Just when I thought I was doing better

[sky3942]

I had the best day yesterday. No anxiety or worries about anything. But today my 12year old had an appointment with a oral surgeon for teeth extractions to be removed for braces. When he came he showed me where she has a large nasal polyp. I like to hit the floor I had a full blown panic attack. He told his assistant that I got scared over it and kind of smiled and the assistant told me almost everyone in South MS has one.Well that did not work for me she could see I was distressed and ask me if I wanted to make an appt. for an ent today. I said yes. I am just sick with worry.


She has had severe allergies all her life. And he said that is what its from that its not a tumor. But no me I think the worst. My question is, can this be a legitimate worry or HA Is that the difference? The panic the anxiety the feeling of death and doom. or what.

And I was just thinking about trying to get off my meds because I was doing so well. I want to cry but I can't because of the meds. Her appt. is at 2 I am so scared.

[sky3942]

i'm not going to google. I'm not going to google. Oh but I want to but I am not!!

[mollyfin]

Definitely sounds like your anxiety at work.  Do your best to keep your anxiety from your kid.  It's contagious!  If you want to have it removed because you think it might help your kid's breathing (are they often congested?  It can help with that) or diminish the allergies you mentioned, that's understandable, but there is NO DANGER in nasal polyps beyond increased risk for sinus infections and the like.  They don't turn into anything bad. 

[sky3942]

Thank you Molly for that I need some words of encouragement I love this little girl so much so is my sunshine.

[gcalex]

Did you say you are unable to cry because of meds, can you please explain that, thank you.

[bhandley]

Did you say you are unable to cry because of meds, can you please explain that, thank you.

I get that. Its like for me, I want to cry, I feel the emotions but there is something inside me which tells me crying is a waste of time. I have the anxiety but the emotional connection is somewhat dampened. I havent done more than smart in my eyes for over 8 months. I cant explain it any more than that unfortunately, I just cant cry.

[sky3942]

update seen ENT he dug in her R sinus and he said their was nothing there. HE said that her membranes were swollen dure to allergies but not polyp. About not being able to cry, my meds which is Sertraline 150mg dly and .25 of Klonapin x2 dly keeps me from crying I am upset but it keeps what I call a blanket on my emotions. I have panic and anxiety but not as intense when I worry. I find things funny but don't really feel the joy of it. But I know i have to take it just like today I cannot control my HA.

[gcalex]

Yes people complain sometimes about emotional blunting from SSRIs.  It could be a benzo thing too.  I guess you have made the judgment that the positives outweigh the negatives, but that's a tough thing to deal with nonetheless.

[sky3942]

yes I have gcalex. I know that therapy would be a better option but still hunting for one here in rural MS. I think that PTSD is fueling this HA. I had a distrubing childhood one you read about or see in a movie on lifetime. My marriage was the same way. I have horrific flashbacks daily. But I have to say my husband is not the man I married he tells me he did not know how to be a Father, or husband. He is wonderful now we both have grown up. I talk about my childhood a lot with my family it does help. My daughters can't believe my childhood since I have sheltered them from any kind of violence. But I am living one day at a time now. I keep saying the past is over and none of it can hurt me now.

[mollyfin]

My girlfriend also has the issue of not being able to cry on klonipin.  She's in the process of coming off of it now.  So you're not alone there.