now it's gets worse. I don't know what to do? Please if anyone as similar issues or has any advice that can help me relieve my tension and anxiety I would apperciate it. Please don't read and not leave a comment, it's very frustrating when we come on here for help and advice and nobody response to people topic . Thanks

[kconnors]

Hi,

Now, I am not a professional, but have you contacted your doctor and spoke to him/her about post-partum anxiety (yes, I know, it is usually post-partum depression but anxiety and depression are different sides of the same coin)? Do you know why you are having these thoughts? Did you have a similar reaction when your son was at home but maybe you did not recognize it as such? Perhaps your health anxiety is more a fear of separation from your children? Since this current episode started just a couple of months ago or at least became apparent then, it may be associated with your daughter . . . did anything happen? My best suggestion (I have not had your situation in my life) is to contact your doctor and follow up with a trained counselor . . . please let us know how you are doing . . . take care, kc

[KW034]

YES!

I'm a SAHM to a 20 mo old. My biggest anxiety centers around something happening, like me fainting, when I'm solely caring for him.  It's what keeps me at home when I'm feeling the worst.  I'm scared to take him for a walk for this fear.  At it's height, I'm scared to be at home by myself with him.

I will say, however, it's gotten better, and I've only been on medication and seeing a therapist for about 6 weeks.  I'm still at the beginning of my journey, and am not "fixed" by any means yet, but there is hope and you are definitely not the only mom out there feeling this way.

Chin up,
Krista

[e77]

If you have the means, I encourage you to work with a counselor, especially someone who is familiar with and works with people who have anxiety disorders.  It can help.  Is it possible for you to co-op with other moms to reduce isolation? Being responsible for a child is a big time responsibility and increases the pressure on you so I can understand the anxiety.  Take care

[bridetobe]

I have the same fear! I hate driving my daughter in the car alone, taking her anywhere alone or being home alone. I am so afraid something will happen to me and I won't be able to take care of her. My advice is set up a support system, a few friends, even just your husband and mother in law that you can call whenever you are feeling especially anxious. I do this without even mentioning that I am having these fears and just taking to someone helps calm me down.

[Death Metal Philosopher]

I have the reverse of your anxiety! I am a 20 year old manboy that worries about my mom being alone. I get irrationally afraid that someone will break into the house and I won't be there to protect her. I also get the same fear for my girlfriend, sisters, pretty much every woman in my life!

[jax79]

Thanks everyone for your response. I havent' contact a therapist because my insurance will not cover which is why I'm trying to find self help ways to calm my anxiety. I didnt have this anxiety with my son I would get random thoughts what if I harm him it could scare me and I would disreguard it but I never dwelled on it. It got worse after I had my daughter. I believe the health anxiety has caused me to be this way because I'm scared of dying earlier and not being able to be there for my children I think that's my ultimate fear. I know I can't control it and it's out of my hands and I think that's why it freaks me out. Do you guys have any tips or advices you could give me that help release some of your anxiety? I'm starting to tell myself if I die I die what can I do and I notice it helps a little. I try to focus on my kids so I don't focus on my thinking. They say the more you push your thoughts away the more the come so I don't do that I just tell myself are you kidding me stop it and sometimes it works but sometimes my mind gets the best of me which causes me to freak out. I don't want my kids to get this so I try to not show them I'm freaking out. ugghhh its rough! Thanks again for all your comments. If I can help any of you in anyway let me know.

[KW034]

That sucks your insurance won't cover therapy. What about medication? Your GP or OB can prescribe it to you, or even better, a psychiatrist (if your insurance will cover). Medication will help with those thoughts and will help you in get better through self-help methods.

[Lynnmain]

I went through the same exact thing! I thought I would faint or something bad would happen to me and my daughter would be alone in the house and no one would know. This went on for some time it was horrible. I just make lots of play dates and keep busy. It went away thankfully and yours will too! I think the adjustment to stayin home gives our minds too much time to think! And I have a question... You say you are suppose to let the thoughts come on ( which I have heard b4) but my therapist suggests I stop the thoughts and label them. So do you think I should bring mine on?? I'm still having a hard time w my new fear not really sure what to do anymore. Anxiety is not fun

[Sherri77]

I am a sahm and I have three children. Two of them are in school full time. I am home with my youngest daughter, who is 3. My Husband is in between jobs right now and is home more often than he was before but sometimes he still leaves to go to the gym or take care of errands. I don't think of something bad happening to me, I think of bad things happening to my daughter and I have no way to get her to a hospital. I have GAD and panic disorder. I often throw myself into a panic attack when I get these thoughts. It is definitely no fun.
 Have you saw a Doctor yet for this? I just recently reached out for help and am not on any medication yet either but my Doctor has agreed to give me some Xanax to get me through until my Psych appt next month. What about counseling?

[jax79]

Thanks for the responses everyone. @Lynnmain I just recently found a meeting group for stay at home mothers and hope to have a playdate and meeting soon. I'm hoping this helps so I can stop feeling this anxiety when I'm home. I think of the worst things that could happen when I'm alone with m daughter and son and it literally makes me feel like I'm a nut case. They do say the more you push away your thoughts the more the stay. Recently when I have these thoughts I say to myself hello anxiety you can stay but you won't affect my emotions and it has helped a little. Its a working progress. I'm glad yours went away and hope and pray one day mine will too.

@Sherri77 My insurance doesn't cover mental health so I have to fight this battle alone and of course support through my family. I don't believe medication can help because a mental behavioral issue and if I want it to stop I have to change the way I think. I found a place where they go by your income for people who don't have insurance. I'm going to look into that to see if maybe that can help me a bit. It's a struggle everyday and I hope I can overcome this anxiety one day. My mother inlaw leaves in 3 days and I've been up and down with it and I know the first day I'm home alone I'm going to freak out! I hope I don't :/ I really wish I wasn't like this!

[Lynnmain]

I joined a group for stay at home moms too like a mommy and me , it was great! And I like your greeting to anxiety I will be trying that!

[jax79]

I'm really hoping it works because my mother in law leaves in 2 days and I've been freaking out inside. Even though I know it's my anxiety the thoughts I create in my mind when I'm alone in my daughter scares me and its very bothersome. I hope I can control it and one day laugh at how stupid I am for thinking these thoughts. That technique does help me because it calms me down but sometimes it doesn't and I have to just breath and find away to stop! It's hard at times and easy at times! It SUCKS LOL.

[Lynnmain]

I really know how scary it feels.. I remember always trying to think ahead in case I fainted like for example I would call my mom or hubby to say I didn't feel good and to call and check on me in twenty mins or I would have a house phone next to me every second in case I needed to call someone fast.. The thoughts just went on... But they really did go away on its own. My health anxiety ended up getting worse but that whole fear is done and over. I'm actually very very aware now that all my past fears were anxiety and I hope that remembering that will keep future worries away.. Not sure if it going to work but I hope!! Anyway, if you get nervous you can always message me.. I'm not an expert but I truly know how you feel.

[NorthernOwl]

Nothin will happen to you