OFFENDED!

[Emily]

Am I the only one who feels offended when people who live without Panic & Agoraphobia criticize the way I live life? My husband has communication issues. He sees a shrink for these issues. He only started therapy recently at my request. It seems to me that I get blamed a lot for his mistakes. He comes home and says ridiculous things to me. Examples: "My therapist says I should stop letting the dogs out in the middle of the night or in the morning when you are trying to sleep in." or "My therapist says that the only reason you are afraid of my driving is because you are agoraphobic." In reality, I have been afraid of the man's driving LONG before my anxiety started! He has had about 30 moving violations since we met 7 years ago. I have also been in 4 car accidents with him (ALL HIS FAULT!) since we got together. What the hell does this have to do with Agoraphobia? I am not in denial that I have Agoraphobia, but I have NO problem riding as a passenger in many other people's care. I am really upset today because of all this. I need to get it all out. I am SO grateful that I have you guys to vent to when times get rough. YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND! I am fed up with this shrink he sees. We are NOT in marriage counseling for a reason. He needed help with this communication problem he has had since BEFORE we met. I just can't take advise from somebody who has no compassion. Especially a person who doesn't have panic disorder. If I could, I would become a therapist, just so people who have it could come to me and actually get something out of it.

I am really offended! I have been fighting this crap everyday for 3 years now. I tend to get a little discouraged when "people" say I am not doing enough to get well. I take the meds, I do the reading, the therapy, the WORK! I think we are all entitled to have a down day every now and then. Don't you?   :-\

Thanks for listening.

Emily

[apple]

I understand your being angry about that.

Remember that this therapist is only hearing his side of things, a therapist can only help with how honest a person is to them.  He probably leaves out things that make himself feel bad about himself, so the therapist can agree with him with what he wants to believe.  Does that make sence?  You do know your issues cause some problems in the relationship but boy its so easyfor them to blame that for everything that happens :-\

Have you ever thought of doing your own councelling with the same therapist?  Then after you both have gone so far with the same therapist, you could do marriage councelling together.  This way you each help yourselves out alone, then this therapist knows you each individually and can better help the two of you.

[Emily]

Thanks Apple :)

It's really not just the therapist that pisses me off.. There are a lot of other people who judge and make me angry. They say things like, "you really need to get out of this funk." or "life will stay the same until you do something about it." These things may hold true to someone who is complaining yet not doing anything about the panic.. but I am actually fighting! We all have good days & even weeks, but sometimes it hits like a freight train with no warning. Then I have to start over.

My point is, it's not just the therapist I am upset with, although I am a little peeved and it probably is my husband's fault she says things of the sort.. but all of the other people who judge and tell you to move past it. They have no right to say how we should deal. Compassion is one thing.. but to actually tell me to just get over it and move on is another.

I may have to attend marriage counseling eventually.. Sad, but it looks like things are headed that way.. I don't even leave the house for therapy at this point. Thats how bad I am right now.. I appreciate the advice. You are great!

Emily