When there's something actually wrong with you but you don't know what...

[DizzyKangaroo]

I've had a lot of health scares lately, and almost all of them turned out to be nothing. However, I've often posted of my many swollen lymph nodes, and today I found out I have a lot more than I realized. They're all swollen throughout my neck, my shoulder blades, my armpits, my stomach, my groin... the list goes on and on. I have a stomach sonogram scheduled for next week, and the doctor took five vials of blood for various tests.

I'm scared out of my mind. I know that it's probably not cancer-- they don't seem to fit the criteria of cancerous nodes-- but it's still terrifying to constantly have these nodes swelling up everywhere. Some of them in my stomach/pelvic area are painful, which lean toward infection, and the doctor put me on Amoxicillin. My mind keeps racing though-- I've been dealing with these nodes for well over a month, so why hasn't my body fought the infection off by now? Is it some sort of super infection that's slowly killing me? Is it not an infection at all but something worse?

It's horrible. I know something's wrong with me, but I don't know what, and my mind keeps jumping to the worst conclusion.

[LVMomra]

If you weren't scared, that would worry me! Please be kind to yourself and expect the very best-that these are nothing horrible and awful, that you're going to be fine and well for many years to come. Let us all know how your sonogram turns out next week.

[marc]

Anyone would be scared in your situation. Please let us know how everything
works out. Good luck.

[colls22]

Yes, please keep us posted :)

What do swollen nodes feel like, anyway? During my whole lymphoma freak out I've been feeling around in those areas, but don't know that I can feel anything. People are always posting about swollen nodes, but I really have no idea how to tell.

[DizzyKangaroo]

Hmm. Hard to describe... my biggest one feels like a soft lump that moves a tiny bit when i push on it. Apparently if they're soft and movable they're not cancer, which relieves me very much! If you don't know if you can feel anything, they're probably not swollen.

I'm really worried about this, but I'm dealing with it better than I once did. I'm on antibiotics as well, which should help-- when I went to the doctor yesterday, I spoke with two, and they both said they thought it was a lingering infection, and that all the additional tests were just to be safe. My hypochondriac mind makes me focus on the very small off chance that it's something bad. I've found it helps a little to remind myself that I know I don't have lymphoma or thyroid cancer (had my thyroid checked recently and I believe lymphoma would have showed up on the several blood tests I've had over the last couple of months).

I also know that it's statistically extremely unlikely I have some other form of cancer (I'm twenty-one and otherwise healthy). I still have all the little nagging 'What if's, but... well, I'm learning to live with it. I'm not panicking the way I used to. When I thought I had skin cancer last year I shut myself in my room for three days and barely came out. I can't live like that. I'm worried, but I'm not letting it consume me. In two weeks I'll be visiting a psychiatrist for more help. I think-- I hope!-- that the worst is over.

[DizzyKangaroo]

I had my stomach sonogram today. That, along with the blood work that had been done last week, came back fine. I should be thrilled, and before today I was doing remarkably well with my anxiety, but today it all came back full force. I'm still having mild pains, especially in the pelvic/groin area. I have highly irregular periods (last one was late November), and I'm worried about having some sort of female cancer. I've just discovered that in the center of both of the creases where my inner hips/thighs meet my pelvic/groin area are what feels like hard, barely mobile lymph nodes (I really can't tell if they're moving or not). The one on the right is a little larger than the one on the left. Thanks to this, the fear hasn't gone away at all but has actually gotten worse. I'm already covered in swollen lymph nodes but these seem different from the others. They're not painful, but they (or the area around them) feel a little tender when I poke at them for too long.

I have my yearly gynecologist appointment in nine days. I'll bring it up then, but I'm really scared. I was so happy that I was doing so well with my anxiety, too. I can't stop thinking about ovarian cancer-- I've heard that the symptoms show up later on, so I'm picturing myself as being too far along to be helped. I have no idea how long cancer takes to develop, and when you start showing signs-- is it weeks? Months? Years? I want to Google, but I know not to.

Bah. This has not been a good day.

