I feel like I'm the only one that has it this bad.

[Twinhere]

This started a little over 4 months ago from my dumb 0104 trying weed and having the worst panic attack of my life.
Symptoms
Extreme dizziness where i can't do anything but lay down.
Insomnia-some days i get 7+ hours of sleep, but i always worry since i went about 2 weeks once without it completely. Around when this all started.
Burning sensation in my head.
Hyperventilating to the point where my body tingles, goes numb, and i almost pass out.
Panic attacks randomly, but mostly if I go anywhere out of my apt.
Worst one is probably the un real feeling, like I'm living in a dream (nightmare).
Horrible memory on remembering what days i did something or not remembering some stuff at all..
On really bad days, horrible cotton mouth that nothing cures.
Also on bad days, horrible stomach pain.
Of course we can't forget the horrible depression..

I took 100mg Zoloft for the first two months with no help at all so i weaned myself off.
I used to take .5mg xanax when this started just randomly through the day and 1mg ativan at night to hopefully help me sleep.
Now i take .25mg klonopin when I'm feeling a little bad and up to 1mg klonopin when I'm at my worst.
The question i have is does anyone have it this bad?
Also, how the hell do i go from normal life with no anxiety problems, to just trying weed and I'm in this nightmare forever?
I'll add if i can think of more stuff.

[Twinhere]

Also i lost both my jobs when this happened..
Have no insurance, and blew through my savings on doctor visits.
Also, went to ER about 10 times. Mostly at the beginning.

[greenzebra]

If you have the opportunity at all, I would really recommend counseling. I had a lot of the same symptoms after a friend of mine passed away and I started having bad panic attacks. I didn't know it was anxiety at first until the nurse clinic at my school recommended me to the go to the counseling department. After the first 2 weeks it really started helping, and I was doing a lot better when I went through the program. It's been 2 months and my anxiety's starting to rear its head again, so I'm trying to see another counselor. Hopefully it can help you too!

[Twinhere]

I've been seeing a councilor, but can't afford more then twice a month. I just don't understand why anxiety puts me in such physical pain... I can't take it anymore...

[Twinhere]

Been having trouble breathing lately, more then usual :/

[Twinhere]

Wish i could have good days.
Its like bad days and worse days...

[greenzebra]

Unfortunately, physical pain's really common with anxiety. /: This is probably a stupid question, but have you tried relaxation techniques? Or maybe just staying as busy as possible so your anxiety might subside some? I find that when I'm busy, I don't have as many physical effects of anxiety, and my mind quiets some. You also might really benefit from different anxiety medicine, but I know that can't be done without a trip to the doctor.

[jethbones]

Your comment regarding 'Worst one is probably the un real feeling, like I'm living in a dream (nightmare)' sounds as if you re experiencing depersonalisation, of which I know first hand is not nice, at all. Therefore I'm sorry you're going through that as well as everything else that you've stated. I wish there was something that I could suggest, but due to your financial state and the US not having free health service I am stuck in a sense of what I can suggest, but when I am having an attack or feel on edge -which is the majority of the time, I won't lie- I breathe in for 5 seconds, hold it and then breathe out, sounds silly I know, but it does help at times, I also carry a small brown bag with me when possible and carry a book with me too, since when I try to concentrate by reading I immediately shift my focus from my heart beat and my surroundings, maybe you could give it a try. If you ever feel especially on edge, give me a message and i'll reply as soon as I read it. Hope you're doing okay!

[Twinhere]

I'm so depressed today, i don't want to 0473, but its just to much. My family doesn't want to be around me because I'm to depressing and they think i have to do this on my own.. I hate feeling so alone and hate that none of my family understands. They all think its just a little stress and that the symptoms aren't as bad as i say... I'm so damn scared every day and only get comfort when I'm asleep. I just wanna be normal again, its so unfair!

[cutecat25]

I understand your fear of feeling like yours is worse than anyone elses. I worry about that everyday. But it's not true! Even though it feels like yours is horrible, and beyond any one elses experiences, so many people have suffered before you, as well as people who are still suffering, and you CAN recover.
I believe its all about our mindset.
I've tried medication , vitamins etc, but i truly fee if you start working hard to change your thoughts into more positive ones you will start seeing results.
Of course some people's anxiety is caused by chemical imbalances, which most likely can be helped through vitmins, diet changes etc, but alot f peoples anxiety is caused by some deep rooted past issue. We need to learn to  change our mindset,& therefore  increase our confidence, so that we can learn to subconciously move on from these past issues, and lead a healthier, happier more positive future.
Sorry if i was rambling.. lol
Just know your not alone! We are all a community, each of us suffering, but we will get there, if we just beleive we can & work hard. 

[Twinhere]

I keep taking klonopin thinking it's gonna make it ease up, but it's still bad, if not worse. Btw, I'm reading what you guys are saying and thanks for the support. I just wish it was getting easier. It's hard seeing my twin going out and still having fun while I've been locked in my apartment feeling awful

[cutecat25]

I can relate in so many ways. My twin sister is going travelling this year while i just stay here & go to college. She also works multiple jobs. But what doesn't make sense is she treats my family like crap, throws tantrums, argues. Yet my family help her with everything & cant even ask me how i am doing.
I am so alone, & i feel like she gets way more than she deserves.

[Twinhere]

My brother drinks and parties all the time, he's basically the one who talked me in to trying weed, yet everyone in the family treats me like I'm the screw up and he's perfect.  And I think my family doesn't ask how I'm doing because they don't like the answer. I guess I'm supposed to fake like I'm better...  Hey, at least you can do college, I'm having a hard enough time leaving my apt..

[Twinhere]

For some reason i keep thinking its a tumor or something and that I'm going to die. If i could get an MRI and some real help to knowwhat's really wrong i could possibly beat this.

[Twinhere]

Another depressing day in bed... I think I've lost all hope. I'm to afraid to leave my apt so I'm basically screwed..  I just can't get the help i need.

[brodie90]

hi , your story reads pretty much like mine and your physicle and mental symptoms also match  i could add a few more but i guess you could to , read my recent posting "worst year of my life but not given up " if i can carry on trying to beat it so can you , i now have good days and bad days which is better than all bad days  , push yourself to do some of the things you used to like even if its just for short while each day , try not to sleep in the day it messes up your night time sleep , distract your self with things that interest you it takes the edge off the anxiety ,avoid alcohol , dont try to hard to get better it just seems to push it further away ,for me in the past it has just sorted itself out without you realising its happening , good luck with your recovery.

[cutecat25]

College is hard, i also have to put on a fake happiness.
Do sonething little each day to challenge yourself.
Even if its doing some excercise in your bedroom.
Im thinking of going to the doctor today to ask for a referral to s new therapist but im scared of panicking.

[Twinhere]

I wish there was a severe anxiety group irl i could hang out with. People who understand..