Fear of driving

[heartstringz]

Does anyone else have a fear of driving a car?  I really need to find a way through this fear but I'm not having much luck.  The public transport system here is not that great and I would like to have kids soon and can't rely on my husband (who works full-time) to drive us places - ie what if the kid has to go to the doctor etc - I can't make them walk there, that's not fair.

When I'm driving I get so scared that I'm going to have a crash and die.  I've seen how a lot of people drive and it seems like it's a high possibility to be honest. 

Then when I do drive something generally happens to feed this fear - I get tail-gated every time I drive (I do the speed-limit), I've also been threatened & sworn at, cut off, almost forced off the road etc.  I can't get over that stuff and it seems to happen to me more than anyone else.

Now I'm so afraid that I can't drive without someone else in the car with me.  I grip the steering wheel so tight and I'm in a heightened state of anxiety the entire time.  I also tend to panic, which is something I'd like to learn to avoid as it's dangerous - ie, an unexpected situation occurs and my mind goes completely blank except for the overwhelming need to stop the car NOW.  So I slam on the brakes.  I have nearly had many accidents because of this, so this in turn makes me feel unsafe on the roads.

I've always been a little scared of driving - sometimes in the passenger seat I'll freak out, but ultimately I'm pretty sure this started when I was learning how to drive.  One or other of my parents used to take me and they basically screamed at me from the second I got in the car to the second I got out.  If I made the slightest mistake there was hell to pay etc.  So I'm pretty sure that caused this problem, but now I have no clue how to fix it.

I've had refresher driving lessons (I actually do have my licence, somehow managed to pass the test, no clue how) but the instructors never understand.  They always say 'why are you here if you have your licence?'  or 'you can drive, what is your problem', or 'you are really hesitant, you need to work on that' and that is it.  So I've given up on wasting money on refresher lessons.

I have major issues with my spatial awareness when driving for some reason, which means I'm too afraid to drive by myself.  I need someone there to tell me if I am even in my lane because I cannot tell, let alone trying to park etc.  I've tried lining up points on the car etc but it just never works.  I really need to figure this out but don't have a clue how.

[HaileyAnn]

I haven't even gotten my permit yet because of this fear. I have only driven twice, once in a church parking lot and once up my driveway, and I'm petrified to ever try again. I completely understand the feeling.

[sassparella]

I haven't driven for ten years because of this. Recently my husband has been trying to get me to drive again, he doesn't really understand my fear but I'm just a wreck as soon as I get in the car.

[lilnutty]

i completely understand how you feel. i am 22 years old and have only driven a few times. the only reason i drove those times was because of my boyfriend begging me to let him teach me how to drive and one time one of my friends insisted that i drive around the block and back to my apartment,i ended up having to drive 30 miles  so she would stop giving me crap about not wanting to drive  and it was absolutely horrible.  anyways i have been afraid of driving for a couple years now because of numerous accidents that i have been in as a passenger. i dont know if i will ever overcome this fear but i hope so because i am so tired of having to walk to work.

[helplessdancer]

I have the same problem, only I never got my license because driving just made me so nervous that I would mess up and I couldn't focus. I don't even like being in cars and since I was in an accident last year, I've been very nervous driving anywhere further than a few blocks. There were several times over the summer I cancelled plans or spent the whole car ride white knuckled because I just had a horrible sense of impending doom. Luckily I live in London now and I can just take public transport. I even skipped going home for Christmas partially so I didn't have to ride back home from the airport.

[MissyH]

I am like you, I have my license, but I have not driven in years. I also live in an area where driving is needed and I have kids.

I completely understand what you mean by not being able to judge your spatial distances. I am always afraid that oncoming traffic is going to drive right into me, so I drive so close to the curb or parked cars to compensate. This causes my husband to freak-out on me which causes me to panic and doubt my judgment further!

I also am a horrible parker. I feel people are judging me when I am trying to park, like "What is she doing?". That also causes more panic, more doubt.

This fear of driving is starting to cause a lot of issues in my life. I can no longer hide it, I can no longer just hop on the bus. I hope I can get some help soon.

[creamcheese]

yes, I'm mortified of driving. Like you, both my parents have made me feel nervous, no offense to them, although they really insist I drive. I probably get this from my mom, she's a nervous driver though she does drive regularly. I used to be really excited about driving, like when I was 16, but due to nerves, I failed my license test *more than once*. I had friends who failed more times than me, so I assumed it wasn't all that bad. And shortly after I got my license, I was driving quite regularly and it gave me a lot of confidence and a sense of accomplishment. However, last year, I'm not sure what triggered my heightened anxiety of driving. I was going through numerous problems; namely a 0119 attempt by a best friend, etc. I also kept watching the news and would hear awful stories in terms of driving. B/c of that, I made mental images of these horrifying things and could not fathom touching a wheel. I have driven a few times myself afterward, but everytime I do I just fear making mistakes. I need to get over this b/c I know I have to drive as I have places to go that I know my parents cannot keep dropping me at. And it's a bit shameful that at my age (22) I'm not driving independently. But idk. Has anybody gotten over this fear? It would really help.