[Hohum]

Lymph nodes of concern are often classified as; slowly enlarging over time, completely painless/non-tender, not mobile when pressed, and appear in one spot or side of the body, but not the other (eg: under one armpit or on one side of the groin).

It sounds like you had a lot of lymph nodes appear in a short space of time which were bilateral in many places (on both sides of your body), tender, soft and mobile. This sounds highly suspicious of infection being the cause. Lymph nodes can also stay enlarged for a long time after infection (weeks to months) and some never go down at all.

The bumps in your groin may or may not be lymph nodes at all. Our bodies are full of lumps and bumps that we only find when poking around for something else. If they are nodes, chances are they swelled with your other nodes and haven't started to go back down in size yet.

I can completely understand that this is a scare, I would be freaked out too in your situation and I have a pretty good handle on my HA these days :) That being said, it sounds like you've had a pretty good batch of tests which came back OK. Did the antibiotics help? What follow-up has your Doctor recommended?

[DizzyKangaroo]

Thanks, Hohum, that makes me feel a lot better. You're probably right. I'm not sure if the antibiotics are helping, as I never really felt sick at all, but I haven't been worsening. The doctor told me if the aches are still present in a couple of weeks to come back. I'm hoping that the lumps I mentioned are just normal lymph nodes, too. I'm pretty sore from poking them so much, and I'm trying my best to leave them alone :)

[Hohum]

Yes, not poking at them is a good idea!  Lymph nodes are one of the top-3 reasons people go to a Doctor (along with respiratory infections and skin lesions/moles) and the cause is almost always infection. So even though it's a big scare, just remember that this type of thing happens all the time and Doctors see it multiple times a day. Even though you don't feel sick doesn't necessarily mean there isn't an infection in your body that it's fighting off. In short - your body is going through a normal immune-system response ... just try to relax and think positive thoughts! :)

[DizzyKangaroo]

Well, today is the last day of my course of antibiotics. I'm not worse, but I'm not any better. The nodes are the same size and the ones that hurt still hurt. In fact, a new one on my upper rib cage hurts as well now. It's not an unbearable pain, more of a constant ache, but it's worrying me. I don't believe I have cancer, but I am worried that it's an infection that's doing damage to me. I haven't had any other symptoms-- I occasionally feel feverish, but very mildly so. I'm really starting to obsess over this... why can't I just leave it alone?

[Hohum]

Lymph nodes can stay swollen for a long time after the infection is gone. This is normal and nothing to be concerned about. Typically they will start to go down a few weeks post-infection but it can take longer. In some cases they never go back down fully. I have several on my neck which are enlarged from an infection years ago.

Also there's the possibility that your illness was viral in nature and not bacterial. In this event, antibiotics would have no effect. Most viral infections are simply left to run their course and can often linger for weeks as well. Plenty of fluids and rest is the best medicine.

You're right to be cautious over this, but try not to obsess. There are so many causes of enlarged nodes. If an infection was bad enough to be doing any serious damage to you, you'd have a very high fever and be bedridden. If it was anything else serious and of concern, you'd have other symptoms too. It really sounds like the tail-end of an infection which is hanging on in there.

I'd call your Doctor and make a follow-up for next week perhaps. That way, if things start to improve before then you can always call and cancel, and if not you can go discuss it with your Doc.

[DizzyKangaroo]

Thanks, Hohum. You've managed to calm me down a few times now, lol! I have tried to tell myself that if it were an infection doing serious damage I'd be in a lot worse shape, but somehow hearing it from someone else is what I needed to accept it. I'll just try and keep an eye on things, and I'll do my best not to obsess.

[Hohum]

Good, I'm glad that you are able to accept this. Finding logic in the face of actual physical symptoms that you can see and feel is much harder than when they're anxiety-related (eg: my side hurts, or my leg is tingling, etc). You are doing really well though, and should be proud of how calm and level-headed you're handling the situation! Kudos!

Keep reminding yourself of how you feel right now daily. The doubt will try to creep back in - don't let it.