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Author Topic: Do you need to stop caring to be able to stop worrying? I'm worried about Sex, h  (Read 553 times)

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Offline kranky123

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I read on an anxiety website that to stop anxiety you have to:
1) Never avoid what you worry about
2) Stop caring about having anxiety or not
3) Be okay with having anxiety.

Now this is my problem. I'm really worried about having Sex with my boyfriend. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I'm really really worried about it.

But if I go by what that website says, surely I should have sex even if I am really worried?

Do I have to stop caring about how worried I feel to be able to stop worrying about this?

I want to wait until I'm less worried, but that means I'm not okay with how worried I'm feeling. I read you need to be okay with how you feel. But I'm not okay with it because I only want to have sex when I'm less worried

Can I stop worrying about having sex? Do I have to stop caring about how worried I am? Or can I sit here and wait until I'm less worried, keeping an eye on it so I know when I'm okay with how worried I am.
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Offline Cuchculan

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I think what the web site meant was not to feed the anxiety. If we have an attack we tend to feed the anxiety by reacting to it. Like adding more fuel to the fire. But what if we ignored it? Most times it does just go away.

The whole question of sex is a different thing. The worst thing you can do is pair sex up with anxiety. Because then sex will always become an anxiety trigger for you. Don't rush in to anything. Make sure you are relaxed and feel comfortable doing what you are doing. And always remember that sex is not just about full intercourse. Loads of other things you can do that may make you relax even more.

Just think you read the article wrong is all.
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