I'm so mentally and physically exhausted that I literally cannot take it anymore. I am in a constant state of anxiety and depression. The days have begun to run together into one long nightmare. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live. I just want to be happy. I want to wake up tomorrow and the next day and the next day without the screaming thoughts in my head telling me that I have this illnesses or that disease. I get nothing out of life anymore. No pleasure, no happiness. I lay in bed for hours a day. My quality of life is gone. I am now simply just alive. I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I've worn out my welcome at every turn. I have no one to talk to, no one to cry to, no one to panic to. I no longer think about the future. I've cancelled all of my goals and dreams for I am convinced I do not have much time left on this earth. I will not take my own life, these diseases/illnesses/sicknesses will though. The therapy, the medicine, the books, the forums, the videos, the "apps" - none of it works. I truly believe I am too far gone. I feel like I am constantly trying to convince myself that I'm not diseased or dying. People look at me and say "There is nothing wrong with you. You're not dying. You are healthy" I get so angry. I feel as if they are trying to convince me the grass is hot pink when indeed it is green. I just want to scream and cry but there are no tears left to be had. I'm being punished for my mistakes.