Hi everyone, my name is Melody, I am 34 and I live in Hot Springs Arkansas. I guess you can say I have an anxiety problem. With alot of things that has happened in my past and present, I guess the general stress is finally catching up. A body can only take so much stress. I have no health insurance and the local ER's has seen me way to many times with my "episodes" were I think its going to be my last breath. Since 2009, when my mother and grandmother passed 4mos apart, to knowing that I no longer have any close family anymore. 2yrs later, my husband of 5yrs left me, to loosing jobs, I can go on and on. I am now in a relationship, however not really for sure how this will work out in the future. Ive gained some weight, where I am constantly looking in the mirror or taking pictures of myself and getting disgusted, and wondering if its my weight that the reason for my current relationship problems exist.
Now to the anxiety. For a while I thought along with everyone else that I had an inner ear/vertigo problem. My right ear was completely blocked, and I would get dizzy for no apparent reason, however that is no longer a problem. But now, and for awhile now, there is sometimes that I cant drive without my heart racing, I cant hardly do any excersise without my heart rate going higher than what it should. I am constantly online "googling" many things and freaking out even more when I see heart attack or heart disease symptoms and constantly think it is something major and I am going to die soon. My blood pressure will go up for no reason, espiecally at night when I am laying down and relaxed. I did finally go and see an actual doctor and he has only done blood work so far that has all came back fine. I am on a beta blocker (Tenormin) for high bp. However when I was at the doctor, it was at a perfect 123/76. It has gotten to 151/98 before. Again I freak out over the littlest things, sometimes I even get disoriented and cant hardly talk normal. I have never taken any valium, xanax, ativan, anything of that sort. The doctor wrote me a script for Paxil, and I have yet to fill it because I am afraid of how my body will react to it. I have "googled" that before also. lol. As of right now however, I am relieved that I have found something like this, and I am not totally crazy.....yet. From reading some of the posts, I know I am not the only one going through some of these symptoms. I am always open for making new friends, and if anyone has anything to share regarding any of this, please reply. Thanks