Could REALLY use some logical advice. In a panic

[WyattsMomma]

I have been self talking and trying to stay positive. I have been doing ok, some days better than others re: Worrying about Lung Cancer. I know that I had a clear x ray a few months ago, and I try to keep it in perspective. I do still do the "what if they missed it's" but for the most part I am trying to believe the doctor. BUT today, I was on the quit smoking boards (I quit 47 days ago after heavy smoking for around 15 years, I am 29 years old now) and they had a blog from a woman who was diagnosed at 37 and died at 39 from LC and she lived like 15 minutes from me. I don't know why but it totally threw me into a panic. I am SO freaked out that I am designed to die like her, to get LC  young and miss out on raising my son. I can not talk myself down, and I am REALLY trying to keep myself as calm as possible. I need help, advice, words of encouragement, SOMETHING to help me. I am just so worried about the damage I caused my lungs, and that they won't heal and that I will be the unlucky one :'(

[sassparella]

You had clear x-rays and you've quit smoking so you're actually doing pretty well. If there was any lung cancer it would have shown up in the x-rays, this story that you've read has just thrown you. Just because someone living near you had lung cancer doesn't mean you'll get it, remember your x-rays were clear. Well done for quitting smoking btw that's great. Just remind yourself that you are fine, your tests were clear and that thinking you're designed to die like this woman is just faulty thinking. You need to continue your self talking and staying positive and congratulate yourself on your success in kicking the smoking habit.

[WyattsMomma]

Thank you for your response. I know this is crazy thinking, but in the midst of it, it is SO scary. I think the reason I dwell on LC is the guilt, like I deserve it because I smoked and was stupid and careless and selfish. And I don't want my son to have to live with my mistakes. I mean I don't want any cancer, but a cancer I did to myself? That is unbearable to me. I lost my grandfather and uncle to LC, and I know they missed out on A LOT. I hate the constant worry of "did I quit in time? Dodge the bullet?" Gosh, I pray so

[Hohum]

Lung cancer is EXTREMELY rare in people under 50+. Blogs written by people living with a cancer or disease you're anxious about are just about the worst things you can read for sparking extreme HA. My heart absolutely goes out to the lady who lived near you and died at 39 from lung cancer, and her family who had to live through that too, but she really does represent 1-in-a-million odds.

Huge congratulations for quitting smoking. Your HA can be used for something positive, to keep you on the wagon and away from smoking ever again. Both of my parents smoked from their teens until their mid-30s and they never had so much as a cough. You've quit in good time and staying away will decrease your chances of ever getting LC to tiny odds. Starting to smoke again is the only thing which poses a significant risk.

Good luck and stay strong!

[WyattsMomma]

Thank you so much for that Hohum! I needed to read that today. I have often thought that maybe my HA was God's way of smacking some sense into me ie. Smoking. I know if it wasn't for the total pure and crazy panic I would still be puffing away. It guarantees I will never light up again, that is for sure :)

[LindaRK]

Congratulations on quitting smoking! I  agree - you had a clear scan which is amazing in itself after that long smoking!  Your anxiety is just focusing on this other woman.  Try and let it go - maybe stop visiting the smoking boards or make a choice in advance NOT to read posts about people with lung cancer or ones who have died from it.