Just not with it!

[WhiteTiger84]

I am having an anxiety/depression relapse it started a few days after Christmas, It just came on I think due to being under a lot of stress. I has been pure hell! I wake up every morning in complete panic and just cry and cry. Then usually as the day goes on my anxiety calms down but the depression stays, ny the ebening i feel so strange just not with it, i just dont feel right and i cant figure out what it is, its terrifying me, im so low at the mo and cant see a way out, i had my lexapro increased from.15 to 20mg 2 days ago so i know iv got a long wait yet to see if it helps, im on clonazepam 1mg in the morning and 0.5 before bed as well. Im seriously losing hope, im under the care of the crisis team who visit me daily. I just want my life back this is pure torture!!! If you have experienced this before could you right a post please. Or even just some encouragment would be really.apreciated :'(

[kconnors]

Hi,

I am so sorry that you are having this experience . . . I wish I knew what to suggest to help you but if you are under the care of a crisis team, then I don't think that I could add anything to make you feel better . . . have you had this happen before? Sometimes when a situation is very stressful (i.e. Christmas), then after it is over, all that adrenaline has to go some place . . . and then, on the other side, once the even is over there is a void which may be the depression . . . I don't know . . . I do know that I had an extremely stressful event and after it was over, I became extremely fatigued but at the same time restless (anxious) . . . .almost as if I was more comfortable with the stress because I knew what it was and then when it had dissipated, I didn't know what to do . . . I think that I was becoming depressed because of the anxiety and anxious because of the depression . . . it eventually worked out but I felt as if it would last forever . . . .I guess what I might be saying is that you have to stay tough and know that you can weather this event and make sure you tell your crisis team everything . . . .and if you can, perhaps it might be a wise idea to ask your crisis team if there is a 24/7 number you can call --- I know the crisis team where I used to work had at least one worker on call 24/7 and this, according to the clients, gave them a feeling of protection even if they did not use the on call worker . . . I know that it is rough going right now and that you are frustrated and scared, but as much as you can let reality brain guide you away from listening to anxiety brain and please, let us know how you are doing, okay? I know that you will make it because White Tigers always prevail! Take care, kc

[HaileyAnn]

Sounds a lot like me. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  As long as your doctor/ crisis team knows, you should be able to find a solution. I'm sure of it. Just keep your head up and don't give up. Everything will be okay. Give the new dose some time to work, alright? <3

[cutecat25]

Hey, i'm sorry your going through a rough time.
I understand how it i to live with this pure anxiety hell. My anxiety has been severe since last march, i get the odd "okay day" but its really tough, and i feel depression sinking in.
I also have been crying alot lately.
I'm here to talk if you need me.
just pm me on here :)

[WhiteTiger84]

Hi thank you all for replying to my post, I am starting to manage talking myself out of the morning panic it helps, bit onve im up im just so depressed and im terrified il get so low and want to give my up :'(  I love my kids and family so much i just.cant bare putting them through this, my mum is staying and doing most things for them as i just cant cope. This makes me so ashamed  and so sorry for her and them! my partner os away in his own country he left before thos.happertyed and is not due nack for another month, althougj he wants to come back, comitments mean he just cant! It's my sons birthday on wed he'll be 2 and it makes me feel so gulitx that i cant have a big party for him because of how im feeling. I just wish i could see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have had 4 bouts of this in 11 years and at one point i was well for nearly 9 yrs! Then 6 mnths ago i had one and its back Again! This frightens me so much that it may come back like that, i just couldn't cope like that! The crisis team have assured me that they will make sure i have specialist once i finish with them as last time i was left with no support at all! I've been on the waiting list for cbt for over 6 months too. The anxiety is hell enough but the depression is just as bad if not worse! I usually only have the anxiety not dep so this  a lot harder, i just hope i can get out of this and learn to keep it under controly thanks for listening guys x

[Lee Isaacs]

Hi, White.

Let me just start off by saying that I am sorry that you feel this way. You just described my life in a nutshell and I can tell you now that it is horrific to feel like that. The reason you feel "spacey" towards the evening could be a few different things. It may be your medication releasing certain naturally occuring chemicals within your own body in an attempt to calm you down or it could be that you have been on such an emotional roller coaster all day that your body and mind is just pure exhausted.

I have had this feeling for 8 years now and I chose the path of "just deal with it". I was on medication for several years but no combination or amount of drugs really helped me much. The only effective drug which I tried was Diazepam which is only given as a short term solution. I am now not taking any medication and my anxiety disorder is still there, 24 hours a day. I am not saying you will be the same, I am merely trying to help you choose a different path than I have chosen.

Don't get into the mindset that you will be like this forever as you may find a way to beat this. I gave up thinking positively and as a result, I am stuck in a rut. You need to keep talking to people, whether it be a doctor, a quack or friends and family. It's much worse on your own in my opinion. Medication can help too but it's human nature to rely on external help and I personally don't think this is the way to deal with it.

I honestly hope you find a way to defeat your anxiety / depression in the most suitable way for you.

If you ever want somebody to talk to, swear and shout at or just someone to listen to you, then please, please feel free to inbox me anytime. I know how valuable it can be to have someone to talk to when you feel like you do now.

Lee.

[WhiteTiger84]

First off im so sorry you are in the same boat it truely is pure hell! Meds do tend to work for me thank god its just the waiting until they kick in bit! I am on the waiting list for cbt and im determined to beat this f***er. I really hope you find a way to beat it too hun, thank you so much for the support bless you. Sending healing hugs your way xx

[HaileyAnn]

I hope everything works out for you soon. I'm sure it will. Xx