Afraid of school

[lcfrogs]

I've been relatively calm the past two days, after coming out of a severe anxiety episode. But this morning I am so super anxious and shaky; I'm afraid of going back to school today.  Mostly, I am afraid of my oral communications class because I am absolutely terrified of public speaking. I've been dreading and avoiding this class the entire time I've been in college; I waited until my last semester to take it. I feel like I can't do it, especially right now when my anxiety has been so bad.

But I'm even afraid of my other class: biology. I'm worried about being around people and potentially talking to people. It seems like my social anxiety has been a lot worse recently, especially because I haven't been afraid of school since I was a kid. I've also been having trouble communicating with people face-to-face, even people I know. It's like I turn brain dead and I talk really slow or don't say much or I just stare at them. Why is my social phobia so much worse? Can anyone else relate to this problem?

[Cuchculan]

We do have another poster here on the same board with almost the same problem. I will copy what I posted to him. It also includes our new site hero Jay and her video in which she claims she is socially awkward. Well worth watching.

Is there no help available in your school? Most schools have people you can talk to. Then they work out a plan of action. With social anxiety it can be all about doing things at your own pace. A lot of people like to rush things. Get them over with fast. They end up tripping over their own words. Which can make them look bad. I used to be same when out. But I simply slowed myself down. Took a step backwards. Took a deep breath and began doing things at my own pace. Began doing things my own way. In other words I was in control of the situation. The situation was not controlling me. It can take time. People do blush. People who haven't even got anxiety issues. I will post a video from youtube with this. Our new hero, Jay. As she posts a link to this site under the video. She classes herself as socially awkward. But to go on youtube and make a video about it. I mean that takes a lot of nerve to do. It shows what people can do if they put their minds to it.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFFg1KidsD8" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFFg1KidsD8</a>

I love her attitude for actually making this clip for others to watch.

[lcfrogs]

Well, there actually is an Accessibility department for people who are disabled, which I just heard about. I am on disability because of my anxiety...I might be able to go there. I'm not sure if they will consider me disabled or not.

I can't watch the video right now because I'm really anxious and the thought of watching it makes me more anxious....I know, I'm weird. But I promise I'll watch it later.

I actually have been doing things at a slow pace, since I feel so stupid lately. I'm definitely not rushing through anything. But I do think it is helping me, so I agree with you.

Thanks for your input. School went well yesterday, I was even able to read in front of the class. It made me more confident. 

Thanks again!

[Cuchculan]

Well done to you for reading in front of a the class. Big step. Reward yourself. Something a lot of people forget to do. Be it something you like to eat. Or whatever. A small reward for doing so good at school yesterday. Remember, once you do good one day, you can do good a thousand days. Just have to believe in yourself.

[lcfrogs]

Thanks! I think I did reward myself. Last night I was a lot calmer and I was able to relax and play a game on my iPhone. 

[Nofeetmode]

Hey, Frog. I notice you mentioned the accessibility department. I was wondering if you have had any luck with that. I have a similar department at my school and I was wondering if it was worth trying to go there. I don't want to walk in to the appointment just to be rejected in some way.

[lcfrogs]

Hey, Frog. I notice you mentioned the accessibility department. I was wondering if you have had any luck with that. I have a similar department at my school and I was wondering if it was worth trying to go there. I don't want to walk in to the appointment just to be rejected in some way.

I had a meeting with the coordinator of the Accessibility Department, and she was actually very helpful. Their job is to not only help students with physical disabilities, but also mental disabilities. During my appointment we mostly focused on helpful ways that I could get through my public speech. The woman was willing to allow me to do anything that might be helpful, as long as my therapist and nurse practitioner also agreed with it. My therapist did not want me to completely avoid doing the speech, but she was okay with me accessing accommodations. So some of my suggestions were to do my first speech in front of only my teacher, or if I present in front of the class then I wanted to be one of the first people to give my speech so that the anxiety wouldn't build up while I was waiting to go. I opted for the second option, and I actually gave my speech yesterday. The woman I spoke to had a discussion with my teacher, explaining my disability and the accommodations I requested. However, it turns out that I practiced so much for my speech that I felt pretty confident and I volunteered to be the first student to present. The woman I spoke to also offered me other accommodations...such as giving me extra time on tests because of my inability to focus. Most schools want their students to succeed, and are willing to take the time to help you. I definitely don't think it would hurt to ask for help.

[Nofeetmode]

That sounds great! I will definitely have to go to the accessibility department. I've been putting off speech for three semesters now.
I'm also happy for your success and impressed. I can only imaging how stressful that first speech must have been. Keep up the good work!

[lcfrogs]

Thank you! It was definitely scary, but I feel accomplished now and very relieved that it's over with! Two more speeches to go! 

[newmama]

I understand. I just graduated college, and my social anxiety really messed up my performance. Academically I did well, but my relationships with teachers and students were awkward. My professor gave me a B in my last social work class because she said I didn't talk enough. My field supervisor from my internship rated my maturity and ability to work under stress as "average." I feel like people have these perceptions of me that aren't accurate. They aren't able to see the real me because of my SA. I do come off as quiet and awkward, but I feel like I have no control over it. I wish people understood what I was going through. I wish they knew how hard it was for me to perform with my anxiety. I made it through though, and I know you can too. Just hang in there and try not to focus on what other people think of you. I had to do that or I would have lost my mind.

[jessie239]

I graduated last semester with my Associates Degree. I took Public Speaking (Oral Communications) last semester. At the time, it seemed like an absolute nightmare for me. I dreaded it all through college, knowing that I *had* to take it. I waited until the last possible time to take that class. I ended up taking it online, but I had to go to the school and say 3 speeches in front of at least 10 people. The speeches all together had to be at least 10 minutes. Which is like an eternity for me. I was a nervous wreck until I had to do those.
I really ended up not doing that bad. I ended up getting an A on my speeches, even though my voice was shaky and I stuttered a few times from being so nervous. Everyone else said that I did great. They all even clapped after I was done. I thought that I couldn't do it too. But right after I did them I felt this sigh of relief and I felt more confident. Just the fact that I spoke my mind and people were actually listening was a big mind-blower for me. It helped me a lot in the end.
Sorry I didn't give any great advice, I just hoped that telling you my experience with it would help, that your not alone :-)